This was posted by a woman.
 

1. I thought we women were unlearning “It didn’t happen to me so it can’t possibly happen to you.”  

2. In my club days (1990s/early 2000s), the ladies’ restroom was a refuge. Guys dance with a girl and take things too far.

Heck, forget the dance. Ever been stared down from across a crowded dance floor in a packed club? You didn’t say anything to this person and when you tried to politely nod….the creep kept staring? No?

You can’t escape to your car because it is nighttime. Dark. Pitch black.Not necessarily the safest route. Even with your fellow girls, the walk to the car is …precarious. 

Yes, more than onceI have jetted my way to the restroom just to catch my breath and map out my strategy.  (Uncomfortable, didn’t like him, trying to give him time to find something else to do, he said something that made me change my mind…..)

Guys ain’t like gals. They can get dangerous when they feel rejected. Retaliatory. 

“Who does she think she is?”

“I didn’t like your &@+#$% no way.” 🗡

 I like my life. So I have headed to the restroom on occasion to strategize how to keep it going a little longer. Protect it from a fool. 

While in there, it was not uncommon to connect with another female clubgoer who knew exactly who you were speaking of and offered a tip or two.

How? Because many women have this strange habit of checking on one another and offering aid without wanting or expecting another thing in return. 😯😮

“What’s to keep any man from walking in? A sign?”

Well, it used to, yes.  Cultural norms dictated that men were stopped at the door and questioned.  Men would get maced or bouncers would be called in for reinforcements. Even fellow patrons would jump in. Instantly. 

And do the people who ask this silly question not watch films? Even if you have never done this. Women on dates alone run to the bathroom when they are uncomfortable. It is all you have sometimes. 

You’ve never seen a woman held hostage and she begs to go to the bathroom just to think and come up with a plan or hope that there is a window she can fit through?

Will your mother not allow you to watch this type of programming or something? 

Yes, women’s safety, our lives depend upon having spaces free of men. It only takes encountering ONE person having an unwell day for life as you know it to come to an end. Not a council. Not a board. Not a jury. One individual. 

If that isn’t your story, consider being thankful rather than being judgy and condemning other women who have had the misfortune of having different experiences.  Life circumstances change from second to second.

The Silencing is the Misogyny at Work

Part of living in a sexist and misogynist society is having threats, assaults, abuse, and violence minimized. If it doesn’t exist you can remain complacent and ignore it. 

Thus silencing becomes a necessity. 

Women are socially forbidden to speak of their concerns, experiences, issues, and problems.

Then it becomes legally forbidden.

Then we all become as deeply oppressed as the women in Afghanistan who are forbidden from being heard in any capacity. Forbidden from being heard or from speaking even to one another.

And no alleged “good men” will save us. 

Misogyny and sexism are a fire that we women do not want to play with as if it will not burn us down too. 

Let women speak because some of the women we share a planet with cannot now. 

If we keep this up, doing the work for misogynistic men and silencing one another, that could be us.

n the 1960s, Afghan women studied alongside men at Kabul University. In Afghanistan today, girls’ education is illegal. 

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