When someone in your life always chooses to have hurt feelings, especially over things that arenāt intended to be hurtful, it can feel like walking th
When someone in your life always chooses to have hurt feelings, especially over things that arenāt intended to be hurtful, it can feel like walking through a minefield barefoot. You’re always cautious, always adjusting, but never quite safe from their reaction.
Letās be honest: thereās a difference between being emotionally sensitive and weaponizing hurt feelings to control a space.
š„ Hereās How to Deal with Someone Who Always Chooses to Be Hurt:
1. Recognize the Pattern
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Is their hurt used to silence others?
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Do they make everything about how they feelāeven in situations that arenāt about them?
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Do they avoid accountability by crying āoffendedā whenever truth is spoken?
ā”ļø Naming the pattern helps you avoid internalizing blame that doesnāt belong to you.
2. Stop Over-Explaining
When someone wants to feel hurt, no amount of explaining will clear things up.
They arenāt seeking understanding. Theyāre seeking control.
ā”ļø You are not responsible for how someone chooses to interpret what you said or didāespecially when your intentions are kind and your behavior respectful.
3. Set Clear, Compassionate Boundaries
You can say:
āI care about you, but I canāt take responsibility for emotions that donāt belong to me.ā
āItās okay if we donāt always agree. But I wonāt walk on eggshells in this relationship.ā
ā”ļø Let your boundary be soft in tone but firm in practice.
4. Donāt Take the Bait
Their reaction may be designed to make you feel guilty, defensive, or unsure.
But you donāt have to match their energy. You can stay grounded in truth and keep your peace.
ā”ļø Youāre not coldāyouāre clear.
5. Decide What You’re Willing to Carry
If every interaction leaves you feeling depleted, resentful, or like youāre shrinking yourself to keep the peaceā¦
Thatās not a relationship. Thatās emotional labor without consent.
ā”ļø Give yourself permission to love from a safe distance if needed.
š Affirmation for You:
“I will not dim my light to accommodate someoneās chosen shadows. I can be kind without being controlled. I can be compassionate without being manipulated. I am allowed to growāeven if others feel threatened by it.”