How to Stay Safe When You're Judged Instead of BelievedIn the quiet corners of our communities, there are Survivors who never got justice—not beca
How to Stay Safe When You’re Judged Instead of Believed
In the quiet corners of our communities, there are Survivors who never got justice—not because there wasn’t harm, but because someone decided they weren’t “innocent enough” to deserve it.
Maybe she fought back.
Maybe she was loud, or angry, or didn’t cry in the “right” way.
Maybe she had a past.
Maybe she used drugs.
Maybe she didn’t go to church.
Maybe she wore the “wrong” clothes.
Maybe she spoke about sex without shame.
Maybe she wasn’t what they wanted a victim to look like.
So they called her “not so innocent.”
And with those three words, they gave themselves permission to ignore her pain.
🛑 Let’s be clear:
Justice is not reserved for the quiet, the pure, or the socially acceptable.
Justice does not require perfection.
Justice is not only for those who fit into someone else’s idea of “worthy.”
Because the truth is—many Survivors are complicated.
Messy.
Flawed.
Angry.
Human.
And they were still violated.
They were still harmed.
They are still deserving of support, safety, and justice.
🧠 Why This Matters:
The myth of the “perfect victim” is one of the oldest tools used to excuse abuse.
It tells people they have to be good enough to deserve safety.
It shames Survivors into silence.
It protects abusers who target the vulnerable—those they believe no one will fight for.
But We Survive Abuse was never built to only speak for those who are “easy to believe.”
We stand for every Survivor—especially those pushed aside, blamed, or overlooked.
💬 What They Said vs. What’s True:
What they said: “She was probably lying.”
What’s true: People lie about being abused far less than they lie to cover it up.
What they said: “She was no angel.”
What’s true: You don’t have to be an angel to be harmed. You just have to be a person.
What they said: “She put herself in that situation.”
What’s true: No one puts themselves in the path of abuse. The abuser made a choice.
🌱 We Say to Those Survivors:
You don’t need to be perfect to be protected.
You don’t need to be pure to be believed.
You don’t need to be anyone other than who you are to deserve safety.
You are not “too complicated” to matter.
You are not “too difficult” to defend.
You are not “too much” to be worth fighting for.
🪷 At We Survive Abuse, We Believe:
Survivors with criminal records deserve healing.
Survivors who fought back deserve support.
Survivors who stayed deserve compassion.
Survivors who are loud, bold, different, or complicated—deserve justice just the same.
Because being human never disqualifies you from being hurt.
And being hurt never disqualifies you from being helped.
