The Art of Growing With, Not Being Raised By, Your Relationship Partner

In any intimate relationship, two individuals come together, sharing their lives, dreams, and aspirations. But what distinguishes a healthy and fulfilling partnership from a potential imbalance is the concept of growing with your partner versus being raised by them.  

Let’s explore how we can nurture a relationship that allows personal growth, mutual support, and shared growth.

Growing With Your Partner:

Growing with your partner means embarking on a journey of continuous personal evolution while simultaneously supporting and encouraging your partner’s growth. It involves recognizing that each individual brings unique experiences, perspectives, and ambitions into the relationship and valuing these differences as catalysts for personal expansion.

1. Embrace personal growth:

True personal growth requires self-reflection, self-awareness, and a commitment to self-improvement. It’s about acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and taking responsibility for our own happiness and fulfillment. When both partners actively seek personal growth, it creates an environment where self-discovery and growth are shared experiences.

2. Cultivate open communication:

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Growing with your partner involves sharing your desires, goals, fears, and vulnerabilities, fostering an environment of trust and understanding. Encourage open dialogue that enables both partners to express themselves authentically, without judgment or criticism.

3. Encourage individual pursuits:

Growing with your partner means recognizing and supporting their individuality. Encourage each other’s passions, hobbies, and personal goals, even if they may differ from your own. By fostering an environment that supports individual growth, you create space for both partners to thrive and bring their best selves into the relationship.

Being Raised By Your Partner:

On the other hand, being raised by your partner refers to a relationship dynamic that revolves around dependency rather than mutual growth. 

It occurs when one partner assumes control or authority over the other’s life, stifling personal development and autonomy. 

This is not a love that flows from both partner’s strengths as human beings. This connection is a mismanagement of the power and the love each individual brings.  You can not be a “power couple” if both people are not freely growing. 

1. Avoid excessive reliance:

While interdependence is essential in a healthy relationship, relying solely on your partner for emotional, financial, or decision-making needs can hinder personal growth. Strive for a balanced relationship where both partners contribute equally, ensuring a sense of self-worth and empowerment.

2. Foster independence:

Being raised by a partner limits your personal development potential. Instead, cultivate independence by setting and pursuing personal goals, engaging in self-care practices, and seeking out opportunities for growth outside the relationship. Embrace the mantra that being a complete individual is not only beneficial for your own well-being but also for the relationship as a whole.

3. Establish healthy boundaries:

Healthy relationships require clear boundaries that respect and honor each partner’s space and individuality. Establishing these boundaries helps both partners maintain a sense of self while allowing the relationship to flourish. Communicate openly about your boundaries, needs, and expectations to ensure they are mutually understood and respected.

As we navigate the complexities of intimate relationships, it is crucial to distinguish between growing with our partners and being raised by them. 

By embracing personal growth, cultivating open communication, and supporting one another’s individual pursuits, we can create a partnership that encourages personal evolution while fostering shared growth. 

Remember, a healthy relationship is one where both partners uplift and empower each other, creating a balanced and harmonious union.  

Besides, if you are in a long-term relationship where someone is “raising you”, when do you finally become grown?  Who decides when you are grown? What are the guidelines?  

Will you be in your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond still being “raised” by someone?