ebook linkWe Are Not Afraid of Gender BendingI am GenX. We GenXers were born into a world of bold self-expression and fearless individuality. We
We Are Not Afraid of Gender Bending
I am GenX. We GenXers were born into a world of bold self-expression and fearless individuality. We came of age with Prince, Rick James, and funk bands strutting across stages in lace and heels, their masculinity undiminished by their love of eyeliner, great hair, beaded braids, and velvet. They looked as beautiful as their music sounded. It was a double treat.
We watched Annie Lennox and Grace Jones shatter stereotypes with their androgynous power suits and fierce, unapologetic femininity. We were captivated by James Stewart’s flamboyant style and the R&B bands who danced between masculine and feminine aesthetics without a second thought.
But not just in music. We supported gender-bending
in art, fashion, and writing. Long before social media, author E. Lynn Harris
was a favorite among Black women. The talented openly gay Black author who wrote
about Black gay male struggles got his start by selling his books out of the
trunk of his car at beauty salons. His writings opened the eyes of many to violence and abuse within Black gay
relationships.
We grew up in an era where gender-bending was celebrated, where artists played with identity not to erase it but to expand its possibilities. We loved them then, and we love them now. Our generation does not fear gender fluidity. As you’ve likely heard by now, there isn’t much that frightens us.
We embraced people being who they chose to be before it was a trend.
We shared the beauty, art, and sound of all of it with our children.
What We Will Not Tolerate: The Erosion of Women’s Rights and Identity
This position is not new.
Our concerns aren’t rooted in fear of self-expression or individuality. They are rooted in the historical and ongoing struggle for women’s safety, autonomy, and dignity. We’ve fought for decades to be recognized, respected, and protected. We’ve endured centuries of silence, of being told to sit down, be quiet, and accept our second-class status. We are still fighting to be seen as human beings, not objects to be defined, renamed, or erased.
1. Men in Female Disrobing Spaces
We are afraid because we know the statistics. One in four women experiences sexual violence in her lifetime. We know what it feels like to carry fear into every public space, to constantly calculate our safety. We are afraid because disrobing is vulnerability. A woman changing clothes, using the restroom, or showering is at her most exposed. This is not about identity; it is about safety.
We are not uncomfortable because of gender identity. We are uncomfortable because we live in a world where men rape and assault women at alarming rates. We are afraid because we know that predatory men have always used deception to access vulnerable women and girls. Our discomfort is not transphobia. It is the memory of what we have survived and the fear of what we may not survive next time.
We have a right to protect our bodies and our boundaries. Women’s safety cannot be sacrificed for anyone’s comfort.
2. Men Taking Opportunities from Women
We fought for every inch of progress. We marched, protested, and lobbied for women’s sports, for educational opportunities, and for equal pay. We demanded the right to compete fairly, to earn our achievements, and to rise on our own merit.
When male-bodied athletes enter women’s sports, we are not just losing races—we are losing scholarships, opportunities, and dreams. We are being told that our biological reality is irrelevant, that fairness must be sacrificed for inclusivity. But inclusivity should never require erasing women.
We are not angry because of identity. We are angry because we are being pushed aside once again. We are losing our right to compete, to achieve, and to exist as women.
3. Men Calling Women Disparaging Names
Language is power. Words can elevate or diminish, affirm or erase. Women have been called “bitches” and “sluts” for centuries, labeled as “hysterical” or “emotional” to dismiss our pain and invalidate our experiences.
Now, new words are emerging. Dehumanizing words.—“TERF,” “cis,” “birthing person,” “menstruator”, and “chest feeder.”
Rather than being simple terms of distinction, these words are being used to shame, silence, and erase women. We are told we are hateful if we reject these labels, that we are “bigots” for insisting on our right to name ourselves. We are accused of violence for simply speaking truth-no matter how empathetically or kindly.
So, whatever.
We will not allow anyone to rename us, redefine us, or silence us. We are women. We are mothers, daughters, and sisters. We are human beings, not objects to be categorized, rebranded, or erased.
4. Men Threatening Violence and Leaning Into Their Maleness
The greatest irony is that those who claim to dismantle patriarchy are leaning into its most violent tools. When women refuse to comply, they are met with the same threats, intimidation, and violence that have been used to control women for centuries.
We see men calling themselves women but behaving with the same entitlement and aggression that have always marked male violence. We see death threats, rape threats, lynching threats, and harassment aimed at women who dare to speak. We see men claiming oppression while exercising male privilege to silence, intimidate, and punish dissent.
Male violence is not erased by self-identification. Women have a right to protect themselves from male violence, regardless of how that male identifies.
Our safety is not negotiable.
5. Men Demanding Women Be Shields Against Male Violence
We are told that women’s boundaries are harmful, that we must accept anyone who claims womanhood. But no one is asking men to accept these individuals in their spaces. It is only women who must adjust, compromise, and make room.
We are told to make ourselves vulnerable to protect others from male violence. But women are not shields. We are not human sacrifices to appease male aggression. We refuse to carry the burden of male violence.
Men must confront male violence.
It is not women’s responsibility to protect men from other men.
6. Men Prioritizing Their Feelings Over Children’s Safety
Women have always been the protectors of children. We have fought to keep them safe from predators, to educate them about boundaries, and to defend their innocence. We will not allow any ideology to prioritize adult feelings over child safety.
We reject the notion that children must be re-educated to deny their instincts or suppress their discomfort. A child’s discomfort is a warning sign, not a prejudice. If a child feels unsafe or uncomfortable, that child deserves protection.
We will not gaslight our children to validate an adult’s identity. Children come first.
Standing Firm: Protecting Our Rights, Identity, and Growth
We are not afraid of gender-bending. We never have been.
You do not know us. You do not know our history or our present. You do not know who we have loved and who has loved us.
You do not know how we roll because we grew up in a time when people kept their business out of the streets.
But I will share this.
We are women defending our boundaries, our identities, and our rights. We are fighting for our daughters to have their own spaces, their own opportunities, and their own voices.
We are standing up for women who have been silenced, for girls who are being pushed aside, for mothers who refuse to be erased. We are standing firm because our safety, dignity, and humanity are not negotiable.
We embrace individuality and self-expression. We support everyone’s right to live authentically. That will never stop. But we will not be erased, renamed, or silenced.
We are women. We exist. Nearly every human being on this planet is here because a woman carried you and labored through childbirth so that you too could exist. We matter. And we will continue to speak truth, even when the world tells us to be quiet.
Our voices will not be erased.
Our identities will not be erased.
Our rights will not be erased.
Even when you say, “No debate” we will keep speaking.
We love you.
And, we love ourselves too.
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