He Harmed Who He Harmed — Not Who He Told the World He Wanted
People keep acting like a man’s sexual identity is a character reference. They say things like: “He likes women.”“He has a girlfriend.”“He wouldn’t do that.” As if attraction is a…
People keep acting like a man’s sexual identity is a character reference. They say things like: “He likes women.”“He has a girlfriend.”“He wouldn’t do that.” As if attraction is a…
This post is dedicated to James Ransone, who died by suicide two weeks after this was written. James spoke openly about being violated by a tutor in Baltimore at the…
The Lie We Tell to Stay Comfortable People say: “Rape is rape, it doesn’t matter who did it.” But that has never been true in practice. A wealthy man is…
This is a tender area. Many people tense up the moment sexual violence and sexual orientation appear in the same conversation. The fear is understandable: historically, LGBTQ+ communities have endured…
Saying “Black woman” is not race discourse.It’s not divisive.It’s not inflammatory.It’s accuracy in the field of violence and abuse — a field that has avoided telling the truth for far…
There are stories we rarely let breathe. The stories of Black men who were once Black boys — hurt, silenced, told to “man up,” told that pain was weakness,…
If the full extent of your “activism” against grooming is railing against age-gap relationships between older women and younger men, you might want to take another look at what you’re…
I’m not just speaking from a place of advocacy to victims. I’m speaking as a relative and friend who has had occasion to come alongside a male and aid him…
As an advocate, I have worked with male Survivors as colleagues, as a volunteer in organizations, and as the person that they confided in about being abused. Because of how…
There’s a tactic that shows up in debates, politics, in online videos, and—far too often—in the lives of Survivors. It’s called the Gish Gallop. The Gish Gallop happens when someone…