“She Knew What She Was Doing.” Why Do Adults Say This About Abused Children?
If there were no rapist in the vicinity, the child would not have been raped. There is a phrase that has always bothered me when people use it to talk…
If there were no rapist in the vicinity, the child would not have been raped. There is a phrase that has always bothered me when people use it to talk…
Another book from my personal shelf… Some books stay with you long after you’ve finished reading them. Bastard Out of Carolina (1992) is one of those books. But I want…
updated from September 24, 2025 Too often, when a woman dares to speak up about her own safety needs, she is shamed. Other women tell her she’s “overreacting,” “paranoid,” or…
You don’t have to worry about who we women are—since you don’t seem to know—because we are not the people behind the violence. Men need not keep speaking publicly about…
I am interested in the men who are willing to challenge male violence with the same confidence they use to challenge women’s refusal. It’s interesting to watch entire panels of…
When people discuss Jeffrey Marsalis, they often describe him as a “prolific rapist.” I don’t like that word because it doesn’t capture the full truth about criminals and harm. It…
They were in the kitchen. It was a small, minor disagreement, but he was frustrated and didn’t like her tone. He hit her. She was shocked; there was blood. That’s…
It takes extraordinary arrogance to approach grown women as if we are strangers to our own existence. Something has been bothering me about the way some of our leaders discuss race…
How we slowly surrender our boundaries, judgment, and needs, and what it means to begin returning to ourselves. There is something about Nina Simone singing I Wish I Knew How…
12 ways women are pressured, persuaded, and sometimes punished for refusing to organize their lives around men. Women are human beings in our own right. Yet across cultures, religions, families,…