In schools, faith communities, workplaces, and even families, efforts to keep the peace often ignore the power imbalance between abusers and Survivors
In schools, faith communities, workplaces, and even families, efforts to keep the peace often ignore the power imbalance between abusers and Survivors. But when one person holds control through fear, manipulation, or violence, there is no balance—and pretending there is can cost lives.
These are the spaces where power is often misused or covered up, and where “resolution” becomes more important than accountability, safety, or healing.
1. 🛏️ Marriage Counseling Where Abuse Exists
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Why it’s dangerous: If one partner is being abused, therapy can empower the abuser to manipulate the session, while the victim stays quiet out of fear.
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Result: Abuse is minimized. The victim is pressured to “compromise” with someone actively harming them.
2. 🙏🏽 Faith-Based Counseling That Prioritizes the Marriage Over Safety
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Why it’s dangerous: Religious leaders may push for forgiveness and reconciliation—even when abuse is present.
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Result: Survivors are guilted into staying. Safety, health, and sanity are sacrificed to “save the marriage.”
3. 🏫 School or Campus Resolutions That Protect the Institution
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Why it’s dangerous: Schools may care more about lawsuits and public image than about stopping abuse.
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Result: The victim is silenced or blamed, and the abuser often remains in good standing.
4. 🏅 Athletic Programs That Prioritize Winning Over Accountability
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Why it’s dangerous: In both youth and professional sports, when abuse or misconduct is reported, the focus is often on protecting the team, the coach, or the season.
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Result: The Survivor—whether athlete or not—is dismissed. The abuser is shielded to “protect the program.” Winning becomes the only thing that matters.
5. ⚖️ Restorative Justice Sessions That Ignore History of Violence
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Why it’s dangerous: These sessions assume both people come to the table on equal ground, but they often ignore past trauma or ongoing danger.
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Result: Survivors may feel re-traumatized, manipulated, or blamed all over again.
6. 🏢 Workplace Mediation Where Harassment Was Reported
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Why it’s dangerous: HR departments often want to resolve things quietly. Mediation can be used to silence rather than protect.
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Result: The victim is painted as “the problem,” and the workplace remains unsafe.
7. 👨👩👧 Court-Mandated Joint Custody After Domestic Violence
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Why it’s dangerous: Courts may ignore past abuse in favor of co-parenting ideals.
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Result: The Survivor and children are left vulnerable to further manipulation and harm.
8. 🧘🏽♀️ Community Healing Circles That Prioritize Group Unity
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Why it’s dangerous: These spaces often push reconciliation for the sake of the group’s image.
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Result: The victim is expected to “be the bigger person,” sacrificing their healing so the group can feel whole.
🔥 Final Thought:
Every time “resolving the issue” is centered over safety, accountability, and truth, a Survivor is left unprotected—and often, unheard.
Let’s stop rushing to fix what we won’t first name.
Let’s stop treating pain like a public relations problem.
Let’s build spaces where the harmed are believed, protected, and restored—not sacrificed.
