Because safety isn’t about luck — it’s about strategy.In July 2017, a 14-year-old girl was raped twice in one night.The first attack happened
Because safety isn’t about luck — it’s about strategy.
Photo by Steve Harrris
In July 2017, a 14-year-old girl was raped twice in one night.
The first attack happened in a secluded part of Witton train station in Birmingham. Shaken and terrified, she did what we’ve all told our daughters to do: find help. She waved down a car. Inside was a man who seemed willing to help. Instead, he raped her too.
That’s why some of us raise our daughters with a very specific instruction: If you’re in trouble, approach a woman first.
What the Numbers — and Survivors — Know
Yes, women can and do manipulate. But they do so at far lower rates than men. And when women cause harm, many will reflect, adapt, and change.
When men cause harm, far too many respond with anger or defensiveness — but not with transformation.
This isn’t about hating men. It’s about knowing the math of danger.
Why This Matters in Real Life
In emergencies, the person you approach has power over your body, your story, and your future. Survivors know that asking for help is not a neutral act — it’s a calculated risk.
When we teach girls to approach women first, we’re:
Stacking the odds in her favor when seconds count.
Reducing the likelihood of sexual violence in a moment of vulnerability.
Keeping her in a circle of care rooted in shared vulnerability and lived experience.
What Parents & Safe Adults Can Do
Model it. When you need directions, help, or information in public, let her see you ask women first.
Practice it. Role-play scenarios — “If you’re lost in a store,” “If your phone dies at night,” “If someone is following you.”
Name safe signals. Mothers with children. Women in uniforms. Pairs or groups of women together.
Build her network. Make sure she knows women she can call or text in a crisis.
The Bottom Line
We don’t raise our girls to live in fear.
We raise them to read the room, move with wisdom, and recognize that not everyone is safe.
It is not paranoia. It is preparation.
And preparation saves lives.
