Our continued thoughts and condolences to the family and loved ones of Nia Wilson. May she rest in peace and power. When women say “Text me when you
Our continued thoughts and condolences to the family and loved ones of Nia Wilson. May she rest in peace and power.
When women say “Text me when you get home,” it isn’t just courtesy—it’s survival wisdom passed down like an heirloom.
Men rarely have to build this practice into their lives. Why? Because the world doesn’t train them to be on guard every time they step outside.
Most men don’t wonder if their rideshare driver will lock the doors.
Most men don’t rehearse what they’d do if footsteps get too close behind them.
Most men don’t weigh whether it’s safer to leave a party early or stay and risk walking out alone.
For women, vigilance is stitched into ordinary life. We remind each other: “Call me when you get home. Text me when you’re inside.” It’s how we love and protect one another in a world that too often refuses to protect us.
Everyday Safety Checks Women Make (That Most Men Don’t Think Twice About)
Carrying keys like a weapon. Holding them between our fingers when walking alone, just in case.
Choosing parking spots strategically. Parking under lights—even before it gets dark—so we’re not left in the shadows later.
Avoiding certain cars. Not parking next to large vans, trucks, or vehicles we could be pulled into.
Double-checking the back seat. Always looking inside before getting into the car.
Walking with “purpose.” Adjusting stride, posture, or even pretending to talk on the phone to seem less vulnerable.
Crossing the street. Changing our route if someone is walking behind us for too long.
Watching drinks. Keeping eyes on them in public spaces—or never accepting an open drink from someone we don’t trust.
Checking exits. Noting doors and escape routes when entering unfamiliar buildings, rideshares, or public spaces.
Sharing location. Sending a friend a quick “I’m here” or “I’m on my way home” text.
Earbuds out. Not listening to music too loudly—or at all—so we can stay alert.
Hiding valuables. Making sure nothing in our bags or cars signals that we might be a target.
Avoiding elevators alone. Choosing to wait rather than getting into a closed space with someone who feels unsafe.
Changing routines. Taking different routes home or varying schedules so we don’t become predictable.
👉 For women, these “precautions” are second nature. For men, they’re often invisible. That difference? That’s what systemic safety imbalance looks like. Safety isn’t paranoia—it’s a necessity women carry, even in the smallest routines.
Our continued thoughts and condolences to the family and loved ones of Nia Wilson. May she rest in peace and power.
Nia Wilson
Nia Wilson was an 18-year-old woman from Oakland, California, full of promise and love for her family. On July 22, 2018, she was riding the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) train with her sisters when tragedy struck. As they exited the train at the MacArthur Station in Oakland, a man she did not know suddenly attacked them with a knife. Nia was fatally stabbed in the neck, and her sister was wounded.
The attack was brutal, random, and deeply racialized in the eyes of many community members who recognized the long history of Black women’s vulnerability being ignored. Nia’s death sparked grief and outrage across the nation. For many, she became a symbol of how Black girls and women are often unprotected, their stories overlooked, and their safety disregarded until tragedy forces attention.
Her life was stolen, but her name continues to be lifted as part of the ongoing demand that women and girls deserve protection, visibility, and justice.
