“She Knew What She Was Doing.” Why Do Adults Say This About Abused Children?
If there were no rapist in the vicinity, the child would not have been raped. There is a phrase that has always bothered me when people use it to talk…
If there were no rapist in the vicinity, the child would not have been raped. There is a phrase that has always bothered me when people use it to talk…
Another book from my personal shelf… Some books stay with you long after you’ve finished reading them. Bastard Out of Carolina (1992) is one of those books. But I want…
updated from September 24, 2025 Too often, when a woman dares to speak up about her own safety needs, she is shamed. Other women tell her she’s “overreacting,” “paranoid,” or…
You don’t have to worry about who we women are—since you don’t seem to know—because we are not the people behind the violence. Men need not keep speaking publicly about…
When people discuss Jeffrey Marsalis, they often describe him as a “prolific rapist.” I don’t like that word because it doesn’t capture the full truth about criminals and harm. It…
They were in the kitchen. It was a small, minor disagreement, but he was frustrated and didn’t like her tone. He hit her. She was shocked; there was blood. That’s…
How we slowly surrender our boundaries, judgment, and needs, and what it means to begin returning to ourselves. There is something about Nina Simone singing I Wish I Knew How…
If your vision of justice requires Black women to accept more danger, you have not finished thinking about justice. When Black women ask to be protected, we are not asking…
I don’t think people understand that working in a women’s shelter means keeping others, including children, safe. There is a woman in Alaska named Sherrie Laurie whose story deserves more…
I have spent more than 30 years working with women and children who have experienced abuse. And one of the things that experience has taught me is that people are…