When Communities Celebrate Predators: The Cost of Uplifting R. Kelly in Black Spaces

Stop making abuse a softer crime just because the beat is familiar.

Let me just get this sentence out so I can be done:

Must we use every Black occasion or collective cultural embrace to reach back and play R. Kelly?

This week, Malcolm-Jamal Warner passed. A respected Black actor. A cultural icon.
And yet—of all the songs in the world to honor him—somebody shared a track allegedly sung by R. Kelly.
Loud. Proud. As if that was the best we had.

I know that move.
I’m Black.
I’m American.
I know how that passive-aggressive play works.

There are plenty of crooners—some legendary, some local, some passed on—who could’ve sung a tribute song.
And it wouldn’t have gone viral. It wouldn’t have been reposted. It wouldn’t have been amplified.

But when it’s him, people go out of their way to shine the spotlight—as if he earned it with integrity.

This Is Personal.

At my child’s high school graduation, the school band director actually chose to have the children play R. Kelly.
As if we didn’t have millions of songs to pick from.
As if his name wasn’t tied to dozens of court cases, documentaries, testimonies, and victims.

That day, I mentioned it to an older relative.
She brushed it off.
Said I was too sensitive.
Gave me reasons why I shouldn’t feel the way I do.

I’ve been told that every time I’ve spoken up about R. Kelly being lifted, foisted, celebrated, and worshiped in public Black spaces.

But let me ask you something:

📊 Do you know how many children have been violated?

According to the U.S. Department of Justice and CDC data:

• 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18

• 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18

Let’s stop right there.

That means if you’re in a room full of 100 Black children,
you are looking at dozens who have lived through what we like to pretend isn’t happening.
Dozens who see adults dancing to the voice of someone like R. Kelly and think:

“Maybe what happened to me wasn’t that bad after all.”
“Maybe no one will believe me.”
“Maybe he’ll get a second chance, but I won’t.”

No, Every Community Isn’t Innocent.

And yes—all communities have a problem with people who prey on children.
This is not unique to us.

But some of y’all treat it like a team sport.
Like if we stop playing his music, it’s some kind of cultural betrayal.
Like calling out abuse means we’re falling for “white systems.”
As if abuse wasn’t here before the courtroom.

Let me say it plain:
*This isn’t about “them.”
It’s about us.
And what we’re willing to tolerate when we already know better.

Black People Face Enough.

We are already carrying systems of oppression.
We are already raising children in hostile conditions.
We are already fighting for peace, freedom, healing, and joy.

So why not pull this obstacle down ourselves?

Why not refuse to praise unrepentant pedophiles and call it “legacy”?
Why not stop making abuse a softer crime just because the song makes you feel something nostalgic?

Because what he did was not nostalgic for the girls and women who endured it.
And the harm doesn’t end when the music fades.

If you want healing in this community, then stop silencing victims.
Stop gaslighting people who say they’re uncomfortable.
Stop defending him and calling it culture.

Some of us are done pretending.
And I say this with love:

You don’t have to agree with me. But don’t be shocked when the next generation refuses to clap along and rightfully calls this an ancient toxic stronghold.

We are choosing truth.
We are choosing children.
We are choosing legacy that doesn’t cost somebody else’s health, wellness, body, family, and life.

R Kelly and all that has come out about him-even from his own child- represents the worst of childhood. Childhoods and lives were lost and damaged because of his direct or indirect impact. 

Malcolm Jamal Warner and what continues to flow forth about his character represents the best of childhood.  Childhoods and lives were made better because of his direct and indirect impact. May he rest in peace and power!

……..And may everyone continue to grow to understand the difference.