The Conversation That Keeps Missing the Point on Violence Against Women
People direct public anger toward groups that may have hurt or failed them. That reaction is human. But it can stop the conversation at the surface.
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🛑 When “Being Nice” Becomes Dangerous: Reclaiming Boundaries After Trauma
The Very Idea
For years, people walked all over my boundaries.
And I let them.
Not because I didn’t care.Not because I wanted mistreatment.
I l [...]
Whispers of Harm: The Global Agreement Against Victims
from WESurviveAbuse.com
They’ve never met.Different languages.Different countries.Different customs.But somehow—they all agree.
There is a global a [...]
When “Separation” Isn’t Safe: Why Women Need More Space, Not Less
A locked door matters more than a long explanation.
If a woman has to bargain, soften her voice, calculate moods, or time her movements [...]
From Koketia King to Lisa Marie Riley: The Danger Didn’t End. It Just Changed Addresses.
In 2010, Florida boxer Yathomas Riley was arrested after his then-girlfriend, Koketia King, was shot in the head inside his Miami apartment.Riley clai [...]
What is Going on with Social Media Influencers and Domestic Violence?! Part 2
Hell is Truth Seen Too Late.
Thomas Hobbeselink.io | See Original
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Living in Hiding: Why Survivors Change Their Names to Stay Alive
For some women, "deadnaming" is a strange concept. Deadnaming is said to be when someone refers to a transgender person by their birth name (the name [...]
🚩 5 Signs You’re Facing Control Disguised as Concern
1. They Center Their Comfort Over Your Safety
If your boundary causes them to feel uncomfortable, they try to make you feel guilty for protecting you [...]
What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions
There was a time when America believed a slogan could solve a crisis.
The Just Say No campaign told people:
Just say no to drugs.
Simple. Clear. Re [...]
“The Forgive and Overlook Habit”: Why the Crisis of Child Predators Isn’t Going Anywhere
The crisis of child predators isn’t going anywhere. Unless the adults change our harmful ways and change them right away.
Because the pressure has al [...]
Why Is It So Easy to Find Men Willing to Silence a Woman? (w/related TikTok creator story)
You are not special, shiny, or goat-adjacent because you get verbally aggressive towards women around sports. As an advocate, I grew to despise "big g [...]
.jpg "What About Your Friends and Domestic Violence: RIP to the Courageous Tyshika Askins")
What About Your Friends and Domestic Violence: RIP to the Courageous Tyshika Askins
Eye-Opening Conversations So what is a friend to do when another friend is in a violent relationship? How far should she go?Observing conve [...]
Motherhood in the Shadow of Violence
Motherhood has often been romanticized in myths and sentiment, yet the brutal reality remains: for many women, pregnancy and early motherhood are hig [...]
“I Told Her” Is About You—Not the Victim
Let’s talk about it.
When a woman is harmed—physically, emotionally, spiritually—one of the most common things we hear is:“I told her.”“I war [...]
Violation is the Crime (Post Compilation)
I know everyone is short on time. So here's a post compilation.
One of the biggest obstacles to getting judges, attorneys, and political leaders to g [...]
We Called It Rape Culture for a Reason. And That Reason Still Exists
There was a time when we named things clearly.
We called it rape culture.
Not to be provocative. Not to shock. Not to divide.
But to survive.
We u [...]
🧨 The Dangerous Oversight in Some “Alternative Justice” Conversations
In the push for restorative or alternative justice, one painful reality is too often left behind:
👉🏾 Victims have a right to safety.
Not imagined [...]
Predators Don’t Play by the Same Rules
There’s something deeply dangerous about how we’re taught to think about harm—and especially about the people who cause it.
We’re told:“If someone wa [...]
Unbalanced: Society Polices Women and Pardons Men
We still live in a world where people -including women- nitpick women for their personal choices —
what they wear,whether they worship,whet [...]
Unlearning Loyalty to Those Who Ask You to Lie
“Power borrowed from fear never lasts"
There comes a time when your soul grows too heavy to carry the weight of someone else's lies.
At first, i [...]
No, Feminists Didn’t “Give Up a Happy Home.” We Fought to Escape a Cage
And the walls of that cage were built with silence, shame, and sanctioned suffering.
There’s a dangerous myth floating around like perfum [...]
Beyond Forgiveness: A Call for Justice, Healing, and Accountability
Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to [...]
🎯 Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understand—they're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
When a Woman Is Talking About Risk Are We Busy Handing Out Character References?: 11 Signs
updated from April 21, 2026
Her Fear Is Not Yours to Edit
The women and children whom society listens to the least suffer the most intense, [...]
Are You Feeding Narcissistic Supply?
Narcissists hunger to have their needs met. If you’re in a close relationship with a narcissist, they expect you to supply them. The term “ [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
50 Times We Walked Past You—Our Hair Not to Your Liking, But We Were Dying Inside
updated March 27, 2025
You saw our hair.
Not our fear.Not our exhaustion.Not our grief.Not our pain.
Just our hair.
You formed opinions. Y [...]
You Can’t Unsee What You Survived
They thought if they said sorry enough times,you’d forget how many times they weren’t.
They thought that time would blur the memories,tha [...]
🚩 Entitlement to Women’s Choices Is Misogyny—No Matter Who It Comes From
Some men hear “no” and immediately rewrite the story in their heads:“She just wants bad boys.”“She’ll date someone beneath her, but not me.”“She’s sha [...]
Red Flags in Relationships: Recognizing Silent Signals of Control
updated from January 12 2025Here is when I knew.
I was riding in the car with my date. Our first date.
He picked me up.
He brought me a si [...]
We Are Tired, Not Silent: Honoring the Lives, Holding the Line, and Learning to Carry This Together
Sometimes I feel weak and weary. Like today, and yesterday, and the day before that.This work—this witnessing, this advocating, this holding t [...]
The Numbers Do Not Lie, So Stop Asking Women to Accept Less Safety (UPDATE)
Organizations around the world have been distracted. Consumed with chastising women and pushing us to "be kind". Silencing us. De-platforming [...]
Highlighting Stories Calling for An End to Violence Against Women and Children in 2023 Part 1
There has been debate around Black victims of domestic and sexual violence withdrawing support from writers and creators who choose to ridicule, [...]
How to Know if an Abuser’s Remorse Is Real
When Survivors hear “I’m sorry,” it can stir hope. How could it not? There's love or at least caring there.
But apologies from abusers [...]
🕯️ For Those Who Never Reported: We See You
There are so many reasons Survivors don’t report.And not one of them makes your story less true.
Some of you were children, trying to survive another [...]
I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song
originally published 2/8/ 2016At First I Was Afraid... When we have been wounded we must heal. To do that, I think we all use a combination of&n [...]
Why People Should Stop Asking Survivors of Abuse “Why Now?”
Let's get in the habit of allowing people to survive the impact of harm first.- Tonya GJ Prince
When it comes to domestic and sexual violence, mo [...]
FALSE! FAKE! FRAUD!: Some of Us Have Seen This Before
I'm learning that many of us who lived through the 1970's, 1980's, & 1990s psychiatric and abuse scandals see many of today's social issues [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, “Now’s not the time.”They say, “It’s not that serious.”They say, “Be the bigger person.”They say, “Other people have it worse.”
And just li [...]
Unmasking Abuse by Proxy
Abuse by proxy isn’t only used by individuals—it is also wielded by organizations, well funded interest groups, corporations, religions, and (politi [...]
Stop Analyzing Her. Start Asking Why He’s Allowed to Harm Her.
Every time a woman is abused, here comes the chorus:“Why doesn’t she just leave?”“She must have low self-esteem.”“She picks the wrong men.”“She’ [...]
“Not This Person” Is Old Reputation Management — And We’ve Fought This Before
Domestic violence advocates have been here before.
For decades, advocates fought a very specific lie.Not loudly at first.But relentless [...]
20 Affirmations and A Note for Those Who Feel Troubled by What They’re Seeing.
Until we choose to have honest, difficult conversations about sexual violators and those who cause harm, they will continue to multiply.
Silence prot [...]