When Chaos Is a Weapon: How Some Partners Use Crisis to Control You
And why you’re not “mean” for wanting peaceIt starts with a bad decision.Maybe a DUI.Maybe losing another job.Maybe a fight with the [...]
The Cost of Agreeability: How We Uphold the Barriers We Think We Are Fighting
I've served the women who responded to violence and were facing harsher punishment than any man would have for the same crime. No one was willing to h [...]
When Violence Across the Globe Escalates, Who Supports Victims of Domestic Violence?
As conflict, violence, mass shootings, and other acts of terrorism increase, it puts a great strain on all relationships-business and personal. & [...]
.png "For Women and Children, Indefinitely Going Along to Get Along is One of the Most Dangerous Strategies in the World")
For Women and Children, Indefinitely Going Along to Get Along is One of the Most Dangerous Strategies in the World
Many of us have had to "go along to get along" for a little while,but pushing for it indefinitely and just "hoping for safety"is d [...]
When “Nothing Will Happen” Isn’t a Safety Plan: Asking About Real Safeguards
“If your confidence turns out to be misplaced, what protections exist for the people expected to absorb the consequences?”When certainty replaces [...]
The Silent Scream: Women Murdered by Their Gay or Bisexual Husbands, and the World’s Indifference
The real problem is violence, especially, a very specific strain of violence that seems destined to remain unanalyzed and u [...]
Visibility Isn’t Safety. And Representation Isn’t Protection.
We were told more women in power would mean more safety for all women.We were told that when women rise, we all rise.But too many of us are still in [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, “Now’s not the time.”They say, “It’s not that serious.”They say, “Be the bigger person.”They say, “Other people have it worse.”
And just li [...]
Listen to Women: Domestic Violence Survivor Story | Kathy Hiller
More than ever, people from left all the way through to the right, men AND women are attempting to silence the voices of women and girls and bri [...]
.png "Believing Everyone Plays Fair? Here’s How It Backfires (Infographic)")
Believing Everyone Plays Fair? Here’s How It Backfires (Infographic)
Believing everyone respects boundaries is a hopeful but dangerous assumption in a world where power dynamics, intent, and experiences vary great [...]
When Belonging Breaks: Surviving in Truth When Cultures Defends Abusers
I get when some groups defend some aspects of abusers. I've slipped (more than once) and done it too. I'm a human.I still have a duty to push bac [...]
“Not This Person” Is Old Reputation Management — And We’ve Fought This Before
Domestic violence advocates have been here before.
For decades, advocates fought a very specific lie.Not loudly at first.But relentless [...]
I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song
originally published 2/8/ 2016At First I Was Afraid... When we have been wounded we must heal. To do that, I think we all use a combination of&n [...]
Silencing Is Always the First Strike
Survivors of violence—whether in war zones or in personal life—often face silencing first.
Before the bruise,before the strike,before the world sees [...]
Celebrity Trials, Silencing, and the Spectacle of Misogyny
Let’s talk about what we should be learning from these celebrity court cases—about abuse, about loyalty, and about truth.
Time and again, we see wo [...]
A Mother Daughter Team Teaching Lessons on Teen Dating Violence: Carolyn Mosely and Ortralla Mosely (Resting in Power)
During a
season of speaking to youth about teen dating violence, I decided that I needed
to tell them about young people just like them.After [...]
The Magic Trick: How Grooming Feels in the Beginning
They welcome you in with warmth, with open arms. They set the table with love, dignity, and safety—just long enough for you to believe it's real [...]
🧨 The Dangerous Oversight in Some “Alternative Justice” Conversations
In the push for restorative or alternative justice, one painful reality is too often left behind:
👉🏾 Victims have a right to safety.
Not imagined [...]
The Algorithms are Watching Her, Too: Coercive Control in the Digital Age
Technology didn’t invent abuse—it just made it harder to escape.
She didn’t hand him a knife.She handed him a password.She didn’t give him permission [...]
Not So Good Reasons to Date a Person
Coercion: Women and Girls Do Not Owe You Access to Them | WE Survive AbuseTHIS is The TRUTH About Dating Preferences & Inclusion | WE Surviv [...]
What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence
Updated 8 21 2025
original March 2016About sixteen years ago, I was sitting in service while Pastor Lance Watson preach [...]
10 Rights of Survivors When An Abusive Person Dies
"Be a good girl"😡
We are indeed all the villain in someone's story. We are all flawed and imperfect. But there are degrees to this.
[...]
Failure to Listen to Women Is the Red Flag
We talk a lot about red flags.But let’s be honest.Refusing to listen to women? That’s the first red flag.
It doesn’t always come with shouting or sla [...]
Lena Baker: The Innocent Woman America Executed | True Story of Injustice and Redemption
You have no business waiting for anyone to tell you that you are in danger.
Believe yourself the first time.
⚖️ Lena Baker: Sh [...]
When “I Am” Becomes a Demand
“I am…”Two of the most powerful words a person can speak.
In the right hands, they build identity.They anchor us in truth.They tell the world who we’ [...]
Who Gets Believed Without Footnotes?
People closest to power.
Belief, in our world, is not evenly distributed. It flows along familiar lines—toward those whose voices already sound “righ [...]
They Know What They’re Doing: Why Abusers Target Neurodivergent People—Especially in Love
Let’s talk about something that far too often stays in the shadows:
Abusers know what they’re doing.And many of them actively seek out people they [...]
65 Beliefs Some Men Hold About Women: Control, Boundaries, and the Fight for Choice
For some women, these beliefs work just fine. And I believe in ladies choice. Women should have what they want.
If you like it, I love it—so long a [...]
Black History Month Means Honoring the Humanity of the Women Who Loved Us Here (Musical Playlist Included)
updated from 2/2/ 2025 Without Black women, the miracles of
Black history would not be possible.
So much of who I am, I ow [...]
Rest in Peace and Power Detroit Nurse Latricia Green
Phillip Lewis, Ross Jones, and other journalists have kept this very tragic story alive even through the tragedies and chaos of our days so that we [...]
They Weren’t Just Controlling—They Were Consuming
Survivors often face: the coercion to disappear inside someone else’s reflection.
Some people weren’t looking for love.They were looking for someon [...]
What Happens When Women Fully Stop Performing Labor For the Male Gaze?
Words That Tried to Tame WomenFor generations, women have been shamed into labor — emotional, physical, spiritual — through language that sounds o [...]
💔 Why Didn’t I Leave Sooner?
Abuse is confusing.
It’s not constant — it shifts.Abusive people are not abusive all the time.
That’s what makes it so complicated.When [...]
Book: Beat Face, The Story of Surviving Myself and My Abuser
This author and I follow one another on social media. I once complimented her for being "chameleon" like. Her look changes and she becomes [...]
When the Harm Comes for Us First: Updates on the Megan Thee Stallion Case
Black women have always been expected to endure harm quietly, yet blamed when we finally speak it plainly. The updates around Megan Thee Stallion remi [...]
You Were Never Meant to Carry What He Refused to Unpack
For the woman who’s been told her standards are too high—stand taller.
Sister,Let’s tell the truth today.
They say:“That’s just how men are.”“ [...]
“Why Do We Treat Male ‘Change’ Like a Sacred Revelation Instead of a Responsibility?”
A man "changes".Why do we women receive this as our "marching orders"?Do men do this? NO. They treat our changes and transformations as our pe [...]
Phrases People Use to Silence….the Harmed (video)
Have WE Discussed Child Predators Today? (video clip) | WE Survive AbuseWomen Should Try Being Kind to Other Women Too | WE Survive AbuseHow to [...]
.png "Graduation Season Brings a New Season of Hope in Combatting Domestic Abuse")
Graduation Season Brings a New Season of Hope in Combatting Domestic Abuse
Heartfelt condolences to the loved ones of all of these persons who have been senselessly taken from this life.It is graduation season.I'm excit [...]
The Hidden Danger: How Abusers Stalk Their Victims Even from Behind Bars
This post is dedicated to the memory of Donasia Alexus Holloway 🕯Music artist Megan Thee Stallion has filed a restraining order against rapper To [...]
Male Access Supremacy: When Entitlement Disguises Itself as Equality
There is a belief too many refuse to name—because to name it would reveal the lie.
It is the belief that:“No space should ever be off-limits to [...]
Harm-Jacking: When Your Pain Becomes Someone Else’s Weapon
There have always been obstacles—but there have also always been real ones by our side, standing strong with us to rise above with them.
It’s been [...]