selling us the cure for the recklessness they are quietly enabling.”…….

Honored to share another expert piece from The Way She Came on Substack…….

Some of us read this post over and over again!

Education. Information. Self-Preservation

What you are about to read comes from lived experience, clinical reality, and a level of honesty that is becoming harder to find in public spaces. It speaks to what many women—especially Black women—are quietly navigating, questioning, and carrying without enough clear, grounded information to support them.

The post on Substack comes from a nurse who has lived and worked through the height of the AIDS crisis and is now witnessing a new shift—one that many people are not talking about plainly.

This thought-warming piece breaks down what is happening at the intersection of modern HIV prevention, changing sexual behavior, and the real-life risks facing women—especially Black women.

It speaks to:

• how PrEP, while powerful, is being misunderstood and over-relied on
• how condom use is quietly declining
• how the message of “undetectable = untransmittable” is sometimes being used in ways that remove women’s ability to make informed choices
• how deception, silence, and entitlement continue to place women at risk
• and why Black women are still disproportionately impacted, often within relationships that are assumed to be safe

It does not deal in surface-level reassurance.
It deals in what is being seen, lived, and experienced in real time.

This is not about stigmatizing people. This is about health care.

Anytime Black women encounter health care we owe it to ourselves to ask more questions and make sure that we understand.

That we are very clear about the risks.

That we understand our responsibility.

The answers we are receiving to our questions are grounded in integrity and concern for our health, safety, and well-being.

Gratitude and appreciation to the Black Femicide Prevention Coalition for sharing this valuable information on Facebook. 

The post A Nurse Speaks: What They’re Not Telling Black Women About PrEP, Trust, and Risk appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

This use of blackface (actually carrying it out by smearing yourself. Not debating, as we all do. Actually mocking & dehumanizing Black people in an attempt to demonstrate that mocking & dehumanizing people is wrong?) to make a point about boundaries…..I Am People! I am a person. 

is tired, foolish, and immature.

It is a disgraceful, childish spectacle.

We have all seen children make their points using better tactics.

Black women have not been silent about it, and yet...

Anytime a boundary is set…
anytime someone says, “No, this is not okay”…
suddenly the conversation shifts.

“Well, Black women are suffering…”

And just like that, the air changes.

—

Let’s be clear about what is happening here.

Black women’s pain is being pulled into the room
not to be honored…
but to be used.

Used as a shield.
Used as a deflection.
Used as a way to say:

“Take this. Be quiet. There are bigger problems.” 

—

That is not solidarity.
That is not awareness.
That is not care.

That is pressure.

—

Because now the message becomes:

If you speak up, you are insensitive.
If you hold your boundary, you are selfish.
If you object, you are ignoring suffering.

So the choice presented is a cruel one:

> Accept the disrespect
> or be cast as someone who doesn’t care about pain

That is a false choice.

—

Black women’s suffering is real.

It is deep.
It is layered.
It is historical and present at the same time.

It deserves attention.
It deserves protection.
It deserves truth spoken without hesitation.

But hear this clearly:

> Black women’s suffering is not a tool.
> It is not a talking point to win arguments.
> It is not a weapon to silence other people’s boundaries.

—

Fire and rain.

That’s what this feels like.

Fire—because the harm is sharp, immediate, undeniable.
Rain—because it keeps falling, over and over, in ways that wear you down if you don’t name it.

—

You are allowed to hold both truths at once.

You can care deeply about Black women.
You can advocate, protect, and uplift.

And you can still say:

“No. This is not acceptable.”

Without apology.
Without comparison.
Without being dragged into someone else’s framing.

Because boundaries are not disrespect.

They are clarity.
They are self-respect.
They are protection in real time.

—

And let this be said plainly:

  I ain’t your doormat. You can get anywhere you are trying to go without wiping your feet on me. 

It is possible to improve your position, argument, and strategy without resorting to mockery and buffoonery that targets Black women.

We will not allow Black women to be used this way.

Not as symbols.
Not as shields.
Not as silence.

It’s not about saying one group is flawless and another isn’t.
It’s about recognizing what people reach for under pressure.

Because once Blackface enters the conversation:

• the focus shifts away from the actual issue

• people get pulled into defending or condemning the tactic

• the original point gets buried

People who are not Black being judge and jury on what that feels like ……betrayal.

Blackface is not neutral. It is tied to:

• Mockery
• Dehumanization
• Entertainment built on humiliation

So when it shows up today—even in “activism”—it carries that same energy.

You do not get to decide how I feel about that.

How about respecting that boundary on the way to campaigning for respect for your boundaries?

You pretend that you “need” to participate in blackface to make a point about women’s rights and create a divide?

There is no trust. There is no unity. There is nothing. You choose not to see me as a person…..too. 

If a Black woman has to walk alone, she will. Powerfully.

We will speak truth with care.
We will hold boundaries with strength.
And we will refuse the lie that one must be sacrificed for the other.

—

*PS. Stop pretending that there is “universal care and concern” about how people feel about blackface. Anti-blackness and racism in general haven’t been defeated. Battles have been won. Obstacles have been overcome.  People are still fighting against unnecessary ignorance. 

**PSS….we have supported others in making points about girls’ safety in boundaries. There is no requirement to agree on all things, but being non-racist in your assertions isn’t a high bar, and yet……..

Again, the verbal debate over blackface, comparisons….whatever.

But smearing yourself? Using the very tools of dehumanization to argue against…dehumanization?

Organizing across cultures is more respectful.

🔥 Affirmations 

• I honor Black women without allowing our pain to be used as a tool.

• I do not allow my identity or anyone else’s to be turned into a prop.

• I move with respect—for myself and for others.

• Women’s rights do not require tawdry performance to be understood.

• I recognize when something feels off, and I trust that knowing.

• I do not need theatrics to stand in truth.

• I recognize when pain is being used instead of honored.

• I am allowed to protect my space without apology or performance.

• I do not need to shrink my truth to prove my compassion.

• I hold clarity even when the conversation tries to shift.

• I do not accept false choices disguised as moral pressure.

• I see the difference between care and control.

The post If Your Argument Needs Blackface, It’s Already Weak and Shifty appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

Patriarchy is not just a system of laws. It is a ghost we keep alive by feeding it. In this video, I explore the concept of patriarchy as a “Stealth Egregore”—a self-sustaining psychological pattern that survives not through our consent, but through our compliance. We often think of fighting misogyny as a loud, external battle. But what if the most effective resistance is quiet? What if the system collapses the moment we simply stop carrying its weight? We discuss the psychology of internalized misogyny, the “shock absorber” role women are conditioned to play, and three concrete ways to withdraw your energy from the system.

The post The Patriarchy’s Secret Weakness | Why Withdrawal Works (video by Therese) appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

“You know good and well that a boundary never did a damn thing to you.

But a male has every potential to AND be excused for doing it.

Because he is a male.

Tale as old as time.”

Tonya GJ Prince

We are living through a time when children—especially girls—are being taught something deeply dangerous:

That having boundaries is “hate.”

That discomfort is “hate.”

That asking questions is “hate.”

And that girls should silence their instincts in order to prove they are “good” or “inclusive.”

That lesson is not kindness.
It is conditioning.

And it puts girls at risk.

Girls Are Being Told to Override Their Own Safety Instincts

Across schools, online spaces, and public conversations, many girls are receiving the same message:

If you feel uncomfortable, you are the problem.

If you question a situation that involves privacy, nudity, or personal space, you are hateful.

If you want to understand what is happening so you can assess your safety, you are intolerant.

In other words:

No questions allowed.
Just be quiet and deal with it.

For any child—especially a girl learning to navigate the world—this is an extremely dangerous lesson.

Safety begins with awareness.
Awareness begins with questions.

Discomfort Is Not Hate

Even in traditional spaces like locker rooms, many girls and women have never felt fully comfortable being partially or fully nude around others.

That reality has always existed.

Some women are modest.
Some have experienced past violations.
Some simply prefer privacy.

None of that is hatred.

The expectation that women and girls must feel comfortable being partially nude, fully nude, or emotionally exposed in front of another person—no questions asked— is not compassion.

It is coercion.

When someone demands your comfort without your consent, that is not inclusion.

That is pressure.

And pressure around bodies and boundaries has always been a warning sign.

This Pattern Is Not New

History is full of moments where girls were told:

• Don’t question authority

• Don’t make others uncomfortable

• Don’t create conflict

• Don’t embarrass anyone

In other words: don’t defend yourself.

Millions upon millions of women carry memories of what happened when their discomfort was ignored, dismissed, or mocked.

That is why teaching girls to trust their instincts matters so deeply.

Preparing Girls for Reality

When I posted about this topic online, another woman raised an important point:

There has always been resistance when girls begin to set boundaries.

Girls who say “no” are often labeled difficult.

Girls who ask questions are labeled rude.

Girls who protect themselves are labeled hateful.

This pattern has existed for generations.

Which means our responsibility is clear.

We must prepare girls for it.

What Girls Need to Know

Girls deserve to grow up knowing:

• Their safety instincts are valuable.

• Discomfort is information, not wrongdoing.

• Questions are part of protecting themselves.

• Boundaries are healthy.

• Their bodies belong to them.

Most importantly:

They must know that safe adults will stand with them when they say no.

Real Diversity Does Not Erase Boundaries

Authentic diversity does not require people to abandon their values, beliefs, or sense of safety.

Real diversity brings people with different beliefs and experiences into shared spaces with respect.

Harmony does not mean takeover.

And inclusion does not mean that girls must surrender their privacy, dignity, or bodily autonomy.

Women and girls are entitled to boundaries wherever they live their lives:

• In schools

• In locker rooms

• In doctor’s offices

• In workplaces

• In their homes

• In their communities

Health and safety are not negotiable privileges.

They are basic human rights.

A Difficult Truth

Some of the strongest enforcers of diminished boundaries for women and girls are sometimes other women.

That reality is painful.

But it is also understandable.

Many people have been taught for years that silence is kindness and that compliance is virtue.

Some have been conditioned so effectively that they now believe defending girls’ boundaries is wrong.

Even so, the responsibility remains the same.

Protect girls anyway.

Teach them anyway.

Stand with them anyway.

Because every generation of girls deserves to grow up knowing something simple and powerful:

Their safety matters.
Their dignity matters.
And their “no” is enough.

Am I Selfish for Setting Boundaries? (audio) | WE Survive Abuse

Sex-Based Bill of Rights for Women and Girls (FREE download) | WE Survive Abuse

18 Signs You May Not Be as Pro-Woman as You Believe You Are | WE Survive Abuse

How Male Violence Taught Women & Girls to Attack One Another (audio) | WE Survive Abuse

The post When Girls’ Boundaries Are Rebranded as “Hate” (featuring Boundary Setting video from Dr. Tracey Marks) appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

When a crisis emerges somewhere in the world, voices appear demanding that Black women:

• organize
• educate
• protest
• comfort
• mobilize

The tone is often urgent. Sometimes aggressive. Occasionally, laced with insults or accusations.

As if Black women caused the problem.
As if we built the systems being criticized.
As if we enslaved nations, colonized continents, or declared wars across the globe.

History tells a very different story.

Black women have spent generations trying to help societies move away from violence, injustice, and exploitation. Many have risked their lives doing so.

Yet even while that history exists, a strange contradiction continues.

Our labor is demanded, but our leadership is questioned.

We are invited into the work, but not always into the decision-making.

We are kept in the field, but rarely welcomed at the strategy table.

And while the world demands more labor, there are issues Black women have been raising for decades that remain quietly ignored.

Here are ten of them.

1. Violence Against Black Women
Black women have been sounding the alarm about violence in their communities for generations.

Not only violence from strangers.

But violence in homes, workplaces, and institutions.

The cover-up narrative is, “No one wants Black women, but that has ALWAYS been a lie used as a speed bump to stall searches, investigations, and finding the true culprits.”

Too often, these warnings were minimized, dismissed, or treated as private matters (ownership, our children, our servant) rather than public safety concerns.

2. The Disappearance of Black Women and Girls
For years families have searched for missing daughters, sisters, and mothers with little media attention.

Black women were speaking about this issue long before national campaigns finally began acknowledging it.

Even now, many cases receive limited coverage.

3. The Adultification of Black Girls
Black girls are often treated as older than they are.

They are expected to be tougher, more mature, and less innocent than other children.

This leads to harsher punishment in schools and less protection when harm occurs.

Black women have been pointing out this pattern for decades.

4. Medical Dismissal and Maternal Health
Black women frequently report that their pain is not taken seriously by medical professionals.

This reality has contributed to higher maternal mortality rates and delayed diagnoses.

Black women have been raising these concerns long before recent headlines acknowledged the crisis.

5. Economic Exploitation
Black women work at some of the highest rates of any demographic group in the United States.

Many support extended families while navigating wage gaps and limited access to capital.

Their labor sustains communities, yet their economic needs often receive less policy attention.

6. The Emotional Labor Expected of Black Women
Across workplaces, families, and movements, Black women are often expected to stabilize environments during crisis.

They are asked to mediate conflicts, mentor others, and repair damage.

Yet the emotional toll of that constant responsibility is rarely acknowledged.

7. The Silencing of Black Women Who Tell the Truth
When Black women speak directly about injustice, they often encounter labels meant to silence them.

Words like:

“angry”
“difficult”
“divisive”

Even, “hateful” and “bigoted” if you dare to speak truth.

These labels distract from the issues being raised and discourage others from listening.

8. The Myth of Endless Strength
Strength is frequently praised in Black women.

But that praise sometimes becomes an excuse to overlook their needs.

People celebrate resilience while ignoring exhaustion, grief, and vulnerability.

Strength without care becomes another form of burden.

9. The Expectation That Black Women Will Save Everyone
There is a strange assumption in many conversations that Black women must respond to every global crisis.

The expectation appears quickly:

Speak up.
Organize.
Educate others.
Fix this problem too.

But Black women did not design the systems responsible for many of these problems.

Yet they are repeatedly asked to clean them up.

And they still would not have voted for Harriet Tubman

10. The Refusal to Recognize Black Women’s Leadership
Perhaps the most frustrating reality is this:

Black women have offered solutions for generations.

They have written, organized, taught, and led movements that expanded democracy and human dignity.

Yet excuses continue to appear whenever leadership roles are discussed.

Black women are welcomed as workers.

But too often denied the authority to guide the direction of the work.

And they still would not have voted for Ida B. Wells

A Truth That Needs to Be Said
Black women have spent generations trying to move societies toward justice.

Calling for:

• safer communities
• stronger families
• dignity for workers
• protection for children
• accountability for violence

Those are not small contributions.

Those are foundations for healthy societies.

And yet the pattern remains:

Demand the labor.
Question the leadership.

That contradiction deserves to be examined honestly.

A Different Question
Perhaps the conversation should begin somewhere else.

Instead of asking Black women to carry more responsibility for problems around the world, people might begin by asking:

What are Black women saying about the conditions where they live?

What concerns have they been raising for decades?

What wisdom has already been offered?

Because communities grow stronger when they listen to those who have been warning them the longest.

The post Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

updated from November 18 2025

If the harm is sex-specific, the language has to be sex-specific.
Especially for Black women.
Especially in maternal health.

Black women have always understood the power of naming. (My own mother adorned me with a name that has deep symbolic and guiding light meaning. We talked about it often throughout my childhood. Wings for the treacherous journey.)

We insist on saying Black because history taught us that if we don’t name ourselves, the world will not only erase us, they will keep harming us. And repeat. And repeat. And then act as if they did not know it was wrong to harm Black people because you do not like us. Work the cycle.

But when it comes to our womanhood, many of us still hesitate.
We soften.
We widen the circle.
We include everyone—because we were taught that if we didn’t, we were being selfish.

We learned to dim our truth so others would not call us divisive.
We learned to carry everyone else’s struggle on our backs, even when our own bodies were breaking.

But maternal health is not the place to practice self-erasure.
Not when Black women are dying.
Not when our pregnancies, our pain, our losses, and our victories happen inside female bodies, shaped by biology and scarred by history.

Sex-based language is not exclusion.
It is not a lack of generosity.
It is not a failure of solidarity.

It is survival.

It is the clarity we need to protect Black women’s lives.

Why Black Women Must Speak Plainly About Our Womanhood

Our maternal crisis is not random.
It is not generic.
It is not “for everyone.”

It targets us because we are Black and because we are women.

Every single injustice—dismissed pain, misdiagnosis, preventable death, disrespect in labor, unnecessary surgeries—falls at the intersection of our race and our sex.

If we blur either part—Blackness or womanhood—we lose the truth.
And when the truth becomes blurred, the danger becomes invisible.

Black women cannot afford that. 

We Think We Are Being Kind. But Often, We Are Being Conditioned…Again

Black women are trained from girlhood to be caretakers of the whole:

to make room

to soften demands

to never center ourselves

to never speak too specifically about our needs

to never inconvenience anyone

to never be “too Black,” “too female,” or “too particular”

We’ve been shaped to believe that advocating for ourselves is selfish.

But real self-care—the kind Audre Lorde spoke of—is not selfish.
It is self-preservation.
It is political warfare.
It is the courage to say:

I am a Black woman.
My life matters.
My womanhood matters.
My survival matters.
And I do not have to dilute my language to be worthy of care.

This Is Why Sex-Based Language Matters

Pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, postpartum crisis—these are not abstract human experiences.
They are biological events that happen to female bodies.

If we do not name the body, we cannot protect the body.

If we do not say “Black women,” the system defaults to being allegedly “colorblind”—which has never protected us.

If we do not say “maternal health,” the data disappears.

Clear language is not harm.
Clear language is the lifeline.

A Teaching Moment for Anyone Who Truly Wants to Stand With Us

Use the words “Black women.”

Use the words “maternal health.”

Use “girl child marriage“. Who is out here marrying little boys? Boys are being assaulted and harmed and WE are disgusted enough to write and speak about it on the internet that is forever and in person too. BUT who is marrying them, entrapping them, impregnating them, jacking their innocence? Name the harm. Name the harmer.

Use the words “female human bodies” “girl” and “women” when you mean pregnancy. Even when they gasp and call you hateful. The hate is what is happening to women. The hate is the fact that too often grown men are impregnating girls. But all the reasons that we can’t say true words center men’s feelings. 

Don’t replace our reality with vagueness. Refuse.

Don’t make our crisis unsearchable or un-trackable. 

Don’t make our womanhood disappear to be polite.

If you want to help us, name us.

We are not concepts.
We are not footnotes.
We are not categories inside categories.

We are Black women.
And the world must finally learn to care for us as Black women. That’s a beautiful thing. Not something to hide or dilute. Not something unsayable. 

Black women are a divine creation. 

A Rallying Cry for Our Own Souls

This is the self-care Audre Lorde meant:

The moment when a Black woman finally says,
“I deserve to speak plainly about what happens to my body.”

The moment we stop performing softness for others.
The moment we choose clarity over comfort.
The moment we choose survival over silence.

Naming ourselves is not selfish.
It is sacred.

It is protective.

It is how we make sure every Black mother comes home with her baby.

We name us clearly so we can protect us fully.

*** People can name themselves whatever they choose (see how we love), but what we cannot afford to do is allow others to un-name Black women…and then DEMAND and REQUIRE that we do the same.

The post Does Naming Ourselves Hurt Anyone? No. Erasing Us Does. appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

At the 2026 NAACP Image Awards, Jayme Lawson (star of Sinners) provided a powerful, viral critique of how major institutions often confuse “proximity” with “inclusion.” Her comments were centered on the mishandling of a racial slur incident at the BAFTAs a week prior, where a man with Tourette’s Syndrome shouted the N-word while her castmates, Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo, were on stage.

What resonated so deeply with audiences was her distinction between performative presence and institutional protection.

Her Flawless Assertion
Lawson argued that true inclusion is not just about inviting Black people into a space—it’s about the responsibility to protect them once they are there. 

Her most impactful points included: Lawson emphasized that the incident was a failure on two fronts: it failed to protect the Black actors on stage and it exploited the disability of the man with Tourette’s by placing him near a microphone and then broadcasting his tics for “division.”

Lawson’s speech was seen as a masterclass in holding powerful institutions accountable. She shifted the conversation from the individual’s “outburst” to the systemic choices made by producers and networks. By doing so, she highlighted that safety—both emotional and professional—is a non-negotiable component of any genuine diversity and inclusion effort.’

“You want to celebrate our art, but you won’t protect it.” — Jayme Lawson

When institutions stop at the “Black square” (a reference to the 2020 social media trend), they are essentially practicing Aesthetic Inclusion. They want the visual benefit of diversity without the structural “cost” of equity or safety.

The Anatomy of Institutional Failure
To move from a “Black square” to actual safety, an institution has to shift its priority from optics to operations. Minds and hearts must change. Here is how that failure usually manifests:

Safety First: If a woman, person with a disability, minority, young person, etc… cannot report an incident without fearing for their career or physical safety, the “Black square” is a lie.

Authentic Voice: Genuine inclusion means the institution is willing to be uncomfortable. If an organization only listens to marginalized voices when they are saying “thank you,” it isn’t listening.

The “Safety for All” Standard: This requires recognizing that different groups carry different risks. An institution that is “safe” for a white male executive is not inherently safe for a Black woman assistant unless specific protections are built into the foundation. Just because a woman is “kind” does not make her more safe. In fact, placing that burden on her is likely to put her at a higher risk of harm, as we have already seen with women and girls in schools, prisons, and other spaces where the only safety plan was ….”be kind.” “Don’t look.”

The “Betrayal Gap”
The “wonderful” (and devastating) thing about Lawson’s speech was that she exposed the Betrayal Gap: the space between what an institution says it is and how it behaves when a crisis occurs. When the BBC chose not to cut a slur, failed to prepare for the likelihood of the slur, failed to support all people with disabilities in a meaningful way AND failed to address the harm carried by the slurs YET chose to cut a political plea for peace (self-protection), they showed exactly where their values live.

Authenticity isn’t found in a marketing budget; it’s found in the Policy of Safety and Protection. If you invite me to your home or event, it is reasonable for me to expect that you will also be concerned about my safety. At the very least you will not shrug it off. And me being me, I would feel offended if you allowed this to happen to any guest in attendance.

Companies and organizations are going to have to learn how to treat their guests better. ALL of their guests.

This is not new assertion around safety and respect for us. This is the foundation of safety. Awhile ago we made this short….

Inclusion MUST include boundaries and be safe for all by Tonya GJ Prince

The post Stop Calling It ‘Inclusion’ If You Aren’t Providing ‘Safety’ for ALL appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

“Before Obama all was great.”

They are telling lies and there is NO truth residing there.

In 1992, during the presidential campaign, something happened that still echoes in American political strategy.

It became known as “the Sister Souljah moment.”

Sister Souljah is an American activist, author, and public intellectual who rose to national attention in the late 1980s and early 1990s. She was born in New York City and raised in the Bronx.

She also attended Cornell University but she came onto the radar of many early fans of hip hop in the 1990s for her straight ahead and fact-filled criticism of racism that resonated with a lot of us. She was both powerful and empowering. Her 1999 novel, The Coldest Winter Ever became a cultural landmark in urban literature.

The Climate

The early 1990s were tense.

• The beating of Rodney King
• The acquittal of the officers
• The Los Angeles uprising
• Central Park Jogger case of 1989
• 1985 MOVE bombing

Conversations about race, policing, and systemic harm were raw and public.

Sister Souljah, an activist, writer, and cultural figure, had made comments in an interview responding to racial violence. A line was widely quoted in media coverage:

“If Black people kill Black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?” Ooooooh boy! We knew it was coming and all you could do was brace for it. Because in spite of the men saying anything that they wanted to-and going on the wildly popular daytime talk shows to inform us why they felt entitled to keep saying it-she is a Black woman and that is always received differently. 

She later argued the statement was taken out of context and was part of a broader critique about systemic violence and media framing. But the quote circulated heavily.

Clinton’s Speech

At a meeting of the Rainbow Coalition led by Jesse Jackson, a then presidential campaigning/governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton publicly criticized Sister Souljah’s comments. At the Rainbow Coalition. 

He compared her rhetoric to that of white supremacist figures (like David Duke), arguing that inflammatory language should be condemned regardless of who says it. This was strategic and everybody knew it.

Clinton was positioning himself as a “New Democrat” — signaling to moderate and white voters that he would distance himself from what some perceived as radical Black leadership.

It was political theater with calculation behind it.

Sister Souljah’s Response

She did not stay silent and no one expected that she would. 

She accused Clinton of:

• Misrepresenting her words
• Using her as a political prop
• Attempting to prove credibility by publicly rebuking a Black woman

She argued that her broader work addressed violence, economic inequality, and systemic harm — and that singling out one provocative line erased context.

For many Black observers, the moment felt like a public rebuke designed to reassure nervous voters. It felt like a low blow from a man with a lot of power. Like she was disposable. 

Why It Still Matters

The phrase “Sister Souljah moment” entered political vocabulary.

It now means:

A politician publicly criticizing someone from their perceived base to appear independent or moderate.

(I am not saying any names but if you know….you know. It is a playbook that now extends beyond politics. They are not making ‘missteps.’ They are following footprints. It is a call out or shout out across the yard to one another. As they see it, they aren’t even talking to us.)

That strategy has been repeated many times since.

The moment raised bigger questions that still feel alive:

• Who gets quoted out of context?
• Who becomes a symbol?
• Who is sacrificed to prove “balance”?
• What happens when political ambition meets racial tension?

The Deeper Undercurrent

This wasn’t just about one comment.

It was about:

Respectability politics.

Political theater.

• The pressure placed on Black voices to be palatable
• The performance of “toughness” in national campaigns
• The strategic distancing from Black anger during moments of public pain

It also showed how quickly complex conversations about violence can be flattened into headlines.

That moment was not random.
It was deliberate positioning.

And it marked a shift toward a style of politics where rebuking your “own side” became “proof of seriousness.” “But ONLY when Black people, specifically Black women, are the target. Black women, in particular, “should know their place.”

See also when Hugo Chavez said to Condoleeza Rice: “Don’t you mess with me girl.”   He said it in 2006 during his weekly television broadcast after Rice had described Venezuela’s government as destabilizing in the region.

Understanding how Black women are used in politics helps decode modern political strategy.

History leaves fingerprints.
This was one of them.

The post Sister Souljah — The 1992 Moment That Shifted Political Language appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

As Big Brother Legend on X.com says, “I unfollow (Black) people who don’t understand this.”

At this point in my life, I choose to disaffiliate with people who do not want to understand this the same way that I part ways with people who do not want to understand other power imbalances that relate to race, womanhood, children, the elderly and people with disabilities. Not out of a sense ‘moral superiority’ or anything like that.

But I have been on this planet long enough to recognize that such people are a threat to safety, health, well-being, and sanity.

Intentionally or unintentionally. 

The post Why You May Want to Unfollow People Who Willfully Turn a Blind Eye to Power Imbalance appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

The women behind the windows in Amsterdam’s red light district

What’s the Big Deal about Sex Tourism Infographic by Tonya GJ Prince

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