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Gaslighting Isn’t Love: Red Flags Black Women Can Choose to Name Out Loud — and Walk Away From

updated from April 7, 2023 Sometimes they try to make you feel like you're “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “doing too much.” But the truth is:

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updated from April 7, 2023

Sometimes they try to make you feel like you’re “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “doing too much.” But the truth is: when something feels off, it usually is. Gaslighting works by making you doubt your own eyes, your own memories, your own hearts. And for Black women, that confusion hits even deeper — because the world already tells us not to trust ourselves. I’m here to say this clearly: your mind is not broken. Your intuition is not the problem. The problem is the person who keeps twisting reality to stay in control. Keep that in mind. Control is the desired outcome. Control of YOU.

We deserve relationships that don’t require us to shrink, apologize for existing, or sit in silence just to “keep the peace.” Real love does not erase you. Real love does not humiliate you. Real love does not leave you feeling crazy, exhausted, ashamed, or afraid to speak. When you start noticing lies, blame-shifting, rewriting history, or making you feel guilty for having feelings — those are red flags, not “misunderstandings.” That’s your spirit saying, Sis, something here is not safe.

And here’s the part nobody tells us enough: choosing yourself is not selfish. It is sacred.

Walking away is not failure — it is survival wisdom.

You are allowed to protect your peace, your body, your time, your future.

You are allowed to demand honesty, clarity, and respect.

You are allowed to say, “No — I see what’s happening, and I refuse to carry it anymore.”

You are not “too much.” You are not “hard to love.” You are simply done being manipulated. And that is strength rising.


We will never get another you.-TGJP

1 Gaslighting and Red Flags Black Women and Girls Safety- Infographic by Tonya GJ Prince

 “Do not ever apologize for existing or for taking up space in the world.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
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