So many rush to say:“I told her.”“She didn’t listen.”“She should’ve known better.”But this isn’t the moment to center your predictions—It’
Remember and Never Forget Missing and Murdered Native and Indigenous Women
So many rush to say:
“I told her.”
“She didn’t listen.”
“She should’ve known better.”
But this isn’t the moment to center your predictions—
It’s the moment to open your ears.
Because the most important thing is not what you told her.
It’s what she can tell you.
What she can teach you about:
How manipulation works
How fast love can turn to control
How charm and violence can wear the same face
How silence was once the safest choice
How shame, isolation, fear, money, culture, and children all complicate leaving
How even the strongest people can get caught in a trap that was built long before they arrived
You think you know? Be careful.
Even the best of us don’t know it all.
The best domestic and sexual violence victim advocates and activists are not just teachers.
They are teachable.
They are humble enough to say:
“I thought I understood this.
But your story showed me something I missed.”
“I didn’t realize it could happen that way.
Thank you for trusting me with that truth.”
“What do you need right now?
I’m listening.”
Listening to victims is how WE learn.
Listening to victims is how we sharpen our strategies.
Listening to victims is how we create better systems.
Listening to victims is how we fight back—not just against one abuser, but against the whole culture of abuse.
If we don’t listen, we miss it.
If we don’t listen, we repeat it.
If we don’t listen, we teach others to stay silent too.
There is always more to learn.
You might know policy.
You might know red flags.
You might know what happened last time.
But no one on this planet knows everything there is to know about domestic violence.
It changes.
It hides.
It evolves.
It wears new disguises.
That’s why we stay teachable.
That’s why we keep listening.
So the next time you want to say “I told her…”
Pause.
Instead, try:
“Tell me what you’ve learned.
Tell me what you need.
Tell me how I can stand beside you now.”
Because Survivors carry wisdom that can change the world—
if we are humble enough to listen.
#WeSurviveAbuse
#ListenToSurvivors
#BeTeachable
#NotWhatYouToldHer
#SurvivorWisdom
#LearnFromHer
