✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com Not all control looks like yelling, threats, or bruises.Sometimes, it shows up in the words you're allowed to use—or forbidde
✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
Not all control looks like yelling, threats, or bruises.
Sometimes, it shows up in the words you’re allowed to use—or forbidden to say.
Sometimes, it hides in tone policing, forced nicknames, and quiet punishments for speaking truth.
It may feel small… but it’s not.
When someone tries to control your language, they are inching toward control of your reality.
❓ Ask Yourself…
1. Do they require you to call them something that makes them feel powerful?
“Call me Daddy.”
“Only refer to me as King.”
“Say yes, sir.”
“Don’t call me by my first name.”
You’re being directed to feed their ego or reinforce a power dynamic—not engage in mutual respect.
2. Do they punish or shame you if you don’t say it?
Do they withdraw love?
Get angry?
Give the silent treatment?
Accuse you of being disrespectful?
This is not about a harmless preference.
It’s about obedience.
3. Do they prohibit you from using their real name?
“Don’t ever use my full name in public.”
“You only call me what I tell you to call me.”
This takes away your autonomy to relate to them as a peer and replaces it with a forced script.
4. Do they refuse to let you choose how you’re addressed?
Do they mock your name or chosen identity?
Insist on nicknames you’ve asked them not to use?
Tell you that you’re being too sensitive when you express discomfort?
Everyone deserves the dignity of being called what they want to be called. That’s a boundary. Not a request.
💬 Why This Feels So Hard to Talk About
You might feel uncomfortable saying anything.
“It’s not that serious.”
“They probably didn’t mean it that way.”
“I don’t want to seem rude.”
But here’s the truth:
Your discomfort is a signal.
Not a weakness. Not a flaw.
It’s your body’s way of saying: This isn’t sitting right with me.
⚖️ You Have the Right To:
Speak your truth without being punished.
Call people by names that feel honest and respectful—not forced.
Set boundaries around how others speak to—or about—you.
Change the conversation when it’s used to confuse, silence, or control you.
🕯 Your Words Belong to You
You were not born to be someone else’s puppet, prop, or performance.
If someone tries to take ownership of your voice, they are chipping away at your identity.
Language is one of the first tools of liberation.
You get to reclaim it.
🔥 Reclaim What Is Yours
You are not “too sensitive.”
You are not imagining things.
You are not wrong for noticing the shift in the room when your truth starts to rise.
Your voice is sacred.
Your discomfort is divine wisdom.
Your truth is not up for negotiation.
Anyone who demands silence in exchange for love, or obedience in exchange for safety, is not offering you love—they’re offering you a cage.
You deserve more.
You deserve relationships where you can say your name, speak your truth, and still be safe.
You deserve to be called by what honors you—not what diminishes you.
You deserve to take up space—in word, in breath, in being.
Let this be your reminder:
You have the right to speak.
You have the right to correct.
You have the right to define yourself.
And you are worthy of relationships where your voice does not need to shrink to survive.
Keep your truth. Keep your name. Keep your power.
And never again let anyone put a leash on your language.
✦
WeSurviveAbuse.com
