Betrayal Blindness: When Your Brain Protects You… by Lying to You

Let’s talk about something real.

Have you ever looked back at a situation and thought—”Wait… that wasn’t okay. That was messed up“?

Maybe it was a parent who “loved you so much” but scared the life out of you.
Maybe it was a partner who “never laid a hand on you” but broke your spirit daily.
Maybe it was a teacher, coach, preacher, or friend who “meant well” but taught you to ignore your gut.

But in the moment?
You didn’t run.
You didn’t scream.
You didn’t even flinch.

You smiled. You stayed.
You made excuses.
You forgot.

That, my friend, might be something called betrayal blindness.

🧠 What Is Betrayal Blindness?

💬 Dr. Jennifer Freyd, a giant in trauma psychology, coined the term.
It means:

You may be unaware of abuse, betrayal, or harm—because your brain is protecting your connection to someone you needed.

It’s not that you’re “stupid” or “naive.”
It’s that your brain is smart. Too smart, actually.

Your survival depended on closeness, not clarity.

🤯 How It Shows Up

• You forget what happened—or twist it into something kinder.
  (“He was just stressed.” / “She did the best she could.”)

• You protect the one who hurt you.
  (Even if it means throwing yourself under the bus.)

• You feel disoriented, foggy, or ashamed when you try to speak your truth.

• You minimize your pain so you don’t lose love, security, or belonging.

😳 Why Would Anyone Do That?

Because sometimes it’s safer (for a while) to pretend nothing’s wrong.

Kids do it. Adults do it.
Even whole communities do it.
Why? Because the truth is dangerous in a world that punishes people for naming harm.

🛑 But Here’s the Problem

What protected you back then can imprison you now.

Betrayal blindness might’ve helped you survive.
But unhealed, it’ll make you:

• Trust the wrong people

• Silence your own voice

• Call red flags “normal”

• Stay in cycles you never chose

🔥 Important Insights

Let’s get this straight:
You may not have lied to yourself because you’re “broken.”
Perhaps, you lied to yourself because you were trying to survive in a world that wouldn’t protect you.

But today? You’re waking up.

✨ Reclaiming Your Sight

You’re allowed to:

• Remember what happened.

• Call it what it was.

• Be angry.

• Grieve.

• Heal.

You are not here to carry the weight of someone else’s comfort.

You are here to get free.

🙌 Final Word

If this resonates, you’re not broken.
You’re becoming aware. And awareness is the first step to liberation.

📚 Credit to Dr. Jennifer Freyd for naming this truth:

“Betrayal blindness” helps us survive—but truth helps us live.

---

✨ Affirmations for When the Truth Begins to Return to You

• I honor the wisdom of my younger self. She did what she had to do to survive.

• I am allowed to remember now. The truth belongs to me.

• Even when I didn’t speak it, I knew something was wrong. That knowing was my strength.

• My silence was not weakness—it was strategy. Now I choose when and how I speak.

• I release the need to protect people who harmed me.

• I will not shame myself for what I couldn’t face then. I survived the unfaceable.

• I am building a life where the truth is safe, not dangerous.

• There is no timeline for seeing clearly. My clarity arrives right on time.

• I trust myself to feel what I feel, remember what I remember, and grow in my own way.

• I no longer confuse loyalty with silence. I am loyal to my healing now.

• My voice is rising. My vision is sharpening. My spirit is returning home to me.

• Today, I walk in truth—not because it’s easy, but because I deserve to be free.

Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs.
And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.

[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]