Creating a Safety Plan: Essential Steps for Protecting Yourself from Stalking and Harassment

When faced with stalking, harassment, or any form of abuse, having a safety plan is a vital step toward reclaiming control and ensuring your well-being. A safety plan isn’t just a list of emergency contacts—it’s a personalized, strategic guide that helps you protect yourself, both physically and digitally.

For survivors, safety planning can mean the difference between feeling trapped and feeling empowered. It allows you to think through possible scenarios and prepare proactive steps to stay safe, regardless of the situation. Whether you are at home, at work, or online, safety planning offers peace of mind and practical tools to navigate potentially dangerous circumstances.

Why Safety Planning Matters

Stalking and harassment aren’t just inconveniences—they’re serious violations that can escalate quickly. According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have experienced stalking that made them feel fearful or concerned for their safety. When abusers use technology to harass or stalk, the threat can feel even more invasive and persistent.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. With a well-thought-out safety plan, you can protect your privacy, safeguard your emotional well-being, and stay one step ahead of those who try to control or harm you.

Below, you’ll find a comprehensive guide on how to create an effective safety plan tailored to your unique situation.

1. Personal Safety Planning

A. Emergency Contacts and Safe Locations

• Identify Trusted People: Make a list of people you trust who can help you in an emergency. This might include friends, family members, neighbors, or coworkers.
• Create a Safe Word: Establish a code word to use with trusted people to signal when you need immediate help.
• Plan Escape Routes: Know the safest exits from your home, workplace, or other frequented locations. Practice these routes if possible.
• Safe Places: Identify safe places you can go if you need to leave suddenly, such as the homes of trusted friends or public places like police stations or shelters.

B. Packing an Emergency Bag

Prepare an emergency bag that includes essentials such as:

• Important documents (ID, birth certificates, legal papers)
• Cash and copies of credit cards
• Medication and personal hygiene items
• Phone numbers to the pharmacy and doctor’s office
• Spare keys for home and car
• A burner phone or charger (to avoid being tracked)
• Bags, black garbage bags, tote bags that you can stuff your things into at a moment’s notice

Keep this bag in a safe place or with a trusted person.

2. Digital Safety Planning

With the rise of technology, digital stalking and harassment have become more common. It’s crucial to take proactive steps to secure your online presence.

A. Secure Devices and Accounts

• Change Passwords Regularly: Use strong, unique passwords for all devices and accounts. Avoid using easily guessed information like birthdays or pet names.
• Enable Two-Factor Authentication: This adds an extra layer of security to your online accounts.
• Check Devices for Spyware: Stalkers often use spyware to monitor their victims. Run regular security scans and check for unfamiliar apps.
• Create New Email Accounts: If you suspect your current accounts are compromised, create new email accounts using secure platforms like ProtonMail.
• Check your vehicle for tracking devices.
• Stay current on the latest tracking devices.

B. Social Media Safety

• Limit Location Sharing: Turn off location services on social media apps. Avoid posting real-time updates of your whereabouts.
• Review Privacy Settings: Make your accounts private and limit who can view your posts or contact you.
• Block and Report Abusers: If you’re being harassed online, don’t hesitate to block the abuser and report their account to the platform.
• Google Yourself: Search your name to see what information is publicly available and request removal where necessary.

3. Legal Safety Planning

Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to your legal rights. Consider the following steps:

A. Protective Orders

• Restraining Orders: What You Need to Know

  A restraining order is a legal tool that can prohibit an abuser from contacting or approaching you. It gives law enforcement the authority to intervene more quickly if the order is violated. However, it is important to recognize that a restraining order is ultimately just a piece of paper. Its effectiveness depends on enforcement and the abuser’s willingness to comply.

  Some survivors have found safety and peace of mind through a restraining order, while others have experienced increased danger after seeking one. Every situation is unique. As a survivor, you are the expert on your circumstances. Trust your instincts and make the decision that feels safest for you.

  There are no easy answers, and no one-size-fits-all solution. The real issue lies in society’s need to create better systems of protection and support for survivors of abuse. Until then, the choice to pursue a restraining order is deeply personal, and it’s okay to weigh the risks and benefits before deciding what’s best for you.

•  Cyber Harassment Laws: Digital stalking is a crime. Familiarize yourself with your state’s laws on cyber harassment and stalking.
• Document Everything: Keep records of any harassment or stalking, including screenshots, emails, and voicemails. These can serve as evidence in legal proceedings. You may want to keep copies (or even originals) with a trusted adult.

B. Collaborate with Law Enforcement (If you feel safe to)

• Inform Local Authorities: Notify local law enforcement of the situation, even if you don’t pursue legal action immediately. This creates a paper trail. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to sit in court and watch a victim’s claims of violence be dismissed because she never contacted law enforcement so “it couldn’t have been that bad”.
  

  Even though studies indicate that a significant number of women do not report domestic violence incidents to law enforcement. For instance, a 2014 study across the European Union found that only 14% of women reported their most serious incident of intimate partner violence to the police.

  Wikipedia

  Similarly, data from the National Crime Victimization Survey in the United States reveals that approximately 52% of domestic violence incidents are reported to law enforcement, meaning nearly half go unreported.

  USA Facts

  The reluctance to report can stem from various factors, including fear of retaliation, belief that the police may not help, or viewing the matter as personal.

  In many African countries, a significant number of women do not report incidents of domestic violence to the police. For instance, in Nigeria, a study conducted in Ilorin revealed that while many women confide in family and friends about their abuse, few choose to file reports with law enforcement. This reluctance is often due to fears of victim-blaming, societal acceptance of violence as a normative reaction, and a lack of trust in police intervention. Additionally, cultural taboos discourage involving authorities in family matters, leading to underreporting. Police may also hesitate to intervene unless the abuse exceeds customary levels observed in the region.

  Wikipedia

  Similarly, in rural Egypt, a staggering 80% of women surveyed reported that beatings were common and often justified, particularly if a woman refused to have sex with her husband. Despite the high prevalence of such abuse, reporting rates remain low, influenced by cultural norms and fear of social repercussions

• Know Your Rights: Many states offer crime victim services, including legal advocacy and counseling.

4. Emotional Safety and Support

Stalking and harassment can take a toll on emotional well-being. It’s just as important to protect your mental health as it is to safeguard your physical and digital safety.

A. Support Systems

• Reach Out for Support: Connect with trusted friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional support and encouragement.
• Professional Counseling: Consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist specializing in trauma and abuse recovery.

B. Empowering Yourself

• Self-Care Practices: Prioritize activities that help you feel calm and grounded, such as meditation, journaling, or exercise.
• Reclaim Your Power: Practice affirmations or mindfulness techniques to counteract feelings of helplessness.

5. Resources for Help and Support

You don’t have to navigate this alone. There are many organizations dedicated to helping survivors of stalking, harassment, and domestic violence.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org
• Stalking Resource Center: Visit victimsofcrime.org for resources on stalking.
• Privacy Rights Clearinghouse: Learn more about protecting your digital privacy at privacyrights.org

Your Safety Matters

Stalking, harassment, and abuse are serious violations that no one should have to endure. Creating a safety plan is an empowering step that allows you to take back control and protect yourself in every aspect of your life.

You deserve safety, dignity, and peace. If you or someone you know is facing harassment or abuse, reach out for help. You are not alone.