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	<title>Abuse of Power Archives - WESurviveAbuse</title>
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		<title>The Lynching of Assault Victim Marie Scott: How Slavery’s Logic Still Shapes Our Lives</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-lynching-of-assault-victim-marie-scott-how-slaverys-logic-still-shapes-our-lives/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Mar 2026 12:34:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Justice is Authentic Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Legal/Courtroom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TRUTH]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violence Against Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22458</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There is no clean ending to something that was never fully confronted.  Ending violence, abuse, and harm requires us to tell the truth without dilution. Generational harm requires intentional repair, not passive hope. Slavery did not just extract labor. It rewired how a nation decided who counted as human. That kind of damage does not [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-lynching-of-assault-victim-marie-scott-how-slaverys-logic-still-shapes-our-lives/">The Lynching of Assault Victim Marie Scott: How Slavery’s Logic Still Shapes Our Lives</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote class="tiktok-embed" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@ashleytheebarroness/video/7622391974280187167" data-video-id="7622391974280187167">
<section><span style="font-size: 14pt;">There is no clean ending to something that was never fully confronted.  Ending<img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="wp-image-22459 alignright" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-400x227.png" alt="" width="438" height="248" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-400x227.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-650x369.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-250x142.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-768x436.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-150x85.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse-800x454.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Angela-Davis-quote-on-public-amnesia-wesurviveabuse.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px" /> violence, abuse, and harm requires us to tell the truth without dilution.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/playing-victim-how-racism-silences-black-voices-and-blocks-true-healing-in-america/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Generational harm requires intentional repair, not passive hope.</strong></span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/sally-hemings-the-founding-father-and-the-silence-he-bought/">Slavery did not just extract labor</a>.</strong> It rewired how a nation decided who counted as human. That kind of damage does not expire on its own. It mutates. It adapts. It learns how to survive in new language, new laws, new systems.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/only-2-owned-slaves-slavery-and-slaveholding-in-the-united-states-facts-part-3/">First it was ownership.</a> Then it became control.&#8217;</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/why-the-last-recorded-lynching-is-not-the-same-as-the-last-lynching/">Lynching was not history</a>. It was a warning that echoed forward.<img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-20262" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-400x267.jpg" alt="" width="419" height="279" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-400x267.jpg 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-650x433.jpg 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-250x167.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-768x512.jpg 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse-150x100.jpg 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Things-Racists-and-abusers-say-on-any-given-day-wesurviveabuse.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 419px) 100vw, 419px" /></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>After slavery, terror became a tool of enforcement.</strong> Lynching was not random violence. It was public spectacle. It sent a message without needing a courtroom. It told Black communities, clearly and brutally, that their lives could be taken without consequence. That fear was policy, even when it was not written down.</span></p>
<h2 class="big-title resizable-text title"><a href="https://calendar.eji.org/racial-injustice/mar/31"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">White Mob Lynches Marie Scott in Wagoner County, Oklahoma </span></a></h2>
<p>Excerpt from EJI.org:</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>The Associated Press wire report and accounts published by Northern papers explained that the group of white men had ventured into the Black residential area to sexually assault Black women and attempted to rape Marie Scott. According to some of these accounts, Marie stabbed Pierce in self-defense; in others, Marie&#8217;s brother killed Pierce in an effort to defend her, and Marie was only arrested and lynched because her brother escaped.</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em> Local press reports, on the other hand, did not say anything about why the white youth were in the Black neighborhood or what they did while there and simply claimed that Marie Scott stabbed Pierce unprovoked and in cold blood.</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>For generations of Black women, racial terror included the constant threat of sexual assault and a complete lack of legal protection. </em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>The same communities that lynched and legally executed Black men for the scarcest allegations of sexual contact with white women regularly tolerated and excused white men’s inappropriate attacks against Black women and girls.</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>&#8220;Given this history, Marie Scott may have been among the many Black women targeted for sexual violence during this era by white men who knew that they would face no judgment or consequences for rampaging her community.</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>Whether she acted in her own defense or was protected by her brother, Marie Scott died at the hands of a mob, the victim of a society that devalued her life and body; deprived her of the chance to defend herself at trial; and denied her the right to be free from rape, terrorism, and racial violence.&#8221;</em></span></p>
<hr />
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/they-loved-ms-foxy-just-fine-until-she-spoke-truth/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>There is no expiration date on unaddressed harm.</strong></span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Then <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/jim-crow-and-the-erasure-of-black-womanhood/">Jim Crow</a> stepped in to formalize what terror had already enforced.</strong> Segregation was not just about separation. <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/jim-crow-was-about-stripping-boundaries-not-setting-them/">It was about hierarchy.</a> It was about making sure one group moved through the world with dignity, while another was <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/lets-make-it-plain-jim-crow-and-sex-based-boundaries-are-not-the-same-thing/">forced to navigate humiliation as a daily condition of life.</a></span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Society has a responsibility to repair, not just acknowledge.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Redlining followed</strong>. No chains. No burning crosses. Just maps. Policies. Decisions made behind desks that quietly determined who could build wealth and who would be locked out of it. Neighborhoods were not just shaped. Futures were.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>We have a responsibility to examine systems, not just individuals.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>And then came mass incarceration.</strong> A system that does not need to say what it is doing out loud because the outcomes speak clearly enough. Entire communities over-policed, over-sentenced, and under-protected. Lives interrupted. Families fractured. Generations rerouted.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Policing without trust is control, not safety</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Policing, in too many places, reflects this same pattern.</strong> Not as protection, but as pressure. Not as service, but as surveillance. Communities are told they are being kept safe while simultaneously being treated as a threat. That contradiction is not confusion. It is design.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Justice delayed across generations becomes injustice normalized</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>This is not a timeline with a finish line. It is a pattern.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Dehumanization is not always loud. Sometimes it looks like neglect. Sometimes it looks like indifference. <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/forced-sterilization-wasnt-a-mistake-it-was-misogyny-and-racism-working-together/">Sometimes it hides behind policy that claims neutrality while producing predictable harm.</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">What started as a justification for slavery became a lens.<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/malcolm-x-wisdom-when-lies-become-the-environment-safety-disappears/"> And that lens still influences who is seen as dangerous, who is seen as disposable, and who is given the benefit of the doubt.</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If you want to understand impact, do not just look at history.<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/5-truths-about-why-the-masculinization-of-black-women-is-not-transphobic/"> Look at outcomes.</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Look at who is more likely to be stopped, searched, denied, underfunded, displaced, or disbelieved.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Look at how often pain is questioned instead of addressed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Look at how systems respond differently depending on who is standing in front of them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is not accidental. <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/safety-requires-strategy-not-just-being-nice/">It is inherited.</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And inheritance, if left unchallenged, becomes identity.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Here is the truth many people try to soften:<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/this-is-not-confusion-it-is-memory-black-women-language-and-the-right-to-self-definition/"> harm that is not repaired does not disappear. It compounds.</a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It shows up in health disparities. In wealth gaps. In education access. In housing instability. In the constant, quiet calculation of safety that some people must make every day.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Dehumanization is not just about what was done. It is about what continues to be allowed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">So the question is not whether slavery ended. The question is whether the logic that sustained it ever truly did. <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-blurry-woman-how-society-forgets-the-definition-the-moment-we-ask-for-rights/">Without confrontation, dehumanization evolves</a>. It does not retire.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because healing does not come from pretending something is over. It comes from deciding, collectively and consistently, that it will not be allowed to continue.</span></p>
<hr />
</section>
<section></section>
<section><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a title="@ashleytheebarroness" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@ashleytheebarroness?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@ashleytheebarroness</a> I’m glad they said it. I am. But the ones that couldn’t even bring themselves to say it? …yeah. that’s doing something to me. <a title="unitednations" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/unitednations?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#unitednations</a> <a title="crime" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/crime?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#crime</a> <a title="slavery" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/slavery?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#slavery</a> <a title="historytok" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/historytok?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#historytok</a> <a title="fyp" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#fyp</a> <a title="♬ original sound - Ashley" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7622392025299651359?refer=embed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">♬ original sound &#8211; Ashley</a></span></section>
</blockquote>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><script async src="https://www.tiktok.com/embed.js"></script></span></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-lynching-of-assault-victim-marie-scott-how-slaverys-logic-still-shapes-our-lives/">The Lynching of Assault Victim Marie Scott: How Slavery’s Logic Still Shapes Our Lives</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<title>Black Truth-Telling on Violence Was Never the Problem</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/black-truth-telling-on-violence-was-never-the-problem/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Mar 2026 07:36:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advocates/Activists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Global Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Herstory/History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Misogyny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Political Action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RED FLAGS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SPEAK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TRUTH]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22371</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; &#8220;I&#8217;ve never seen or heard of anything like this!&#8221; &#160; Black people have been telling the truth about violence for a long time. Not for attention. Not for spectacle. Not to be labeled. But so that more people could live peaceful, joyful, violence-free lives. That was the intention. And still is. The Record Was [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/black-truth-telling-on-violence-was-never-the-problem/">Black Truth-Telling on Violence Was Never the Problem</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em><span style="font-size: 14pt;">&#8220;I&#8217;ve never seen or heard of anything like this!&#8221;<img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-22373" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-400x600.png" alt="" width="233" height="350" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-400x600.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-650x975.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-250x375.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-768x1152.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse-150x225.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Sending-truth-while-the-sun-is-out-wesurviveabuse.png 800w" sizes="(max-width: 233px) 100vw, 233px" /></span></em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/her-story-isnt-about-weakness-its-about-knowing-who-cant-be-trusted/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black people have been telling the truth about violence for a long time.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not for attention.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not for spectacle.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not to be labeled.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But so that more people could live peaceful, joyful, violence-free lives.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/rosa-parks-a-stealth-strategist-against-deceit-manipulation-and-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That was the intention.</span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And still is.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Record Was Never Hidden</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Long before hashtags.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Long before public debates.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Long before people argued over what words to use—</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">the stories were already here.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl</strong> — a young girl naming sexual coercion by a man in power.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Roots</strong> — families torn apart, women exploited, power operating in the open.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Cane River</strong> — generations shaped by unequal power, quietly documented and traced through bloodlines.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Color Purple</strong> — abuse inside the home, normalized and endured.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Bluest Eye</strong> — a harmed child, and a community that could not protect her.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Corregidora</strong> — memory preserved when systems erased evidence.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/lena-baker-the-innocent-woman-america-executed-true-story-of-injustice-and-redemption/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Lena Baker Story</strong></span></a></p>
<p><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/affirming-television-moments-when-the-women-tore-down-the-wall/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Women of Brewster Place</strong></span></a></p>
<p><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/%f0%9f%8c%bfjosephine-baker-she-refused-the-limits-placed-on-her-body/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Josephine Baker Story</strong></span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Dorothy Dandridge Story</strong></span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/rosa-parks-a-stealth-strategist-against-deceit-manipulation-and-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Rosa Parks Story</strong></span></a></p>
<p><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/%f0%9f%8c%a4%ef%b8%8fclarity-after-chaos-grief-and-rain/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>A Raisin in the Sun</strong></span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>For Colored Girls</strong> — layered violence that many recognized immediately.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>I May Destroy You</strong> — modern language for harm that has always existed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Surviving R. Kelly</strong> — Survivors speaking for years before power was challenged.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Central Park Five</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Selma</strong></span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/rosa-parks-a-stealth-strategist-against-deceit-manipulation-and-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>The Rosa Parks Story</strong></span></a></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sinners</span></strong></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Get Out</span></strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Do the Right Thing</strong></span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/candyman-movie-murder-ruthie-mae-mccoy-was-the-woman-no-one-listened-to/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Candyman</strong></span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/they-want-us-only-in-the-streets-but-we-carry-resistance-everywhere/">The Jeffersons, Sanford and Son, Good Times..</a>&#8230;.</strong></span></p>
<hr />
<h2 data-section-id="1mxec1k" data-start="232" data-end="288">Foundational Black Feminist Works on Violence &amp; Power</h2>
<ul data-start="290" data-end="672">
<li data-section-id="x9l556" data-start="290" data-end="421">
<p data-start="292" data-end="421"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Ain’t I a Woman? Black Women and Feminism</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="329" data-end="332" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Connects slavery-era sexual exploitation to modern systems of harm against Black women.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="zrmtkk" data-start="540" data-end="672">
<p data-start="542" data-end="672"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Sisters in the Wilderness</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="579" data-end="582" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Uses the story of Hagar to explore sexual exploitation, survival, and spiritual meaning.</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2 data-section-id="1oi1a3u" data-start="679" data-end="725">Violence Against Black Women (Direct Focus)</h2>
<ul data-start="727" data-end="1198">
<li data-section-id="t92d49" data-start="727" data-end="857">
<p data-start="729" data-end="857"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Arrested Justice: Black Women, Violence, and America’s Prison Nation</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="766" data-end="769" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Shows how systems criminalize Black women while failing to protect them from violence.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1pir2la" data-start="859" data-end="975">
<p data-start="861" data-end="975"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Compelled to Crime</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="898" data-end="901" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Examines how abuse and coercion push women into criminalized situations.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1si2w4v" data-start="977" data-end="1073">
<p data-start="979" data-end="1073"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Invisible No More: Police Violence Against Black Women and Women of Color</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="1016" data-end="1019" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Documents state violence and lack of accountability.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="ivj5rn" data-start="1075" data-end="1198">
<p data-start="1077" data-end="1198"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">At the Dark End of the Street</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="1114" data-end="1117" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Shows how sexual violence against Black women shaped the Civil Rights Movement.</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<hr data-start="1200" data-end="1203" />
<h2 data-section-id="pralgj" data-start="1205" data-end="1238">Structural &amp; Systemic Analysis</h2>
<ul data-start="1240" data-end="1574">
<li data-section-id="bhzbob" data-start="1240" data-end="1353">
<p data-start="1242" data-end="1353"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Killing the Black Body</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="1279" data-end="1282" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Examines control over Black women’s reproduction and bodily autonomy.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="54sb9r" data-start="1355" data-end="1466">
<p data-start="1357" data-end="1466"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Medical Apartheid</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="1394" data-end="1397" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Documents medical exploitation and experimentation on Black bodies.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="sgw57y" data-start="1468" data-end="1574">
<p data-start="1470" data-end="1574"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Fearing the Black Body</span></span></strong></span><br data-start="1507" data-end="1510" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Traces how anti-Blackness shapes standards, control, and harm.</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<hr data-start="1576" data-end="1579" />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">How many songs and lyrics&#8230;&#8230;.</span></p>
<p data-start="2383" data-end="2436"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across all of these works, you see a consistent throughline:</span></p>
<ul data-start="2438" data-end="2566">
<li data-section-id="grel0t" data-start="2438" data-end="2464">
<p data-start="2440" data-end="2464"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Violence is not random</strong></span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1grecby" data-start="2465" data-end="2490">
<p data-start="2467" data-end="2490"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-abusers-place-themselves-above-accountability/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Power protects itself</strong></span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1lt1d4w" data-start="2491" data-end="2534">
<p data-start="2493" data-end="2534"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Systems often fail—or punish—the harmed</strong></span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1jofvwn" data-start="2535" data-end="2566">
<p data-start="2537" data-end="2566"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Black women document anyway</strong></span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<hr />
<p><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And Then Came the Pushback</span></strong></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not just new either.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When the truth is told, the response often sounds like this:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/truth-telling-is-not-race-talk-its-course-correction/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>“They’re doing too much.”</em></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>“This is trauma porn.”</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>“They’re playing the race card.”</em></span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%95%af%ef%b8%8f-the-truth-about-victimhood-as-an-insult/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>“That’s victim mentality.”</em></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>“This is just woke.”</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Different words.</span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/narrative-control-one-more-way-survivors-get-silenced/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Same function.</span></a></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%9a%a8-control-of-language-is-a-red-flag-for-abuse-and-many-miss-it/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">To make the truth easier to ignore.</span></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>This Pattern Is Not Unique</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is where the understanding deepens.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because this doesn’t just happen to Black storytellers.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This happens to victims of violence—everywhere.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are questioned.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Their tone is policed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Their experiences are minimized.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Their credibility is challenged.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Before protection ever arrives.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>And Still—The Stories Were Told</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black people did not wait for approval.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They wrote it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">They filmed it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">They spoke it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">They passed it down.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">So that someone, somewhere, could recognize:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is not normal.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is not acceptable.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This has a pattern.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The goal was to make violence visible—so it could be stopped.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And because those records exist,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">we are not starting from zero.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/false-strength-vs-true-safety-what-real-protectors-look-like/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are starting from truth that was already given.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">People talk about this daily online. Are you listening? Are you avoiding the issues? Are you avoiding the truth?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The question now is simple:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Will we all listen—</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">or will we keep renaming the truth until it feels easier to dismiss?</span></p>
<p><em><span style="font-size: 14pt;">&#8220;I&#8217;ve never seen or heard of anything like this!&#8221; </span></em><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Haven&#8217;t you? Are you ready to listen now?</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;<br />
<iframe src="https://elink.io/embed/9f3b017" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen width="100%" height="1000px" false></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/black-truth-telling-on-violence-was-never-the-problem/">Black Truth-Telling on Violence Was Never the Problem</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>How We Stack Burdens on Women and Girls: “Can We” Is Not the Same as “Should We”</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-we-stack-burdens-on-women-and-girls-can-we-is-not-the-same-as-should-we/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2026 13:19:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Civil Rights & Social Justice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Civil Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health and Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violence Against Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Rights]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22358</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There is a question people ask often. “Can we?” Can we do this.Can we allow that.Can we push this boundary further. It sounds reasonable.It sounds neutral. But it isn’t. Because “can we” is about permission.It’s about what is technically allowed. And too often, it skips over something far more important. The Question We Keep Avoiding [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-we-stack-burdens-on-women-and-girls-can-we-is-not-the-same-as-should-we/">How We Stack Burdens on Women and Girls: “Can We” Is Not the Same as “Should We”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p data-start="146" data-end="183"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">There is a question people ask often.</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-22427 size-medium" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-400x267.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-400x267.jpg 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-650x434.jpg 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-250x167.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-768x513.jpg 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-150x100.jpg 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489-800x534.jpg 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/vecteezy_ready-for-the-riot-group-of-banners-with-different-feminist_15196489.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></p>
<p data-start="185" data-end="198"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="185" data-end="198">“Can we?”</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="200" data-end="273"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Can we do this.</span><br data-start="215" data-end="218" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Can we allow that.</span><br data-start="236" data-end="239" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Can we push this boundary further.</span></p>
<p data-start="275" data-end="317"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It sounds reasonable.</span><br data-start="296" data-end="299" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It sounds neutral.</span></p>
<p data-start="319" data-end="332"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But it isn’t.</span></p>
<p data-start="334" data-end="413"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because “can we” is about permission.</span><br data-start="371" data-end="374" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It’s about what is technically allowed.</span></p>
<p data-start="415" data-end="473"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And too often, it skips over something far more important.</span></p>
<hr data-start="475" data-end="478" />
<h3 data-section-id="1e8lq25" data-start="480" data-end="517"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="484" data-end="517">The Question We Keep Avoiding</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="519" data-end="532"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not <em data-start="523" data-end="532">can we.</em></span></p>
<p data-start="534" data-end="548"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="534" data-end="548">Should we.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="550" data-end="630"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Should we move forward with something</span><br data-start="587" data-end="590" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">that increases risk for women and girls?</span></p>
<p data-start="632" data-end="711"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Should we normalize ideas</span><br data-start="657" data-end="660" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">that make it harder for women to name harm clearly?</span></p>
<p data-start="713" data-end="798"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Should we keep expanding boundaries</span><br data-start="748" data-end="751" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">without stopping to ask who absorbs the impact?</span></p>
<hr data-start="800" data-end="803" />
<h3 data-section-id="1w341x6" data-start="805" data-end="840"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="809" data-end="840">Because Someone Always Pays</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="842" data-end="869"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Decisions are not abstract.</span></p>
<p data-start="871" data-end="891"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They land somewhere.</span></p>
<p data-start="893" data-end="982"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And more often than not,</span><br data-start="917" data-end="920" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">they land on the bodies, safety, and lives of women and girls.</span></p>
<ul data-start="984" data-end="1184">
<li data-section-id="1hje4ej" data-start="984" data-end="1035">
<p data-start="986" data-end="1035"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The girl who is told to ignore what feels wrong</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1s48ix2" data-start="1036" data-end="1087">
<p data-start="1038" data-end="1087"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The woman who is expected to “be understanding”</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="fs0n5n" data-start="1088" data-end="1184">
<p data-start="1090" data-end="1184"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The one who is asked to carry discomfort quietly</span><br data-start="1138" data-end="1141" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">so others don’t have to feel challenged</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="1186" data-end="1202"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is not new.</span></p>
<p data-start="1204" data-end="1258"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">What’s new is how often it’s dressed up</span><br data-start="1243" data-end="1246" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">as progress.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1260" data-end="1263" />
<h3 data-section-id="1iy5hwn" data-start="1265" data-end="1302"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1269" data-end="1302">Ability Is Not Responsibility</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1304" data-end="1373"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Just because something can be done</span><br data-start="1338" data-end="1341" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">does not mean it should be done.</span></p>
<p data-start="1375" data-end="1437"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Just because something is possible</span><br data-start="1409" data-end="1412" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">does not mean it is safe.</span></p>
<p data-start="1439" data-end="1571"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And just because a line can be crossed</span><br data-start="1477" data-end="1480" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">does not mean women and girls should be the ones</span><br data-start="1528" data-end="1531" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">expected to live with what happens next.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1573" data-end="1576" />
<h3 data-section-id="1pbhg3c" data-start="1578" data-end="1605"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1582" data-end="1605">A Grounded Standard</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1607" data-end="1721"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Before any change moves forward,</span><br data-start="1639" data-end="1642" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">there is a question that deserves to be asked—clearly, without rushing past it:</span></p>
<ul data-start="1723" data-end="1821">
<li data-section-id="1c9hh9f" data-start="1723" data-end="1740">
<p data-start="1725" data-end="1740"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Who benefits?</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="b3vzn8" data-start="1741" data-end="1767">
<p data-start="1743" data-end="1767"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Who is placed at risk?</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="bobos6" data-start="1768" data-end="1821">
<p data-start="1770" data-end="1821"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Who is expected to adjust, endure, or stay quiet?</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="1823" data-end="1910"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If the answer continues to be women and girls,</span><br data-start="1869" data-end="1872" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">then the conversation is not complete.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1912" data-end="1915" />
<h3 data-section-id="184pz5b" data-start="1917" data-end="1950"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1921" data-end="1950">A Survivor-Centered Truth</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1952" data-end="2043"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women and girls are not the testing ground</span><br data-start="1994" data-end="1997" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">for ideas that have not been fully considered.</span></p>
<p data-start="2045" data-end="2106"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are not the margin of error.</span><br data-start="2076" data-end="2079" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are not the silent cost.</span></p>
<hr data-start="2108" data-end="2111" />
<h3 data-section-id="sfwskf" data-start="2113" data-end="2133"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="2117" data-end="2133">Affirmations</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="2135" data-end="2188"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am allowed to question what is being asked of me.</span></p>
<p data-start="2194" data-end="2255"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I do not accept harm simply because it has been normalized.</span></p>
<p data-start="2261" data-end="2291"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">My safety is not negotiable.</span></p>
<p data-start="2297" data-end="2368"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am not here to absorb the consequences of decisions I did not make.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p data-start="2397" data-end="2438"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The question was never just <em data-start="2425" data-end="2436">“can we.”</em></span></p>
<p data-start="2440" data-end="2510"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The question is—and has always been—</span><br data-start="2476" data-end="2479" /><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong data-start="2479" data-end="2510">“who pays for it if we do?”</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="2516" data-end="2582" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node=""><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="2516" data-end="2582" data-is-last-node="">— WeSurviveAbuse.com | Survivor Affirmations | Tonya GJ Prince</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="2516" data-end="2582" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node=""><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIgzaAmImUM">Retired police chief says Layton officer was ‘over invasive’</a></p>
<p><iframe title="Retired police chief says Layton officer was ‘over invasive’" width="1778" height="1000" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bIgzaAmImUM?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><iframe src="https://elink.io/embed/9f3b017" width="100%" height="1000px" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-we-stack-burdens-on-women-and-girls-can-we-is-not-the-same-as-should-we/">How We Stack Burdens on Women and Girls: “Can We” Is Not the Same as “Should We”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>A Nurse Speaks: What They’re Not Telling Black Women About PrEP, Trust, and Risk</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/a-nurse-speaks-what-theyre-not-telling-black-women-about-prep-trust-and-risk/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2026 08:09:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DECEPTION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Herstory/History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safeguarding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Worth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving Daily]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TRUTH]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Rights]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22336</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;The pharmaceutical industry is profiting off a cycle of deceit, selling us the cure for the recklessness they are quietly enabling.&#8221;&#8230;&#8230;. &#160; Honored to share another expert piece from The Way She Came on Substack&#8230;&#8230;. Some of us read this post over and over again! Education. Information. Self-Preservation What you are about to read comes [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/a-nurse-speaks-what-theyre-not-telling-black-women-about-prep-trust-and-risk/">A Nurse Speaks: What They’re Not Telling Black Women About PrEP, Trust, and Risk</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>&#8220;The pharmaceutical industry is profiting off a cycle of deceit,</em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em> selling us the cure for the recklessness they are quietly enabling.&#8221;&#8230;&#8230;.</em></span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Honored to share another expert piece from The Way She Came on Substack&#8230;&#8230;.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-22341" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-400x574.png" alt="" width="225" height="323" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-400x574.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-650x933.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-250x359.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-768x1102.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-150x215.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2-800x1148.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Self-Preservation-is-self-care-wesurviveabuse-2.png 836w" sizes="(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" /></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Some of us read this post over and over again!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Education. Information. Self-Preservation</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">What you are about to read comes from lived experience, clinical reality, and a level of honesty that is becoming harder to find in public spaces. It speaks to what many women—especially Black women—are quietly navigating, questioning, and carrying without enough clear, grounded information to support them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The post on Substack comes from a nurse who has lived and worked through the height of the AIDS crisis and is now witnessing a new shift—one that many people are not talking about plainly.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This thought-warming piece breaks down what is happening at the intersection of modern HIV prevention, changing sexual behavior, and the real-life risks facing women—especially Black women.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It speaks to:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• how PrEP, while powerful, is being misunderstood and over-relied on</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">• how condom use is quietly declining</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">• how the message of “undetectable = untransmittable” is sometimes being used in ways that remove women’s ability to make informed choices</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">• how deception, silence, and entitlement continue to place women at risk</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">• and why Black women are still disproportionately impacted, often within relationships that are assumed to be safe</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It does not deal in surface-level reassurance.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It deals in what is being seen, lived, and experienced in real time.</span></p>
<p>This is not about stigmatizing people. This is about health care.</p>
<p>Anytime Black women encounter health care we owe it to ourselves to ask more questions and make sure that we understand.</p>
<p>That we are very clear about the risks.</p>
<p>That we understand our responsibility.</p>
<p>The answers we are receiving to our questions are grounded in integrity and concern for our health, safety, and well-being.</p>
<p><em>Gratitude and appreciation to the Black Femicide Prevention Coalition for sharing this valuable information on Facebook. </em></p>
<hr />
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div class="substack-post-embed">
<p lang="en">The False Comfort of a Pill: A Nurse’s Plea to Black Women by The Way She Came</p>
<p><a href="https://thewayshecame.substack.com/p/the-false-comfort-of-a-pill-a-nurses" data-post-link="">Read on Substack</a></p>
</div>
<p><script async src="https://substack.com/embedjs/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p>
<hr />
<p><iframe src="https://elink.io/embed/9f3b017" width="100%" height="1000px" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/a-nurse-speaks-what-theyre-not-telling-black-women-about-prep-trust-and-risk/">A Nurse Speaks: What They’re Not Telling Black Women About PrEP, Trust, and Risk</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/what-just-say-no-taught-us-about-false-solutions/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 11:56:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advocates/Activists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Campus violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Child Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Civil Rights & Social Justice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disabilities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disability and Chronic Illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Domestic Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Domestic Violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Civil Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health and Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female health civil rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Femicide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Herstory/History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Justice is Authentic Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rape]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safeguarding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violence Against Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22286</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There was a time when America believed a slogan could solve a crisis. The Just Say No campaign told people: Just say no to drugs. Simple. Clear. Repeatable. And it failed, failed, failed. Then wakes up in the morning and fails again.  People were substances to the point of self harm and wearing t-shirts that said &#8220;Just [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/what-just-say-no-taught-us-about-false-solutions/">What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p data-start="183" data-end="252"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">There was a time when America believed a slogan could solve a crisis.</span></p>
<p data-start="254" data-end="308"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The <span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Just Say No campaign</span></span> told people:<img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-22288" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-400x600.png" alt="" width="286" height="429" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-400x600.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-650x975.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-250x375.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-768x1152.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer-150x225.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/what-we-can-work-on-to-make-all-women-safer.png 800w" sizes="(max-width: 286px) 100vw, 286px" /></span></p>
<p data-start="310" data-end="331"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Just say no to drugs.</span></p>
<p data-start="333" data-end="363"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Simple. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Clear. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Repeatable.</span></p>
<p data-start="365" data-end="379"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And it failed, failed, failed. Then wakes up in the morning and fails again. </span></p>
<p data-start="365" data-end="379"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">People were substances to the point of self harm and wearing t-shirts that said &#8220;Just Say No&#8221; on the front. </span></p>
<hr data-start="381" data-end="384" />
<h3 data-section-id="1acsiii" data-start="386" data-end="435"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="390" data-end="435">Because the problem was never that simple</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="437" data-end="497"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">People were not using drugs because no one told them not to.</span></p>
<p data-start="499" data-end="520"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They were navigating:</span></p>
<ul data-start="522" data-end="593">
<li data-section-id="1ipwva6" data-start="522" data-end="530">
<p data-start="524" data-end="530"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">pain</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1naqw7v" data-start="531" data-end="542">
<p data-start="533" data-end="542"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">poverty</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="7o07l9" data-start="543" data-end="555">
<p data-start="545" data-end="555"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">pressure</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="159z9x2" data-start="556" data-end="566">
<p data-start="558" data-end="566"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">trauma</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="e98czh" data-start="567" data-end="582">
<p data-start="569" data-end="582"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">environment</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1rgv7f0" data-start="583" data-end="593">
<p data-start="585" data-end="593"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">lack of access to opportunities (intentionally placed obstacles)</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="595" data-end="632"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A slogan could not touch any of that.</span></p>
<p data-start="651" data-end="687"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because the campaign didn’t address:</span></p>
<ul data-start="689" data-end="838">
<li data-section-id="jbmzsi" data-start="689" data-end="722">
<p data-start="691" data-end="722"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">why people turn to substances</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1qj3yl9" data-start="723" data-end="758">
<p data-start="725" data-end="758"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">how environment shapes behavior</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="stvop5" data-start="759" data-end="795">
<p data-start="761" data-end="795"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">what support systems are missing</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="10kause" data-start="796" data-end="838">
<p data-start="798" data-end="838"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">how trauma and instability play a role</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It did not ASK the people, their families, the communities, or healing and treatment providers on the frontlines &#8230;..enough questions.</span></p>
<hr data-start="634" data-end="637" />
<h3 data-section-id="208xfi" data-start="639" data-end="696"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="643" data-end="696">And we are at risk of repeating that same mistake</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="698" data-end="771"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Today, the conversation sounds different, but the pattern feels familiar:</span></p>
<p data-start="773" data-end="814"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">“If we remove porn, women will be safer.”</span></p>
<p data-start="816" data-end="859"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It sounds decisive.</span><br data-start="835" data-end="838" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It <strong>feels</strong> like action.</span></p>
<p data-start="861" data-end="923"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But it is still a surface-level solution to a layered problem.</span></p>
<hr data-start="925" data-end="928" />
<h3 data-section-id="16hb5z5" data-start="930" data-end="959"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="934" data-end="959">We Do Not Defend Porn<img decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-22331" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/1-We-must-support-women-and-girls-in-asserting-no-wesurviveabuse-400x400.png" alt="" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/1-We-must-support-women-and-girls-in-asserting-no-wesurviveabuse-400x400.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/1-We-must-support-women-and-girls-in-asserting-no-wesurviveabuse-250x250.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/1-We-must-support-women-and-girls-in-asserting-no-wesurviveabuse-150x150.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/1-We-must-support-women-and-girls-in-asserting-no-wesurviveabuse.png 543w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="961" data-end="986"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Let that be said clearly.</span></p>
<p data-start="988" data-end="1044"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We see harm.</span><br data-start="1000" data-end="1003" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We see exploitation.</span><br data-start="1023" data-end="1026" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We see distortion.</span></p>
<p data-start="1046" data-end="1130"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But we are not going to pretend that removing content removes the mindset behind it. We have been here before. </span></p>
<p data-start="476" data-end="541"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If porn disappeared tomorrow,</span><br data-start="505" data-end="508" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/pornography-didnt-start-the-fire-a-clear-look-at-history-power-and-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women would not suddenly be safe and out of range of destruction.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="543" data-end="641"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because the danger was never just the content.</span><br data-start="589" data-end="592" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The danger is the mindset carried into the world.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1132" data-end="1135" />
<h3 data-section-id="1c4vk3j" data-start="1137" data-end="1187"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1141" data-end="1187">Because we have already seen this play out</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1189" data-end="1272"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">“Just Say No” focused on desired outcomes. </span><br data-start="1222" data-end="1225" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">while ignoring the conditions that produced it.</span></p>
<p data-start="1274" data-end="1331"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And when the <strong>conditions</strong> remained,</span><br data-start="1307" data-end="1310" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">the behavior adapted.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1333" data-end="1336" />
<h3 data-section-id="uckat8" data-start="1338" data-end="1371"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1342" data-end="1371">The same risk exists here</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1373" data-end="1428"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If porn disappeared tomorrow, but nothing else changed—</span></p>
<ul data-start="1430" data-end="1546">
<li data-section-id="wfvrwo" data-start="1430" data-end="1463">
<p data-start="1432" data-end="1463"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/why-womens-rights-vary-by-state-and-mens-dont-a-breakdown-of-legal-inequality-in-america/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">entitlement to women’s bodies</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1pg8q1z" data-start="1464" data-end="1489">
<p data-start="1466" data-end="1489"><a href="https://rosaschildren.com/10-reasons-taking-from-girls-to-give-to/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">expectation of access</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="8oy2i2" data-start="1490" data-end="1512">
<p data-start="1492" data-end="1512"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/people-dont-just-ignore-red-flags-theyre-protecting-something/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">disregard for “no”</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1c0qkmf" data-start="1513" data-end="1546">
<p data-start="1515" data-end="1546"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%93%a2-hidden-herstory-the-leesburg-stockade-girls/">lack of consequences for harm</a> (especially if the judge believes he/she is looking at a &#8220;bright future&#8221;. As if the victim was not.)</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="1548" data-end="1586"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">—women would not suddenly become safe.</span></p>
<p data-start="1588" data-end="1636"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is because the belief system would still be intact.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1638" data-end="1641" />
<h3 data-section-id="opw5rx" data-start="1643" data-end="1692"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1647" data-end="1692">This is the part we cannot afford to skip</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="1694" data-end="1739"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Safety is not created by removing one outlet.</span></p>
<p data-start="1741" data-end="1770"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is created by confronting:</span></p>
<ul data-start="1772" data-end="1827">
<li data-section-id="uuaa53" data-start="1772" data-end="1781">
<p data-start="1774" data-end="1781"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">power</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1k6oa8f" data-start="1782" data-end="1793">
<p data-start="1784" data-end="1793"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/abuse-isnt-about-rage-its-about-control/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">control</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="s1ulfn" data-start="1794" data-end="1808">
<p data-start="1796" data-end="1808"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">permission</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1ypyl6z" data-start="1809" data-end="1827">
<p data-start="1811" data-end="1827"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">accountability</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="1829" data-end="1884"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across homes.</span><br data-start="1842" data-end="1845" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across institutions.</span><br data-start="1865" data-end="1868" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across cultures.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1886" data-end="1889" />
<h3 data-section-id="1f51yi8" data-start="1891" data-end="1945"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/why-blaming-porn-alone-wont-end-violence-against-women/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="1895" data-end="1945">Especially for the women most often overlooked</strong></span></a></h3>
<p data-start="1947" data-end="1986"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because surface solutions rarely reach:</span></p>
<ul>
<li data-section-id="4twefm" data-start="1988" data-end="2010">
<p data-start="1990" data-end="2010"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women who are poor<a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/%f0%9f%8c%bf-she-was-not-handed-ease-she-built-something-anyway/"> or come from a background where poverty was reality</a></span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="lvhuge" data-start="2011" data-end="2038">
<p data-start="2013" data-end="2038"><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/%f0%9f%8c%ba-frida-kahlo-she-lived-in-a-body-that-hurt-and-still-created-beauty/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women with disabilities</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="qozts4" data-start="2055" data-end="2090">
<p data-start="2057" data-end="2090"><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/%f0%9f%8c%ba-marielle-franco-she-spoke-even-when-it-was-dangerous-to-speak/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women across the Black diaspora</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="wkdm6o" data-start="2091" data-end="2125">
<p data-start="2093" data-end="2125"><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/vo-thi-sau-%F0%9F%8C%BFshe-was-young-and-still-she-stood/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=vo-thi-sau-%25f0%259f%258c%25bfshe-was-young-and-still-she-stood"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women from many Asian cultures</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1n26jax" data-start="2126" data-end="2146">
<p data-start="2128" data-end="2146"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/10-facts-about-missing-murdered-indigenous-women-girls/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Indigenous women and girls</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="pvwgr6" data-start="2147" data-end="2181">
<p data-start="2149" data-end="2181"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-to-know-youre-not-safe-even-if-no-ones-hitting-you/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women taught to endure quietly</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="pvwgr6" data-start="2147" data-end="2181">
<p data-start="2149" data-end="2181"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/dignity-is-not-bitterness-elder-women-deserve-safety-too/">elderly women</a> and young women too</span></p>
</li>
<li data-start="1928" data-end="1984"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women whose cultures taught them to carry pain quietly</span></li>
<li data-start="1987" data-end="2056"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">women whose “strength” has been used as an excuse to deny them care</span></li>
<li><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-history-is-weaponized-seeing-the-manipulation-clearly-even-on-the-hard-days/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">girls sent from one home to be a &#8220;wife&#8221; to a far too old man in another.</span></a></li>
<li><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/a-woman-centered-truth-about-fgm-we-cannot-abandon/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">girls held down and mutilated without anesthesia for the benefit of some man in the future.  </span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/period-huts-10-disturbing-facts-you-didnt-know-about-this-harmful-practice/">girls sent to period huts because they are menstruating.</a> </span></li>
</ul>
<p data-start="2183" data-end="2248"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If safety only improves for some,</span><br data-start="2216" data-end="2219" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">then it has not been built. Constructed. With a framework and everything. </span></p>
<p data-start="2250" data-end="2271"><a href="https://survivoraffirmations.com/affirming-television-moments-when-the-women-tore-down-the-wall/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It has been rationed.</span></a></p>
<hr data-start="2273" data-end="2276" />
<h3 data-section-id="16m5hy3" data-start="2278" data-end="2317"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="2282" data-end="2317">What actually makes women safer</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="2319" data-end="2371"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not slogans.</span><br data-start="2331" data-end="2334" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not avoidance.</span><br data-start="2348" data-end="2351" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not reduction alone.</span></p>
<p data-start="2373" data-end="2392"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But transformation:</span></p>
<ul data-start="2394" data-end="2576">
<li data-section-id="2r3t7w" data-start="2394" data-end="2425">
<p data-start="2396" data-end="2425"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">teaching that “no” is final</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1rmk01p" data-start="2426" data-end="2464">
<p data-start="2428" data-end="2464"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">removing the expectation of access (for each and every male)</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1w2b96v" data-start="2465" data-end="2495">
<p data-start="2467" data-end="2495"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">listening when women speak</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1kn8inr" data-start="2496" data-end="2540">
<p data-start="2498" data-end="2540"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">respecting boundaries without punishment</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="11tjy6w" data-start="2541" data-end="2576">
<p data-start="2543" data-end="2576"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">enforcing consequences for harm</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="2578" data-end="2630"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across all communities.</span><br data-start="2601" data-end="2604" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not just the visible ones.</span></p>
<hr data-start="2632" data-end="2635" />
<h3 data-section-id="pavdkm" data-start="2637" data-end="2678"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" role="text"><strong data-start="2641" data-end="2678">The truth we already learned once</strong></span></h3>
<p data-start="2680" data-end="2742"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We’ve already tried solving deep problems with simple slogans.</span></p>
<p data-start="2744" data-end="2764"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It didn’t work then.</span></p>
<p data-start="2766" data-end="2787"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It will not work now.</span></p>
<h3 data-section-id="u4uzag" data-start="648" data-end="712"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The real issue is what some men (and women) believe they are entitled to</span></h3>
<ul data-start="714" data-end="895">
<li data-section-id="164r1h1" data-start="714" data-end="742">
<p data-start="716" data-end="742"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Access to women’s bodies</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="xolxwt" data-start="743" data-end="775">
<p data-start="745" data-end="775"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Control over women’s choices</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1xyw9ty" data-start="776" data-end="808">
<p data-start="778" data-end="808"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Authority over women’s lives</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="m0wp1u" data-start="809" data-end="837">
<p data-start="811" data-end="837"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The right to ignore “no”</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="12o663h" data-start="838" data-end="895">
<p data-start="840" data-end="895"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/why-do-men-kill-women/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The expectation that women should absorb harm and violence quietly</span></a></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="897" data-end="953"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Porn can <strong>reflect</strong> these beliefs.</span><br data-start="928" data-end="931" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It can <strong>amplify</strong> them.</span></p>
<p data-start="955" data-end="982"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But it did not <strong>invent</strong> them. </span></p>
<p data-start="955" data-end="982"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="2827" data-end="2925">“You don’t solve harm with a slogan. <br data-start="2865" data-end="2868" />You solve it by changing the conditions that allow it. </strong></span></p>
<hr />
<p data-start="955" data-end="982"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>**Content warning (some descriptions of abuse that may be upsetting)</strong></span></p>
<p><iframe title="GBV experiences of women and girls with disabilities in Zimbabwe - Documentary" width="1778" height="1000" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PwO3JSMq_xM?start=253&#038;feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p><iframe src="https://elink.io/embed/9ad961e" width="100%" height="1000px" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/what-just-say-no-taught-us-about-false-solutions/">What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>There is a Difference Between: &#8220;I Want This and I Do Not Want This&#8221;</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/there-is-a-difference-between-i-want-this-and-i-do-not-want-this/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[TGJP]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2026 02:46:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Body safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Girls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Human Trafficking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[In the News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rape]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SPEAK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/that-time-the-media-blamed-shamed-a-teenage-human-trafficking-victim/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>updated from July 31 2016  Consensual sex and sexual violence are not the same. They are not close.They are not interchangeable.They do not belong in the same sentence without care, context, and understanding. Sexual violence is not casual knowledge.It requires study.It requires experience.It requires deep, careful listening to Survivors and those who have spent years [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/there-is-a-difference-between-i-want-this-and-i-do-not-want-this/">There is a Difference Between: &#8220;I Want This and I Do Not Want This&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="" dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;">
<div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>updated from July 31 2016 </em></div>
<p data-start="297" data-end="349"><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong>Consensual sex and sexual violence are not the same.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="351" data-end="486"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are not close.</span><br data-start="370" data-end="373" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are not interchangeable.</span><br data-start="402" data-end="405" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They do not belong in the same sentence without care, context, and understanding.<img decoding="async" class="alignright size-full wp-image-22224" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Listen-to-lessons-from-victims.png" alt="" width="400" height="267" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Listen-to-lessons-from-victims.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Listen-to-lessons-from-victims-250x167.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Listen-to-lessons-from-victims-150x100.png 150w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></span></p>
<p data-start="488" data-end="674"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sexual violence is not casual knowledge.</span><br data-start="528" data-end="531" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It requires study.</span><br data-start="549" data-end="552" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It requires experience.</span><br data-start="575" data-end="578" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It requires deep, careful listening to Survivors and those who have spent years doing this work.</span></p>
<p data-start="676" data-end="723"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And yet, headlines told a very different story.</span></p>
<blockquote data-start="725" data-end="923">
<p data-start="727" data-end="923"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="727" data-end="785">“Girl, 15, had sex with 25 boys in high school bathroom”</em></span><br data-start="785" data-end="788" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="790" data-end="857">“Parents stunned after girl has sex with as many as 2 dozen boys”</em></span><br data-start="857" data-end="860" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="862" data-end="923">“15-year-old girl caught having sex with 25 ‘willing’ boys”</em></span></p>
</blockquote>
<p data-start="925" data-end="950"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Chile… now how you sound?</span></p>
<p data-start="952" data-end="981"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That question carries weight.</span></p>
<p data-start="983" data-end="1168"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It comes from elders who don’t play about truth.</span><br data-start="1031" data-end="1034" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Translation::</span><br data-start="1043" data-end="1046" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You are out of order.</span><br data-start="1067" data-end="1070" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You are loud and wrong.</span><br data-start="1093" data-end="1096" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You are speaking without alignment, without care, without understanding.</span></p>
<p data-start="1170" data-end="1209"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And that is exactly what happened here.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1211" data-end="1214" />
<h2 data-section-id="1t3u4mp" data-start="1216" data-end="1271"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-see-our-blackness-but-not-our-bruises/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="1219" data-end="1271">What We Know — And What Should Have Been Obvious</strong></span></a></h2>
<h3 data-section-id="12r22c9" data-start="1273" data-end="1312"><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">1. The blame was placed on a child.</span></strong></h3>
<p data-start="1314" data-end="1347"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Every headline centered the girl, but in a negative light that she did not deserve.</span></p>
<p data-start="1349" data-end="1389"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Her</strong> behavior.</span><br data-start="1362" data-end="1365" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Her</strong> body.</span><br data-start="1374" data-end="1377" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Her</strong> choices.</span></p>
<p data-start="1391" data-end="1423"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Meanwhile, <strong>25 boys</strong> were present.</span></p>
<p data-start="1425" data-end="1478"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But somehow, the weight of shame landed on <strong>her</strong> alone.</span></p>
<p data-start="1480" data-end="1526"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That is not reporting.</span><br data-start="1502" data-end="1505" /><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That is conditioning.</span></strong></p>
<p data-start="1528" data-end="1589"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It teaches the public exactly who to blame—and who to excuse.</span></p>
<hr data-start="1591" data-end="1594" />
<h3 data-section-id="gg3yud" data-start="1596" data-end="1630"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">2. The facts were not settled.</span></h3>
<p data-start="1632" data-end="1651"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Writers moved fast.</span></p>
<p data-start="1653" data-end="1662"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Too fast.</span></p>
<p data-start="1664" data-end="1848"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">There was no way to confirm that every interaction was consensual at the time those headlines were published. Investigations involving minors, especially <em data-start="1818" data-end="1836">that many minors</em>, take time.</span></p>
<p data-start="1850" data-end="1882"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/she-went-off-why-women-are-expected-to-stay-calm-while-being-violated/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yes, people speak during crisis.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="1884" data-end="1905"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And we should listen.</span></p>
<p data-start="1907" data-end="2032"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But real understanding often comes later—</span></p>
<p data-start="2079" data-end="2153"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The girl did not have sexual contact with 25 boys.</span><br data-start="2129" data-end="2132" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Many were spectators.</span></p>
<p data-start="2155" data-end="2198"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That alone should have stopped the presses.</span></p>
<hr data-start="2200" data-end="2203" />
<h3 data-section-id="o9tqxb" data-start="2205" data-end="2261"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">3. Experts were missing where they were needed most.</span></h3>
<p data-start="2263" data-end="2294"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is where the harm deepens.</span></p>
<p data-start="2296" data-end="2387"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sexual violence is not a guessing game.</span><br data-start="2335" data-end="2338" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is not something you “figure out” mid-article.</span></p>
<p data-start="2389" data-end="2412"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Where were the <strong>experts?</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="2414" data-end="2531"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Where were the professionals trained to recognize<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%e2%9d%93-faq-what-do-terms-like-gaslighting-emotional-abuse-grooming-and-coercion-really-mean/"> coercion</a>, group dynamics, exploitation, and trafficking indicators?</span></p>
<p data-start="2533" data-end="2568"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because what looked like a “story”…</span></p>
<p data-start="2570" data-end="2593"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/where-coercion-is-the-law-truth-cannot-live/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">…was actually a crisis.</span></a></p>
<hr data-start="2595" data-end="2598" />
<h2 data-section-id="qcp14r" data-start="2600" data-end="2631"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="2603" data-end="2631">What Was Missed Entirely</strong></span></h2>
<p data-start="2633" data-end="2676"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/coercive-sex-trafficking-what-people-dont-understand/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The girl was a victim of human trafficking.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="2678" data-end="2691"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Let that sit.</span></p>
<p data-start="2693" data-end="2799"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">While headlines were being written</span><br data-start="2727" data-end="2730" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">while clicks were being gathered</span><br data-start="2762" data-end="2765" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">while narratives were being shaped</span></p>
<p data-start="2801" data-end="2854"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/complacency-around-violence-and-abuse-a-longtime-foe-against-women-and-children/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A trafficked child was being framed as a participant.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="2856" data-end="2931"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not a <em>victim.</em></span><br data-start="2869" data-end="2872" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not <em>someone in danger.</em></span><br data-start="2894" data-end="2897" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not<em> someone in need of protection.</em></span></p>
<p data-start="2856" data-end="2931"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">She did not need help&#8230;.right? Unworthy?</span></p>
<p data-start="2933" data-end="2947"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A participant.</span></p>
<p data-start="2949" data-end="2977"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That is not just inaccurate. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That is harmful. That is inhumane.</span></p>
<hr data-start="2997" data-end="3000" />
<h2 data-section-id="c6v8ex" data-start="3002" data-end="3048"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="3005" data-end="3048">And Now She Has to Live With That Story</strong></span></h2>
<p data-start="3050" data-end="3084"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A girl. A person. A human being. She still has to walk into school.</span></p>
<p data-start="3086" data-end="3108"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">People still remember.</span></p>
<p data-start="3110" data-end="3169"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not<strong> her</strong> truth—</span><br data-start="3124" data-end="3127" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">but the version of her that was broadcast.</span></p>
<p data-start="3171" data-end="3267"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">No name was printed.</span><br data-start="3191" data-end="3194" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But reputations don’t need names when communities can fill in the blanks.</span></p>
<hr data-start="3269" data-end="3272" />
<h2 data-section-id="tbpd5b" data-start="3274" data-end="3305"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="3277" data-end="3305">We Have Seen This Before</strong></span></h2>
<p data-start="3307" data-end="3382"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We have already watched what happens when media gets sexual violence wrong.</span></p>
<p data-start="3384" data-end="3469"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The <span class="hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline"><span class="whitespace-normal">Rolling Stone UVA article controversy</span></span> should have taught every newsroom a lesson:</span></p>
<p data-start="3471" data-end="3536"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Slow down.</span><br data-start="3481" data-end="3484" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Verify.</span><br data-start="3491" data-end="3494" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Consult experts.</span><br data-start="3510" data-end="3513" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Protect the vulnerable.</span></p>
<p data-start="3538" data-end="3546"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And yet…</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Here we are again.</span></p>
<hr data-start="3568" data-end="3571" />
<h2 data-section-id="6v492j" data-start="3573" data-end="3600"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="3576" data-end="3600">What Needs to Change</strong></span></h2>
<p>(I could use soft words here like &#8220;avoid&#8221; but y&#8217;all haven&#8217;t heard us yet. So how about &#8220;stop&#8221;? Just stop.</p>
<div id="attachment_22099" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-22099" class="size-medium wp-image-22099" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-400x267.jpg" alt="selective focus photography of stop road sign" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-400x267.jpg 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-650x433.jpg 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-250x167.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-768x512.jpg 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-150x100.jpg 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy-800x533.jpg 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/81qkoopgahy.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p id="caption-attachment-22099" class="wp-caption-text">Photo by Jose Aragones/Unsplash</p></div>
<ul data-start="3602" data-end="3864">
<li data-section-id="11g8v4g" data-start="3602" data-end="3651">
<p data-start="3604" data-end="3651"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Stop</strong> defaulting to narratives that blame girls.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1aoobei" data-start="3652" data-end="3695">
<p data-start="3654" data-end="3695"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Stop</strong> reporting before facts are verified.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1ngbszf" data-start="3696" data-end="3750">
<p data-start="3698" data-end="3750"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Stop</strong> treating sexual violence like common knowledge.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="8a030h" data-start="3751" data-end="3794">
<p data-start="3753" data-end="3794"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Start</strong> consulting real experts—every time.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-section-id="1d19d7p" data-start="3795" data-end="3864">
<p data-start="3797" data-end="3864"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Start</strong> recognizing signs of exploitation, not sensationalizing them.</span></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="3866" data-end="3904"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/10-ways-society-trains-women-to-doubt-their-own-safety-instincts/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because this is bigger than one story.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="3906" data-end="3949"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%93%a2-hidden-herstory-the-leesburg-stockade-girls/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is about how society understands harm.</span></a></p>
<hr data-start="3951" data-end="3954" />
<h2 data-section-id="1jo8py" data-start="3956" data-end="3974"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="3959" data-end="3974">Final Truth</strong></span></h2>
<p data-start="3976" data-end="4063"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Just because adults are capable of sex</span><br data-start="4014" data-end="4017" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/access-entitlement-danger-whats-really-putting-black-women-and-girls-at-risk/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">does not mean they understand sexual violence.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="4065" data-end="4098"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And when you don’t understand it—</span></p>
<p data-start="4100" data-end="4195"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">you mislabel it</span><br data-start="4115" data-end="4118" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">you mishandle it</span><br data-start="4134" data-end="4137" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/why-i-believe-women-when-they-say-theyre-afraid-and-why-you-may-want-to-too-updated-with-podcast-link/"><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">and you harm the very people who need protection the most.</span></strong></a></p>
<hr data-start="4197" data-end="4200" />
<p data-start="4202" data-end="4265"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="4202" data-end="4265">If a headline makes a child look like the problem…<br data-start="4254" data-end="4257" />pause.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="4267" data-end="4307"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And ask yourself, like the elders would:</span></p>
<p data-start="4309" data-end="4340"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="4309" data-end="4340">When you accuse a child of assault, how do you come across to yourself?</strong></span></p>
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<p data-start="4309" data-end="4340"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Nothing that we are learning in &#8220;files&#8221; today should surprise us. <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/stay-woke-when-a-warning-is-turned-to-a-punchline/">We have been treating children this way for too long now. </a></span></p>
<p data-start="4309" data-end="4340"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Blues singer Lead Belly put a warning in a song about this very thing. People mock it and laugh about it now. Does that mean we are getting worse or better?</span></p>
<p data-start="4309" data-end="4340"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We must challenge ourselves whenever we catch a glimpse of ourselves, as we are the ones accusing child victims of violence and abuse of being the driving force behind their own destruction. They aren&#8217;t usually moving that fast, so it is us who must slow down and look more closely. </span></p>
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<p><iframe class="" src="https://elink.io/embed/9c700ed" width="100%" height="1000px" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/there-is-a-difference-between-i-want-this-and-i-do-not-want-this/">There is a Difference Between: &#8220;I Want This and I Do Not Want This&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<title>When Words and Actions Don’t Match: Why Women Must Trust What People Do, Not Just What They Say</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-words-and-actions-dont-match-why-women-must-trust-what-people-do-not-just-what-they-say/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Mar 2026 11:36:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Civil Rights & Social Justice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Consent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health and Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female health civil rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Misogyny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Political Action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RED FLAGS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=22036</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>For years now, a message has echoed across schools, workplaces, and social media campaigns: Be kind.Be nicer.Be more understanding.Be more compassionate. On the surface, kindness is a beautiful value. Many women already live by it. Women raise children, care for elders, nurture communities, volunteer, mediate conflicts, and hold families together. Yet something strange happens when [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-words-and-actions-dont-match-why-women-must-trust-what-people-do-not-just-what-they-say/">When Words and Actions Don’t Match: Why Women Must Trust What People Do, Not Just What They Say</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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<p data-start="121" data-end="212"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For years now, a message has echoed across schools, workplaces, and social media campaigns:</span></p>
<p data-start="214" data-end="292"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="214" data-end="224">Be kind.</em></span><br data-start="224" data-end="227" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="227" data-end="238">Be nicer.</em></span><br data-start="238" data-end="241" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="241" data-end="265">Be more understanding.</em></span><br data-start="265" data-end="268" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="268" data-end="292">Be more compassionate.</em></span></p>
<p data-start="294" data-end="489"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">On the surface, kindness is a beautiful value. Many women already live by it. Women raise children, care for elders, nurture communities, volunteer, mediate conflicts, and hold families together.</span></p>
<p data-start="491" data-end="578"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yet something strange happens when we look closely at who these campaigns are aimed at.<img decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-22053" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-400x400.png" alt="" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-400x400.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-650x650.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-250x250.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-768x768.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse-150x150.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/I-should-be-safe-even-if-I-say-no-wesurviveabuse.png 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></span></p>
<p data-start="580" data-end="652"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The message so often lands squarely on the shoulders of women and girls.</span></p>
<p data-start="654" data-end="785"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women are told to soften their tone.</span><br data-start="690" data-end="693" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women are told to be more patient.</span><br data-start="727" data-end="730" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women are told to give people the benefit of the doubt.</span></p>
<p data-start="787" data-end="846"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/instinct-is-not-ignorance-its-survival/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Meanwhile, a simple reality sits quietly in the background:</span></a></p>
<p data-start="848" data-end="1060"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/people-dont-just-ignore-red-flags-theyre-protecting-something/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across nearly every country on earth, <strong data-start="886" data-end="946">males commit the overwhelming majority of violent crimes</strong> — including homicide, assault, and sexual violence.</span></a><br data-start="998" data-end="1001" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is documented consistently in global crime statistics.</span></p>
<p data-start="1062" data-end="1133"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/love-doesnt-mean-lying-i-can-respect-you-and-still-speak-the-truth/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And yet the cultural pressure continues to fall on women to be <em data-start="1125" data-end="1133">nicer.</em></span></a></p>
<p data-start="1135" data-end="1181"><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not safer.</span></strong><br data-start="1145" data-end="1148" /><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not wiser.</span></strong><br data-start="1158" data-end="1161" /><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not more discerning.</span></strong></p>
<p data-start="1183" data-end="1189"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Nicer.</span></p>
<p data-start="1191" data-end="1288"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">At some point, women begin to notice the gap between what people say and what people actually do.</span></p>
<p data-start="1290" data-end="1305"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Words are easy.</span></p>
<p data-start="1307" data-end="1332"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-lie-she-tells-herself-when-women-protect-the-men-who-harm/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Behavior tells the truth.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="1334" data-end="1453"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is the wisdom behind the feeling so many women carry when they hear songs like <strong data-start="1418" data-end="1453">“I Can’t Believe What You Say.”</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="1455" data-end="1525"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because every woman eventually learns the lesson hidden in that lyric:</span></p>
<p data-start="1527" data-end="1604"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sometimes a person’s mouth tells one story, while their actions tell another.</span></p>
<p data-start="1606" data-end="1663"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And when that happens, <strong data-start="1629" data-end="1663">actions deserve our attention.</strong></span></p>
<h2 data-section-id="1592kjx" data-start="1668" data-end="1708"></h2>
<hr />
<h2 data-section-id="1592kjx" data-start="1668" data-end="1708"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Watching Actions Instead of Apologies</span></h2>
<p data-start="1710" data-end="1765"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/16516-2/">Women have long been trained to listen to explanations.</a><img decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-22050" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-400x238.png" alt="" width="300" height="179" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-400x238.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-650x387.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-250x149.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-768x457.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-150x89.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1-800x476.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></span></p>
<p data-start="1767" data-end="1863"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He didn’t mean it.</span><br data-start="1785" data-end="1788" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He’s just stressed.</span><br data-start="1807" data-end="1810" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He’s going through something.</span><br data-start="1839" data-end="1842" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">He didn’t understand.</span></p>
<p data-start="1865" data-end="1904"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But explanations cannot erase patterns.</span></p>
<p data-start="1906" data-end="2013"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A pattern of disrespect.</span><br data-start="1930" data-end="1933" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A pattern of intimidation.</span><br data-start="1959" data-end="1962" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A pattern of manipulation.</span><br data-start="1988" data-end="1991" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A pattern of violence.</span></p>
<p data-start="2015" data-end="2069"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Kindness should never require women to ignore reality.</span></p>
<p data-start="2071" data-end="2103"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">True kindness begins with truth.</span></p>
<hr />
<h2 data-section-id="1krujfn" data-start="2108" data-end="2139"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A Different Kind of Kindness</span></h2>
<p data-start="2141" data-end="2215"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women are not the least compassionate people on earth. Quite the opposite.</span></p>
<p data-start="2217" data-end="2270"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%9a%a8-when-power-imbalances-are-ignored-and-victims-get-hurt/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But compassion without boundaries becomes permission.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="2272" data-end="2326"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And permission is exactly what harmful people rely on.</span></p>
<p data-start="2328" data-end="2381"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">So perhaps the message women need is not “be kinder.”</span></p>
<p data-start="2383" data-end="2406"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps the message is:</span></p>
<p data-start="2408" data-end="2459"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="2408" data-end="2459">Be wiser.<br data-start="2419" data-end="2422" />Be observant.<br data-start="2435" data-end="2438" />Be rooted in truth.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="2461" data-end="2499"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Kindness that protects life is sacred.</span></p>
<p data-start="2501" data-end="2557"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Kindness that silences women is something else entirely.</span></p>
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<h2 data-section-id="1dx6ip3" data-start="2562" data-end="2620"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Affirmations Inspired by <em data-start="2590" data-end="2620">I Can’t Believe What You Say</em></span></h2>
<p data-start="2622" data-end="2664"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Let these words settle where they need to.</span></p>
<p data-start="2666" data-end="2721"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I trust what people <strong data-start="2688" data-end="2694">do</strong>, not just what they say.<img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-22051" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Know-your-power.jpg" alt="" width="257" height="257" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Know-your-power.jpg 320w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Know-your-power-250x250.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Know-your-power-150x150.jpg 150w" sizes="(max-width: 257px) 100vw, 257px" /></span></p>
<p data-start="2723" data-end="2795"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I honor the wisdom that rises in my body when something feels wrong.</span></p>
<p data-start="2797" data-end="2844"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• My awareness is not cruelty. It is clarity.</span></p>
<p data-start="2846" data-end="2893"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I no longer confuse politeness with safety.</span></p>
<p data-start="2895" data-end="2938"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• My discernment is a form of protection.</span></p>
<p data-start="2940" data-end="2998"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• Words without consistent action no longer persuade me.</span></p>
<p data-start="3000" data-end="3065"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I am allowed to step back when behavior contradicts promises.</span></p>
<p data-start="3067" data-end="3122"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I recognize patterns early and respond with wisdom.</span></p>
<p data-start="3124" data-end="3197"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I am not responsible for maintaining comfort around harmful behavior.</span></p>
<p data-start="3199" data-end="3258"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• My kindness will never require me to abandon my safety.</span></p>
<p data-start="3260" data-end="3324"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• I listen carefully to actions, because actions reveal truth.</span></p>
<p data-start="3326" data-end="3380"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">• My intuition has survived more than doubt ever will.</span></p>
<hr />
<h2 data-section-id="eyozrs" data-start="3385" data-end="3401"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A Quiet Shift</span></h2>
<p data-start="3403" data-end="3459"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Something powerful is happening in many women right now.</span></p>
<p data-start="3461" data-end="3475"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A quiet shift.</span></p>
<p data-start="3477" data-end="3578"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Women are beginning to observe more carefully.</span><br data-start="3523" data-end="3526" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Listen more closely.</span><br data-start="3546" data-end="3549" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Trust their instincts sooner.</span></p>
<p data-start="3580" data-end="3619"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not because they have become less kind.</span></p>
<p data-start="3621" data-end="3665"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But because they have become <strong data-start="3650" data-end="3665">more awake.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="3667" data-end="3708"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And awakening always begins the same way:</span></p>
<p data-start="3710" data-end="3745"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">A woman stops arguing with reality.</span></p>
<p data-start="3747" data-end="3759"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">She watches.</span></p>
<p data-start="3761" data-end="3773"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">She notices.</span></p>
<p data-start="3775" data-end="3814"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And she finally believes what she sees.</span></p>
<hr />
<p data-start="3819" data-end="3841"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="3819" data-end="3841">Closing Reflection</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="3843" data-end="3919"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/a-checklist-for-anyone-claiming-to-care-about-women-and-childrens-safety/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When words and behavior disagree, the truth is never hiding in the sentence.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="3921" data-end="3957"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is always visible in the pattern.</span></p>
<p data-start="3959" data-end="4032"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And women everywhere are learning to read those patterns with clear eyes.</span></p>
<p data-start="4037" data-end="4083" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node=""><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="4037" data-end="4060">Survivor Affirmations</em></span><br data-start="4060" data-end="4063" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em data-start="4063" data-end="4083" data-is-last-node="">WeSurviveAbuse.com</em></span></p>
<p data-start="4037" data-end="4083" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">&#8230;.I am closed to any prompting, pushing, or persuading around &#8220;being kind&#8221;.</p>
<p data-start="4037" data-end="4083" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">I am a kind person who LOVES doing for others, but people prompting or trying to persuade me, is now officially a red flag.</p>
<p data-start="4037" data-end="4083" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">Go sell it on a big male mountain somewhere. They could use more kindness campaigns over there.</p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-words-and-actions-dont-match-why-women-must-trust-what-people-do-not-just-what-they-say/">When Words and Actions Don’t Match: Why Women Must Trust What People Do, Not Just What They Say</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<title>Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/hello-10-issues-black-women-have-been-sounding-the-alarm-about-for-decades/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2026 23:33:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Assault]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Black femicide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Black Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Body safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Campus violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Child Abuse]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=21909</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Across social media and public conversations, there is a pattern many Black women recognize immediately. When a crisis emerges somewhere in the world, voices appear demanding that Black women: organize educate protest comfort mobilize The tone is often urgent. Sometimes aggressive. Occasionally, laced with insults or accusations. As if Black women caused the problem. As [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/hello-10-issues-black-women-have-been-sounding-the-alarm-about-for-decades/">Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-21910" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-400x238.png" alt="" width="300" height="179" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-400x238.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-650x387.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-250x149.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-768x457.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-150x89.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation-800x476.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/natural-resource-devine-creation.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Across social media and public conversations, there is a pattern many Black women recognize immediately.</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When a crisis emerges somewhere in the world, voices appear demanding that Black women:</span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">organize</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">educate</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">protest</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">comfort</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">mobilize</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The tone is often urgent. Sometimes aggressive. Occasionally, laced with insults or accusations.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">As if Black women caused the problem.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">As if we built the systems being criticized.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">As if we enslaved nations, colonized continents, or declared wars across the globe.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">History tells a very different story.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have spent generations trying to help societies move away from violence, injustice, and exploitation. Many have risked their lives doing so.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yet even while that history exists, a strange contradiction continues.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Our labor is demanded, but our leadership is questioned.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are invited into the work, but not always into the decision-making.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are kept in the field, but rarely welcomed at the strategy table.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-see-our-blackness-but-not-our-bruises/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And while the world demands more labor, there are issues Black women have been raising for decades that remain quietly ignored.</span></a></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Here are ten of them.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>1. Violence Against Black Women</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have been sounding the alarm about violence in their communities for generations.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not only violence from strangers.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-were-expected-to-bleed-quietly-so-they-could-stay-comfortable/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But violence in homes, workplaces, and institutions.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The cover-up narrative is, &#8220;No one wants Black women, but that has ALWAYS been a lie used as a speed bump to stall searches, investigations, and finding the true culprits.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Too often, these warnings were minimized, dismissed, or treated as private matters (<em>ownership, our children, our servant</em>) rather than public safety concerns.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>2. The Disappearance of Black Women and Girls</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">For years families have searched for missing daughters, sisters, and mothers with little media attention.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women were speaking about this issue long before national campaigns finally began acknowledging it.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Even now, many cases receive limited coverage.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>3. The Adultification of Black Girls</strong></span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-releasing-our-hold-on-secrets-helps-us-to-keep-healing/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black girls are often treated as older than they are.</span></a></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/dont-ignore-the-history-and-connection-of-accountability-evasion-in-violence-abuse-and-racism/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are expected to be tougher, more mature, and less innocent than other children.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This leads to harsher punishment in schools and less protection when harm occurs.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/stay-woke-when-a-warning-is-turned-to-a-punchline/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have been pointing out this pattern for decades.</span></a></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>4. Medical Dismissal and Maternal Health</strong></span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/after-a-doctor-told-her-there-was-nothing-she-could-do-about-her-diagnosis-lupita-nyongo-is-desperate-to-make-a-change-for-other-women-who-might-suffer-in-silence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women frequently report that their pain is not taken seriously by medical professionals.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This reality has contributed to higher maternal mortality rates and delayed diagnoses.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have been raising these concerns long before recent headlines acknowledged the crisis.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>5. Economic Exploitation</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women work at some of the highest rates of any demographic group in the United States.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Many support extended families while navigating wage gaps and limited access to capital.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Their labor sustains communities, yet their economic needs often receive less policy attention.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>6. The Emotional Labor Expected of Black Women</strong></span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/what-would-it-look-like-to-support-black-women-where-they-actually-live/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Across workplaces, families, and movements, Black women are often expected to stabilize environments during crisis.</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are asked to mediate conflicts, mentor others, and repair damage.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yet the emotional toll of that constant responsibility is rarely acknowledged.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><strong>7. The Silencing of Black Women Who Tell the Truth</strong><br />
When Black women speak directly about injustice, they often encounter labels meant to silence them.</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Words like:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">“angry”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">“difficult”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">“divisive”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Even, &#8220;hateful&#8221; and &#8220;bigoted&#8221; if you dare to speak truth.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">These labels distract from the issues being raised and discourage others from listening.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>8. The Myth of Endless Strength</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Strength is frequently praised in Black women.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But that praise sometimes becomes an excuse to overlook their needs.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">People celebrate resilience while ignoring exhaustion, grief, and vulnerability.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Strength without care becomes another form of burden.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>9. The Expectation That Black Women Will Save Everyone</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">There is a strange assumption in many conversations that Black women must respond to every global crisis.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The expectation appears quickly:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Speak up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Organize.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Educate others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Fix this problem too.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But Black women did not design the systems responsible for many of these problems.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yet they are repeatedly asked to clean them up.</span></p>
<hr />
<div id="attachment_21821" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-21821" class="wp-image-21821 size-medium" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-400x267.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-400x267.jpg 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-650x434.jpg 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-250x167.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-768x513.jpg 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-150x100.jpg 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b-800x534.jpg 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/260e9753-6a2f-40da-ad5b-a8f74286d24b.jpg 1023w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p id="caption-attachment-21821" class="wp-caption-text">And they still would not have voted for Harriet Tubman</p></div>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>10. The Refusal to Recognize Black Women’s Leadership</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps the most frustrating reality is this:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have offered solutions for generations.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They have written, organized, taught, and led movements that expanded democracy and human dignity.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yet excuses continue to appear whenever leadership roles are discussed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women are welcomed as workers.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But too often denied the authority to guide the direction of the work.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<div id="attachment_21448" style="width: 250px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-21448" class="wp-image-21448 size-medium" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/HBO_WsMbgAAL1uq-400x500.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="300" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/HBO_WsMbgAAL1uq-400x500.jpg 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/HBO_WsMbgAAL1uq-250x313.jpg 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/HBO_WsMbgAAL1uq-150x188.jpg 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/HBO_WsMbgAAL1uq.jpg 544w" sizes="(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px" /><p id="caption-attachment-21448" class="wp-caption-text">And they still would not have voted for Ida B. Wells</p></div>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>A Truth That Needs to Be Said</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have spent generations trying to move societies toward justice.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Calling for:</span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">safer communities</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">stronger families</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">dignity for workers</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">protection for children</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">accountability for violence</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Those are not small contributions.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Those are foundations for healthy societies.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And yet the pattern remains:</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/dont-share-my-scars-and-then-ask-for-my-help/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Demand the labor.</strong></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Question the leadership.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That contradiction deserves to be examined honestly.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-bird-that-runs-scams-better-than-humans-and-what-it-teaches-us-about-manipulation/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>A Different Question</strong></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps the conversation should begin somewhere else.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Instead of asking Black women to carry more responsibility for problems around the world, people might begin by asking:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>What are Black women saying about the conditions where they live?</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>What concerns have they been raising for decades?</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>What wisdom has already been offered?</strong></span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-abusers-and-systems-use-you-have-it-good-to-normalize-deprivation/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because communities grow stronger when they listen to those who have been warning them the longest.</span></a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/hello-10-issues-black-women-have-been-sounding-the-alarm-about-for-decades/">Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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		<title>Does Naming Ourselves Hurt Anyone? No. Erasing Us Does.</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/does-naming-ourselves-hurt-anyone-no-erasing-us-does/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2026 00:57:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Black Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Child Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Civil Rights & Social Justice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DECEPTION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disability and Chronic Illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health and Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female health civil rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health Care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Wellness and Healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Wellness and Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safe Boundaried Spaces]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safeguarding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Worth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving Daily]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violence Against Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Womanism/Feminism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Rights]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=17519</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; updated from November 18 2025 If the harm is sex-specific, the language has to be sex-specific.Especially for Black women.Especially in maternal health. &#160; Black women have always understood the power of naming. (My own mother adorned me with a name that has deep symbolic and guiding light meaning. We talked about it often throughout [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/does-naming-ourselves-hurt-anyone-no-erasing-us-does/">Does Naming Ourselves Hurt Anyone? No. Erasing Us Does.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">updated from November 18 2025</span></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><strong>If the harm is sex-specific, the language has to be sex-specific.</strong><br data-start="219" data-end="222" /><strong>Especially for Black women.</strong><br data-start="249" data-end="252" /><strong>Especially in maternal health.</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women have always understood the power of naming. (<em>My own mother adorned me with a name that has deep symbolic and guiding light meaning. We talked about it often throughout my childhood. Wings for the treacherous journey.)</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We insist on saying Black because history taught us that if we don’t name ourselves, the world will not only erase us, they will keep harming us. And repeat. And repeat. And then act as if they did not know it was wrong to harm Black people because you do not like us. Work the cycle.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But when it comes to our womanhood, many of us still hesitate.<img decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-17520" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-400x400.png" alt="" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-400x400.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-650x650.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-250x250.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-768x768.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-150x150.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too-800x800.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/if-the-harm-is-specific-the-language-must-be-too.png 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We soften.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We widen the circle.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We include everyone—because we were taught that if we didn’t, we were being selfish.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We learned to dim our truth so others would not call us divisive.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We learned to carry everyone else’s struggle on our backs, even when our own bodies were breaking.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But maternal health is not the place to practice self-erasure.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not when Black women are dying.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not when our <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/if-only-we-could-talk-openly-about-maternal-health/">pregnancies</a>, our pain, our losses, and our victories happen inside female bodies, shaped by biology and scarred by history.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sex-based language is not exclusion.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is not a lack of generosity.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is not a failure of solidarity.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is survival.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is the clarity we need to protect Black women’s lives.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Why Black Women Must Speak Plainly About Our Womanhood</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Our maternal crisis is not random.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is not generic.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is not “for everyone.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It targets us because we are Black and because we are women.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Every single injustice—dismissed pain, misdiagnosis, preventable death, disrespect in labor, unnecessary surgeries—falls at the intersection of our race and our sex.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If we blur either part—Blackness or womanhood—we lose the truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And when the truth becomes blurred, the danger becomes invisible.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/respect-is-supposed-to-be-mutual-but-women-know-better/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women cannot afford that. </span></a></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong>We Think We Are Being Kind. But Often, We Are Being Conditioned&#8230;Again</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Black women are trained from girlhood to be caretakers of the whole:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to make room</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to soften demands</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to never center ourselves</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to never speak too specifically about our needs</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to never inconvenience anyone</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">to never be “too Black,” “too female,” or “too particular”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We’ve been shaped to believe that advocating for ourselves is selfish.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But real self-care—the kind <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/how-audre-lorde-taught-us-to-see-women-fully/">Audre Lorde</a> spoke of—is not selfish.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is self-preservation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is political warfare.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is the courage to say:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am a Black woman.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">My life matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">My womanhood matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">My survival matters.</span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%a7%a9-oppressive-systems-are-built-to-erase-specificity/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And I do not have to dilute my language to be worthy of care.</span></a></p>
<hr />
<h2 data-start="2723" data-end="2768"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/henrietta-lacks-and-others-too-misogyny-in-medicine/"><strong data-start="2726" data-end="2768">This Is Why Sex-Based Language Matters</strong></a></h2>
<p data-start="2770" data-end="2928"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, postpartum crisis—these are not abstract human experiences.</span><br data-start="2865" data-end="2868" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">They are biological events that happen to <strong data-start="2910" data-end="2927">female bodies</strong>.</span></p>
<p data-start="2930" data-end="2985"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQBm6c7o_FA&amp;t=146s"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If we do not name the body, we cannot protect the body.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="2987" data-end="3089"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If we do not say “Black women,” the system defaults to being allegedly “colorblind”—which has never protected us.</span></p>
<p data-start="3091" data-end="3147"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If we do not say “maternal health,” the data disappears.</span></p>
<p data-start="3149" data-end="3210"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/after-a-doctor-told-her-there-was-nothing-she-could-do-about-her-diagnosis-lupita-nyongo-is-desperate-to-make-a-change-for-other-women-who-might-suffer-in-silence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Clear language is not harm.</span></a><br data-start="3176" data-end="3179" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Clear language is the lifeline.</span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong>A Teaching Moment for Anyone Who Truly Wants to Stand With Us</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Use the words “Black women.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Use the words “maternal health.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Use &#8220;<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/courtney-stoddens-lifetime-movie-exposes-the-public-grooming-of-a-child-bride-and-the-cruelty-of-celebrity-culture/"><strong>girl child marriage</strong></a>&#8220;. Who is out here marrying little boys? Boys are being assaulted and harmed and <a href="https://rosaschildren.com/%f0%9f%a7%92%f0%9f%8f%bd-not-all-predators-are-men-some-are-women/">WE are disgusted enough to write and speak about it on the internet that is forever and in person too.</a> BUT who is marrying them, entrapping them, impregnating them, jacking their innocence? Name the harm. Name the harmer.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Use the words “<strong>female human bodies”</strong> &#8220;<strong>girl&#8221;</strong> and &#8220;<strong>women</strong>&#8221; when you mean <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/may-we-never-forget-the-battles-when-pregnancy-was-a-fireable-offense/">pregnancy</a>. Even when they gasp and call you hateful. The hate is what is happening to women. The hate is the fact that too often grown men are impregnating girls. But all the reasons that we can&#8217;t say true words center men&#8217;s <strong>feelings. </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Don’t replace our reality with vagueness. Refuse.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Don’t make our crisis unsearchable or un-trackable. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Don’t make our womanhood disappear to be polite.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If you want to help us, name us.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are not concepts.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are not footnotes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are not categories inside categories.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are Black women.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And the world must finally learn to care for us as Black women. That&#8217;s a beautiful thing. Not something to hide or dilute. Not something unsayable. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyJlT1VOB3I&amp;t=12s">Black women are a divine creation.</a> </strong></span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><strong>A Rallying Cry for Our Own Souls</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is the self-care Audre Lorde meant:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The moment when a Black woman finally says,</span><br />
<a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%8e%af-what-we-will-not-be-prioritizing-when-women-demand-safety-health-well-being/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">“I deserve to speak plainly about what happens to my body.”</span></a></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The moment we stop performing softness for others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">The moment we choose clarity over comfort.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">The moment we choose survival over silence.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/its-not-that-they-cant-hear-you-theyve-chosen-not-to/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Naming ourselves is not selfish.</span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is sacred.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is protective.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is how we make sure every Black mother comes home with her baby.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We name us clearly so we can protect us fully.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>*** People can name themselves whatever they choose (</strong><span style="color: #993300;">see how we love</span><strong>), but what we cannot afford to do is allow others to un-name Black women&#8230;and then DEMAND and REQUIRE that we do the same.</strong></span></p>
<hr />
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><iframe src="https://elink.io/embed/92cb628" width="100%" height="1000px" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/does-naming-ourselves-hurt-anyone-no-erasing-us-does/">Does Naming Ourselves Hurt Anyone? No. Erasing Us Does.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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			</item>
		<item>
		<title>You See Our Blackness, But Not Our Bruises</title>
		<link>https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-see-our-blackness-but-not-our-bruises/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tonya GJ Prince]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse of Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Civil Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Health and Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female health civil rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Femicide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Worth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SPEAK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving Daily]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Victims Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Violence Against Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Rights]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://wesurviveabuse.com/?p=8762</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>updated from June 8 2025 We are not just Black.We are not just women&#8230;.or girlsWe are Black women and Black girlsand we need care, health, and safety. You don’t get to claim you care about justiceif disabled children, silenced girls, and war-torn mothersdon’t count because their healing would cost you comfort.  Or a male you [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-see-our-blackness-but-not-our-bruises/">You See Our Blackness, But Not Our Bruises</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p data-start="1640" data-end="1670"><em>updated from June 8 2025</em></p>
<h3 data-start="1640" data-end="1670"><strong>We are not just Black.<img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-21833" src="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-400x228.png" alt="" width="375" height="214" srcset="https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-400x228.png 400w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-650x371.png 650w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-250x143.png 250w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-768x439.png 768w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-150x86.png 150w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2-800x457.png 800w, https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/I-will-not-go-along-with-your-attempts-to-reframe-male-entitlement-as-inclusion-wesurviveabuse-2.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px" /></strong><br data-start="395" data-end="398" /><strong>We are not just women&#8230;.<a href="https://rosaschildren.com/why-do-people-believe-girls-boundaries-are-bad-or-unkind/">or girls</a></strong><br data-start="420" data-end="423" /><strong>We are Black women and <a href="https://rosaschildren.com/how-to-stop-adults-from-gaslighting-kids-about-abuse/">Black girls</a></strong><br data-start="446" data-end="449" /><strong>and we need care, health, and safety.</strong></h3>
<p><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/the-cost-of-lying-for-men-what-happens-when-women-are-expected-to-protect-feelings-instead-of-tell-the-truth/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You don’t get to claim you care about justice</span></a><br data-start="1360" data-end="1363" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">if disabled children, <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-they-say-youre-not-so-innocent-you-still-deserve-justice/">silenced girls</a>, and war-torn mothers</span><br data-start="1421" data-end="1424" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">don’t count because their healing would cost you comfort. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Or a male you have taken a liking to. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You don’t get to use our magic,</span><br data-start="1129" data-end="1132" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">our music,</span><br data-start="1142" data-end="1145" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">our memes,</span><br data-start="1155" data-end="1158" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">our voices—</span><br data-start="1169" data-end="1172" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">but ignore our cries when the harm comes. AND assist us in trying to prevent harm.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Some people call themselves allies.</span><br data-start="813" data-end="816" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/stop-calling-it-respect-when-its-really-silence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But their “support” vanishes when we name male violence.</span></a></p>
<h3 data-start="1640" data-end="1670">🕯️ For the Silenced Ones:</h3>
<ul data-start="1672" data-end="2089">
<li data-start="1672" data-end="1736">
<p data-start="1674" data-end="1736"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-the-mask-matters-more-than-the-truth-survivors-are-asked-to-disappear/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For the Black woman or girl who told her story and lost her friends.</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-start="1737" data-end="1808">
<p data-start="1739" data-end="1808"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/10-common-myths-about-grooming-and-the-truth-survivors-need-to-know/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For the disabled girl who was taught not to fight back or speak up.</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-start="1809" data-end="1932">
<p data-start="1811" data-end="1932"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For the woman in <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/7-devastating-truths-about-the-atrocities-facing-women-and-girls-in-sudan-and-why-the-world-must-not-look-away/">Sudan</a>, Haiti, Congo,—who buried her child and still had to cook for others the next day.</span></p>
</li>
<li data-start="1933" data-end="1988">
<p data-start="1935" data-end="1988"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/complacency-around-violence-and-abuse-a-longtime-foe-against-women-and-children/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For the girl in the group home who wasn’t believed.</span></a></p>
</li>
<li data-start="1989" data-end="2089">
<p data-start="1991" data-end="2089"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/he-chose-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For the woman in the church who dared to say, “My husband hurt me,” and was told to “pray harder.”</span></a></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p data-start="2091" data-end="2168"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We see you.</span><br data-start="2102" data-end="2105" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We believe you.</span><br data-start="2120" data-end="2123" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/%f0%9f%9a%ab-where-the-real-toxicity-lies-boundaries-consent-and-culture/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We speak for you if you are unable, even when others refuse to.</span></a></p>
<hr data-start="2170" data-end="2173" />
<h3 data-start="2175" data-end="2232">⚠️ If You Only See Our Value in What We Do for You…</h3>
<p data-start="2233" data-end="2293"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/sisterhood-isnt-a-cage-reject-the-love-bombs-that-protect-male-violence/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You do not love us.</span></a><br data-start="2252" data-end="2255" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You do not see us.</span><br data-start="2273" data-end="2276" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">You are not safe.</span></p>
<blockquote data-start="2295" data-end="2479">
<p data-start="2297" data-end="2479"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Love that refuses to <strong data-start="2318" data-end="2329">protect</strong> is not love.</span><br data-start="2342" data-end="2345" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Love that refuses to <strong data-start="2368" data-end="2378">listen</strong> is not love.</span><br data-start="2391" data-end="2394" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Love that demands we keep serving while wounded—is not love. It’s <strong data-start="2462" data-end="2478">exploitation</strong>.</span></p>
</blockquote>
<hr data-start="2481" data-end="2484" />
<h3 data-start="2486" data-end="2508">🔥 Call to Action:</h3>
<p data-start="2510" data-end="2723"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Stop asking Black women and Black girls to carry everything and everyone—<em data-start="2567" data-end="2591">including our abusers.</em></span><br data-start="2591" data-end="2594" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Start building systems where safety doesn’t require us to be silent.</span><br data-start="2662" data-end="2665" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Start believing that WE deserve to <em data-start="2700" data-end="2723">rest, rage, and rise.</em></span></p>
<p data-start="2725" data-end="2927"><a href="https://rosaschildren.com/bullies-side-with-other-bullies-dont-let-it-stun-you-take-action/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We will not beg to be seen anymore.</span></a><br data-start="2760" data-end="2763" /><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/when-they-say-youre-not-so-innocent-you-still-deserve-justice/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We will not water down the truth to keep your comfort.</span></a></p>
<p data-start="2725" data-end="2927"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We are done being mirrors for everyone else&#8217;s greatness—</span><br data-start="2876" data-end="2879" /><span style="font-size: 14pt;">while being denied the right to our own healing.</span></p>
<p data-start="2929" data-end="2955"><a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/your-voice-was-never-the-problem-their-comfort-with-harm-was/"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong data-start="2929" data-end="2955">Our silence ends here.</strong></span></a></p>
<hr data-start="2957" data-end="2960" />
<p data-start="2962" data-end="3126"><span style="font-size: 8pt;"><strong data-start="2962" data-end="3126">Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs.<br data-start="3049" data-end="3052" />And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.</strong></span></p>
<p data-start="3128" data-end="3203"><span style="font-size: 8pt;"><strong data-start="3128" data-end="3203">[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]</strong></span></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com/you-see-our-blackness-but-not-our-bruises/">You See Our Blackness, But Not Our Bruises</a> appeared first on <a href="https://wesurviveabuse.com">WESurviveAbuse</a>.</p>
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