*updated for 2025 Dear LORD, Please Bless Us All—Because This Is Me. People expect you to “get over” being a victim of violence.Why?Because they thi
*updated for 2025
Dear LORD, Please Bless Us All—Because This Is Me.
People expect you to “get over” being a victim of violence.
Why?
Because they think nothing of value was taken.
Not like a car.
Not a TV.
Not jewelry.
Not anything they can itemize on a police report.
But what victims of domestic and sexual violence lose…
You can’t put that on paper.
One of the first things stolen is authenticity.
And sadly, we take authenticity far too casually.
We chase success.
We chase love.
We chase visibility.
But how many of us chase authenticity?
How many of us say:
“I want to be more honest with myself.”
“I want to feel free in my own skin.”
“I want to stop performing just to be accepted.”
Because that’s what Survivors lose—the right to just be.
The Cost of Hiding
When you’re living in abuse, you’re already in hiding.
You’re hiding bruises.
You’re hiding tears.
You’re hiding how scared you are—because even your fear might provoke him.
And when the abuse stops?
You’re still hiding.
Because your pain makes other people uncomfortable.
Because people are too ignorant or too fragile to handle your truth.
Because the world would rather you be silent than messy, brave, or broken.
So what do we do?
We wear the mask.
We become actresses, comedians, overachievers, avoiders.
And sometimes we lie so well we forget what our real voice even sounds like.
Authenticity Requires Knowing Yourself
Before you can be real with anyone else, you have to be real with you.
That means knowing:
Your values
Your goals
Your limits
Your truths
Your no’s and your hell no’s
Your softness and your sharpness
🧭 7 Ways to Reclaim Your Authenticity After Abuse
1. Give up the need to be perfect.
Excellence is enough.
You’re not a brand. You’re not a performance. You’re a human being.
And no one can be perfect and honest at the same time.
Let that go.
🌱 It’s okay to be unfinished. Just be real.
2. Name your values. Live by them.
Make a list. What matters to you most?
Are your actions lining up with those values?
Can others see them in how you show up—or just on a t-shirt or social post?
If your people would reject the real you, maybe they’re not your people.
And if you’ve been hiding the real you, it’s time to stop asking for permission.
3. Notice when you’re shrinking.
Not all lies sound like lies.
Sometimes they sound like, “I’m fine.”
Sometimes they sound like, “It’s not a big deal.”
Sometimes they sound like, “I can handle it on my own.”
Start paying attention to the moments when you feel yourself shifting into survival mode again—and gently bring yourself back to truth.
4. Know what you want. Say it out loud.
What do you actually want from this life?
Write it down. Say it out loud.
And if someone mocks you, maybe they’re not meant to hear your dreams.
5. Be honest about who you are.
How do you describe yourself?
Now ask yourself if your closest people would say the same.
Are you trying to hide your flaws to “fit in”?
Are you showing up as your real self—or your rehearsed self?
You don’t need to be polished to be powerful.
6. Accept your full humanity.
You’ve made mistakes.
You have scars.
You’ve doubted your strength.
And guess what?
You still deserve to be spoken of with honor.
Let people love the whole you.
Not just the survival story. The real you.
7. Simplify everything.
Clear the clutter.
Not just in your house—but in your time, your energy, your circle.
Only keep what’s real, what’s nourishing, what feels like home.
If it’s performative, disposable, or leaves you hollow—it’s got to go.
The more you strip away, the more clearly you’ll hear your own voice again.
🦋 Life Gets Lighter When You Live Authentically
You stop constantly shape-shifting to fit in.
You stop apologizing for your story.
You stop filtering your feelings for someone else’s comfort.
You start coming home—to yourself.
To the version of you that doesn’t need to hide, mask, prove, or perform.
You start becoming free.
#WeSurviveAbuse
#AuthenticityAfterAbuse
#HealingOutLoud
#IAmNotMyMask
#FreedomInTruth
