What Love Should Never Cost You Before abuse becomes obvious, it often shows up in quieter, more subtle ways.In the beginning, it can feel like pas
What Love Should Never Cost You
Before abuse becomes obvious, it often shows up in quieter, more subtle ways.
In the beginning, it can feel like passion. Protection. Even love.
But what you’re really seeing are early warning signs of control—and it’s important to trust what you’re feeling.
Because love should never require you to:
shrink yourself
doubt your intuition
or feel like you’re walking on eggshells
Here are early warning signs to pay attention to—especially when something feels “off,” even if you can’t explain it yet.
🚩 1. They Move Too Fast
They say things like “I’ve never felt this way before” or “Let’s move in together” very early on.
You feel rushed. Like you’re being swept into something intense before you’ve had time to think.
Healthy love builds. Control rushes.
🚩 2. They Need to Know Where You Are at All Times
It starts as “just checking in.” But soon, you’re constantly explaining yourself.
You’re watched, tracked, or expected to respond immediately—or they get angry.
Love doesn’t come with surveillance.
🚩 3. They Get Jealous Easily, Then Blame You for It
They accuse you of flirting. They hate when you talk to friends, coworkers, or exes—even innocently.
They twist your words or make you feel guilty for things you didn’t do.
Jealousy isn’t proof of love—it’s a red flag.
🚩 4. They Isolate You from Loved Ones
They tell you your friends “don’t really care about you,” or that your family is “toxic.”
Suddenly, you’re spending all your time with them—and they like it that way.
Isolation makes control easier. Connection threatens it.
🚩 5. They Criticize or Belittle You (Even Jokingly)
They make “jokes” at your expense, point out your flaws, or question your intelligence, appearance, or goals.
You start to second-guess yourself. You feel smaller around them.
Real love uplifts. It does not humiliate.
🚩 6. They Can’t Handle Accountability
When you bring up a concern, they flip it on you.
You’re always the one “causing drama” or being “too sensitive.”
They rarely apologize—and when they do, it doesn’t lead to change.
If someone makes you feel guilty for having boundaries, that’s a red flag.
🚩 7. They Use Guilt or Fear to Get Their Way
You find yourself agreeing to things you’re not comfortable with because you’re afraid of how they’ll react.
Or you feel guilty for wanting space, time alone, or your own needs.
Love should never feel like a trap.
🚩 Bonus: Pay Attention to How They Talk About Abuse in the News
Listen closely when stories about abuse, violence, or women’s rights come up.
Do they blame the victim?
Mock or disbelieve Survivors?
Say things like “she’s probably lying” or “that’s what happens when you put yourself in that situation”?
Do they minimize rape, domestic violence, or harassment?
Do they get angry about women and girls having safe spaces—or question why those spaces are needed at all?
How someone speaks about other people’s pain tells you everything about how they’ll treat yours.
This includes how they speak about celebrity Survivors, gender-based violence, and public cases. If they consistently take the side of power over the vulnerable, if they laugh, mock, or stay silent when it matters—that’s not just an opinion.
That’s a warning.
🌱 If You Feel Confused, That’s Not a Sign of Weakness.
It’s a sign that your body is picking up on what your heart is trying to make sense of.
You are not overreacting. You’re responding to something real.
You deserve relationships built on respect, safety, peace, and mutual care—not fear, guilt, or confusion.
Your intuition is a sacred compass. Trust it.
Even if you don’t have “proof.”
Even if no one else sees it yet.
You do not need permission to protect your peace.
