Let’s be real. There is a difference between asking someone to care and asking someone to give themselves away. What we are seeing—too often, and too
Let’s be real. There is a difference between asking someone to care and asking someone to give themselves away.
What we are seeing—too often, and too boldly—is weaponized empathy. A tactic where people appeal to your goodness, your heart, your moral compass…
only to guide you off a cliff.
They say:
“If you were truly for justice, you’d give up your women-only space.”
“If you’re really inclusive, you won’t mind sharing your trauma group with those people across the way who hate you and were the reason you started the group.” (Now where will you heal?)
“If you care about equality, you’ll stop asking for boundaries.”
Do you see the trick?
They are not asking for your support.
They are asking for your self-erasure—with a smile on their face and a fake halo over their head.
💣 This Is Not Solidarity. It’s Spiritual Manipulation.
This is the spiritual cousin of grooming.
The ideological twin of gaslighting.
It’s a setup.
They count on you to be kind.
They count on you to want peace.
They count on you to be the bigger person.
But here’s the truth:
The bigger person is still a person.
And people—especially women who’ve survived hell—deserve boundaries, not burdens.
🧠 Let’s Break It Down with a Metaphor:
You’re on a lifeboat in open waters. You’ve survived the shipwreck. You’re still shaky, patching your wounds.
Then someone else—dry, warm, and perfectly safe—rows up next to you and says:
“If you were really compassionate, you’d give up your seat and go back into the stormy water so I can stretch out.”
That’s not a request.
That’s a violation disguised as virtue.
🚨 When Empathy Is Turned Against You
They know that Black women, in particular, have been taught to give and give and give—to be the mother, the mule, the muscle, the martyr.
But this tactic is old. It’s rooted in oppression.
Jim Crow said, “You can’t have your own space.”
Modern manipulators say, “It’s selfish to want one.”
Both say the same thing:
“You don’t deserve boundaries.”
🔥 Say This Instead:
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“Empathy should not demand my erasure.”
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“I can be kind and still say no.”
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“Survival taught me discernment—not obligation.”
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“I’ve already given the world too much of myself. I will not hand over my safety.”
🕊️ For Survivors Who’ve Been Guilt-Tripped Before:
You do not have to carry every cause on your back.
You do not have to water down your safety for someone else’s comfort.
You are allowed to say “No, this space is for my healing.”
You are allowed to say “My protection is not up for debate.”
Protect your peace. Guard your boundaries. Hold your space.
The world will try to twist your empathy into a leash.
Cut it.
✨ Reflection Question:
Have you ever been manipulated into giving up something sacred to “prove” your compassion?
