You think you’re doing the right thing.Being nice.Being kind.Being patient.Taking the high road....just like you were taught. But when you're deali
You think you’re doing the right thing.
Being nice.
Being kind.
Being patient.
Taking the high road….just like you were taught.
But when you’re dealing with a manipulator, what you think is kindness…
they see as weakness.
They don’t take your grace to heart—they take it as a green light.
This is how people get chipped away—not all at once, but over time.
Here’s how you know you’re not being the “bigger person”—you’re being slowly worn down.
1. You Excuse Harmful Behavior Over and Over Again
You find yourself constantly saying things like:
“They didn’t mean it.”
“Maybe I’m just overreacting.”
“Everyone has bad days.”
But deep down, you know this isn’t about one bad day.
It’s a pattern.
And the more you excuse it, the deeper the damage grows.
You’re not keeping the peace—you’re carrying the weight of someone else’s wreckage.
2. You Shrink to Keep Them Comfortable
You used to speak freely. Laugh loudly. Shine openly.
Now you walk on eggshells. You edit yourself.
You “keep it light” to avoid setting them off.
What feels like grace is actually suppression.
You’re not being humble—you’re slowly disappearing.
And the saddest part?
They don’t even notice. Or worse, they prefer you small.
3. They Grow Stronger as You Grow Smaller
Manipulators don’t just stumble into power.
They absorb it—from people like you.
From your silence. Your loyalty. Your self-doubt.
They don’t see your kindness as noble.
They see it as strategy—to keep you under control.
They’re thriving off of what you’re losing.
And you keep telling yourself that’s what love does.
It isn’t.
4. You Feel Tired… All the Time
It’s more than physical exhaustion.
It’s emotional depletion.
You’re tired in your bones, in your spirit, in the softest corners of yourself.
This isn’t just about being busy or stressed.
This is what it feels like to carry someone else’s chaos while trying to appear strong.
You’re not just tired.
You’re being drained.
And your body knows before your mind catches up.
5. You Doubt Yourself More Than You Trust Yourself
They’ve made you question your own memory, your own voice, your own gut.
You hesitate now.
You apologize for things you didn’t do.
You wonder if you’re “too sensitive.”
“Too much.”
“Too broken.”
But you weren’t always like this.
This isn’t who you are.
This is who you’ve become while trying to be enough for someone who was never satisfied to begin with.
6. They Call It Love—But It Costs You Your Peace
Love shouldn’t feel like a hostage situation.
It shouldn’t leave you confused, anxious, or afraid to speak.
If you’re constantly calming storms you didn’t start,
mending wounds you didn’t cause,
or apologizing just to survive another day—
That’s not love.
That’s control.
And it’s cutting you down from the inside out.
7. You’re Losing Yourself Trying to Be the Bigger Person
Let’s be real:
Being the bigger person shouldn’t mean being the invisible person.
You were taught that love means sacrifice.
But sacrifice without reciprocity is self-harm.
You are not here to be someone’s emotional sponge.
You are not required to bleed in silence just because they say they “love” you.
And you are not obligated to stay in a relationship that starves you of yourself.
💬 Final Word:
Kindness is a virtue. But not when it becomes a weapon used against you.
You deserve love that doesn’t hurt.
Peace that doesn’t require silence.
Safety that doesn’t require shrinking.
And dignity that doesn’t have to beg to be seen.
Sometimes the most courageous, loving thing you can do—
is walk away.
*Notice how calls to “be kind” is not directed at predominately male audiences.
