When Pretending You’re Okay Is Wearing You Down

What to Do Instead of Faking It All the Time

Some days, pretending to be okay feels safer than telling the truth.

You already know what happens when you cry in front of the wrong people.
You’ve seen how quick folks are to change the subject, offer empty advice, or use your honesty against you later.

So you smile. You say “I’m good.” You keep going.

But here’s the part that’s hard to say out loud:

Pretending costs you something.

It drains your energy.
It locks up your truth.
It can make you feel invisible—even to yourself.

🧭 So what can you do instead?

Here are real options for the days you don’t feel safe being fully open but can’t keep faking it either.

✅ 1. Tell Yourself the Truth First

If you can’t say it to them, say it to you.

Try this:
Write or voice memo the real answer to “How are you today?”
Save it in a journal or phone app under a locked folder.
Use your own voice—not the “public” one.

✅ 2. Build a “Truth Circle”

Start gathering people—just one or two—who can hold space for your truth without flinching.

Don’t have that yet? That’s okay.
You’re not behind—you’re in the process.
Until then, let paper, prayer, or the trees witness you.

✅ 3. Create Micro-Moments of Release

You don’t have to fall apart all at once.

Step into the bathroom.
Close the door.
Hum. Cry. Shake. Let one tear fall.
Whisper “I’m not okay today.”
Then go back to your day—but don’t leave your truth behind.

✅ 4. Start Saying ‘Sort-Of Honest’ Things

When people ask how you are, you can say:

• “I’m carrying a lot today.”

• “I’m not at 100%, but I’m moving.”

• “Let’s just say it’s a high-tea, low-spoons kind of day.”

You’re not lying. You’re not over-exposing either. You’re protecting your truth while still honoring it.

✅ 5. Set an Expiration Date on the Mask

Choose a time—tonight, Sunday afternoon, next full moon—when you promise yourself you’ll check in and not perform.

Make it sacred.
Light a candle.
Let your breath come without fixing your face first.

🌱 SurvivorAffirmation:

“I don’t have to perform to be worthy. I can be exactly where I am and still be held in love.”

The problem isn’t that you’ve been pretending.
The problem is when the pretending never gets to pause.
This is your permission to pause.