I've listened. Far too many people within the LGBTQ+ community respond to Prince's response insist that he had no right to say no because he was per
I’ve listened.
Far too many people within the LGBTQ+ community respond to Prince’s response insist that he had no right to say no because he was perceived to be perhaps hypersexual and even bisexual. You can debate that amongst yourselves. What we can’t debate is whether or not those perceptions, even if they are based in fact, remove a person’s ability to say, “no”.
A person saying yes to this sexual act or that sexual act does not mean that they are “down for anything.” Just because they dress a certain way, doesn’t make them public property. (People justify trespassing his right to decide for himself by referring to the way he dressed…. just like they do women ……..and little girls.).
Man or woman. People always have the right to say no. At any given moment. Period. No shame.
Going forward, we reduce violence against the entire community by helping all people to understand that every individual has the right to set boundaries and say “no.”
I respect that you had to fight for your right to say yes. And please never forget—you also have the sacred right to say no.
Keep standing in both. Keep standing up for your right to say no—because every ‘no’ you honor protects your dignity, your body, and your freedom.
When Chris Rock once asked Prince why he turned down Michael Jackson’s offer to duet on Bad, Prince’s answer was simple:
He didn’t like the line “Your butt is mine.”
It didn’t fit him and it was not something he wanted to perform.
And so, he said no.
The Reaction That Misses the Point
Over the years, some people—especially in LGBTQ+ discussions—have twisted that refusal. But I see that perspective too. I hear you.
Some suggest Prince should have “gone along”, or that rejecting the lyric somehow rejected bisexuality. Especially since given his own years of pushing the envelope sexually and being perceived as bisexual himself at times.
But here’s the real danger in that thinking:
It assumes that because someone is gay, bi, or lesbian, they must always be “down for anything.”
And it punishes people when they exercise their right to say no.
Sadly, Prince is gone now and can’t clarify his comments.
This is not just a music industry debate—it’s a societal issue. This type of thinking leaves people vulnerable to risk and harm. All people-“different” or not- have right to consent.
The Double Bind of Being Different
Here’s how it plays out, again and again:
Projection: People (not MJ, other people) assume that because of your identity—lesbian, bisexual, gay, perceived LGB, Black, Native American, female, disabled—you should accept things you never agreed to.
Resistance: When you set boundaries, you get labeled as difficult, prudish, or disloyal.
Blame: If you are harmed and ask for help, people respond with “Well, what did you expect?”
That cycle isn’t just unfair. It’s abusive. It teaches people who are already marginalized that their “no” carries less weight.
As an advocate, I have responded to people who were brutally harmed by people who believed this. That’s the reasoning that the perpetrator used to harm the human being who was lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and/or perceived as LGBT.
“LGBT people don’t deserve boundaries and have no right to say “no”. Who do you think you are?”
Dehumanizing. Y’all, I’m talking horrific stuff. Horrific crimes.
Prince’s Refusal Was a Boundary
Prince’s choice not to sing that lyric wasn’t prudish or anti-anyone.
It was personal sovereignty. It looks the same on men as it does on women.
It was consent in action.
It was a man saying, “That doesn’t sit right with me, so I won’t do it.”
That’s exactly the right every Survivor, every woman, every LGBT person, every human being has:
The right to decline, without having their identity used against them.
Why This Matters for Survivors
Survivors know this pattern well.
Women are told: If you wear that, what did you expect?
LGB people are told: If you came out, of course people will test your limits.
Survivors are told: If you didn’t fight back, maybe you consented.
Each message is the same: Your difference erases your boundaries.
But here’s the truth—difference does not erase consent.
None of us has to go along with anything we are not comfortable with to satisfy a family, a church, a school, a group, or a community. And we can decline to do it in respect and love. (They still gone talk about like you stole something. So just be ready. LOL)
A Call to All of Us
If someone says no, full stop—that’s enough.
No matter who they are, how they say they identify, or how the world perceives them.
Consent is not erased by identity.
Boundaries are not optional.
🔥 Survivors, let’s remember:
Your voice is valid.
Your boundaries are sacred.
Your difference is not a weakness—it is your brilliance.
I respect that you had to fight for your right to say yes.
And please never forget—you also have the sacred right to say no. Keep standing in both. Keep standing up for your right to say no—because every ‘no’ you honor protects your dignity, your body, and your freedom.
Rivalry aside, both musical geniuses had deep and abiding respect for another. Both gave their all to their fans. May they rest in peace and power.
*Disclaimer: Power plays by strange and often predatory rules in the entertainment industry. My usage of Prince is not meant to speak to his character. I never met him. Though I am a huge fan of his music, I never even went to one of his concerts (we had so many great artists to see). I am simply using this interview and people’s reaction to it as a teaching illustration of personal sovereignty.
🌹 Consent Affirmations
“My yes is a gift. My no is protection. Both deserve respect.”
“I am not obligated to please, explain, or perform. My boundaries are mine.”
“Consent is not negotiable. My silence is not consent. Only my free and willing yes counts.”
“I honor my body, my spirit, and my peace by standing firm in my choices.”
“I am not here to be pressured, tricked, or worn down. I am here to be honored.”
“No is a full sentence. No is a sacred shield. No is enough.”
“My worth does not depend on being agreeable. My power is in being truthful.”
“Consent is my daily right—in relationships, in work, in community, in every space I enter.”
“If it does not feel safe, the answer is no. My intuition is wisdom.”
“I deserve partners, friends, and communities that respect my boundaries without punishment or ridicule.”
“I can change my mind. I can say yes today and no tomorrow. That freedom belongs to me.”
“Consent is not just about my body—it is about my time, my energy, my spirit, and my space.”
“When I protect my consent, I protect my legacy, my peace, and my future.”
“I honor myself by only giving what I truly, freely, and joyfully choose to give.”
“Consent is not selfish—it is self-respect.”
*Don’t let people fool you into believing that you have to “qualify” to say “no” and mean it. You are worthy. You are enough.
