Centering Safety: Honoring the Right to Request Female Carers

Some things should never be controversial.
A disabled woman or girl requesting a female caregiver should not be met with outrage, mockery, or moral judgment.

And yet—
All too often, women with disabilities are labeled “difficult,” “hateful,” “hard to accommodate,” or even “delusional” when they set this boundary.

They are made to feel like a burden.
A problem.
An inconvenience.

All for doing what any of us would do—asking to feel safe.

🔥 The Reality They Don’t Want to Name:

✅ Women and girls with disabilities are among the most vulnerable to sexual violence.
✅ They are also among the least likely to be believed when they disclose abuse.
✅ Many have been harmed by those hired to help.

Still, the moment they express a need for a female caregiver, the conversation shifts from safety to “accommodation politics.”

But this isn’t about preference.
It’s about protection.
It’s about power dynamics.
It’s about survival.

⚠️ We Must Stop Doing This:

• Stop pathologizing their boundaries.

• Stop acting like requesting care from a woman is hateful.

• Stop treating their lived experiences as irrational fears.

When safety is the baseline, not the battle, we all rise.

🌿 Affirmations for Disabled Women & Girls

🟣 My boundaries are valid, even when others don’t understand them.
🟣 I am allowed to feel safe—especially in vulnerable moments.
🟣 I do not need to explain away what my spirit knows to be true.
🟣 My needs are not hateful. My truth is not harmful.
🟣 I deserve care that respects my whole being.
🟣 I am not a problem. I am a person with wisdom born of survival.
🟣 What happened to me matters. What I need to feel safe matters even more.