Photo by Mehdi El marouazi/Unsplash.com

When you work in organizations that address violence against women, middle class women-especially those who are not minoritized- do not get this part. They think that heavy policing makes women safer in Black communities. They think that women who fail to work with police “just don’t understand what they are up against.” 

They don’t mind boldly sharing these thoughts. And, this is a circle of women with similar training and experience. The obstacles for women in violent, abusive, or toxic relationships are not just among people who “don’t know”. 

In too many communities, the police are everywhere—until you need them to show up for you.

Over-policing doesn’t just mean more patrol cars and more stops. It means more fear. More mistrust. And for domestic violence victims, it can mean the difference between reaching out for help… and staying silent.

Fear of Harm, Not Safety

When survivors see friends, neighbors, or family members hurt, arrested, or humiliated during police encounters—sometimes for minor or unrelated issues—they take note.

For Black women, immigrant women, LGB victims, and women with disabilities, calling the police can feel like flipping a coin. Will I get help? Or will I be handcuffed, misidentified as the aggressor, or have my children taken away?

Domestic violence Survivors shouldn’t have to gamble with their lives to get protection.

Trust Erodes First, Safety Follows

Domestic violence cases require connection, patience, and understanding. They require officers and advocates who listen, not just respond.

Over-policing flips that equation. It trains survivors to see police as enforcers, not protectors. That trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild—and without trust, Survivors don’t call.

Danger Can Increase After Contact

When an abuser is not arrested—or is quickly released—after police intervention, the Survivor’s risk can skyrocket.
In heavily policed neighborhoods, abusers often weaponize police presence as a threat: “If you call them, you know they’ll come for you.”

This turns the very tool meant to protect into another tool of control.

It’s Not Just Domestic Violence

When over-policing takes root, survivors of all crimes—sexual assault, child abuse, even bystander witnesses—may decide it’s safer to keep quiet. That silence doesn’t mean abuse has stopped. It means it’s hidden deeper and likely to spread.

What Survivors Deserve

• Community-based domestic violence response teams that are Survivor-centered, trauma-informed, and culturally competent.

• Clear primary-aggressor training for law enforcement to prevent wrongful arrests.

• Consistent connection between police, advocates, and Survivor networks so trust is built—not burned.

Because safety can’t grow in fear. And trust doesn’t survive under constant threat.

Survivors will take the risk to speak up when they believe someone will truly hear them, protect them, and stand with them. Over-policing kills that belief. We can—and must—do better.

*Meanwhile sundown towns remain safe from police presence because intimidating non-white citizens is “law-abiding” activity. Or something.