What We’ve Carried Was Never Meant for Us

They taught us early how to carry it.

The silence.
The secrets.
The shame.
The duty.

They said it was our role. Our burden. Our badge of strength.

They didn’t always say it with words—sometimes it was the way our tears were dismissed. The way the room shifted when we named our pain. The way we were told to keep it in the family, pray it away, or toughen up. The way they looked at us when we tried to fall apart. Silence.

So we learned.
How to carry pain like groceries.
How to carry blame like inheritance.
How to carry duty like destiny.

We called it strength.

But here’s the truth that the world tries to keep hidden:
What we’ve carried was never meant for us.

We were never meant to carry his violence and her silence.
We were never meant to carry systems that say, “You’re strong. You’ll survive.”
We were never meant to be everyone’s rock while no one came to hold ours.
We were never meant to swallow rage, shrink our stories, or pretend it didn’t hurt.

We were taught to carry shame for being abused.
Taught to blame ourselves for staying too long.
Taught to carry his secrets, her disappointment, and the entire community’s silence.
Taught that surviving quietly was better than speaking out loudly.

But we can unlearn that.

We must.

Because no woman—no girl—should have to carry:

• The burden of being believed or not.

• The guilt of not leaving fast enough.

• The shame of being harmed by someone she once trusted.

• The weight of an entire family or community’s denial.

That load belongs to the ones who caused harm.
That shame belongs to the system that failed to stop them.
That silence was never supposed to be yours to keep.

You were meant to carry:

• Dignity.

• Protection.

• Truth.

• Safety.

• Joy.

• Love that doesn’t bruise.

• Community that doesn’t question your pain.

• A future built on freedom—not survival alone.

Let’s name this out loud:
Blame, shame, and duty have made homes in the hearts of too many Black women.
But those were not our homes to begin with.
They were cages, not callings.

It is not your job to make people comfortable with your pain.
It is not your job to absorb what others refuse to face.
It is not your job to stay silent so the system can stay stable.

You are allowed to drop what was never yours to carry.

You are allowed to heal.
You are allowed to say, “I’m not carrying that anymore.”
And you are allowed to build something beautiful in its place.

What we’ve carried was never meant for us.
But what we’re building now?
That is ours.
And it will be sacred.

#WeSurviveAbuse
#HealingIsOurs
#DropTheBlame
#YouWereNeverMeantToCarryThat
#BlackWomenDeserveSoftness
#UnlearnTheWeight