selling us the cure for the recklessness they are quietly enabling.”…….

Honored to share another expert piece from The Way She Came on Substack…….

Some of us read this post over and over again!

Education. Information. Self-Preservation

What you are about to read comes from lived experience, clinical reality, and a level of honesty that is becoming harder to find in public spaces. It speaks to what many women—especially Black women—are quietly navigating, questioning, and carrying without enough clear, grounded information to support them.

The post on Substack comes from a nurse who has lived and worked through the height of the AIDS crisis and is now witnessing a new shift—one that many people are not talking about plainly.

This thought-warming piece breaks down what is happening at the intersection of modern HIV prevention, changing sexual behavior, and the real-life risks facing women—especially Black women.

It speaks to:

• how PrEP, while powerful, is being misunderstood and over-relied on
• how condom use is quietly declining
• how the message of “undetectable = untransmittable” is sometimes being used in ways that remove women’s ability to make informed choices
• how deception, silence, and entitlement continue to place women at risk
• and why Black women are still disproportionately impacted, often within relationships that are assumed to be safe

It does not deal in surface-level reassurance.
It deals in what is being seen, lived, and experienced in real time.

This is not about stigmatizing people. This is about health care.

Anytime Black women encounter health care we owe it to ourselves to ask more questions and make sure that we understand.

That we are very clear about the risks.

That we understand our responsibility.

The answers we are receiving to our questions are grounded in integrity and concern for our health, safety, and well-being.

Gratitude and appreciation to the Black Femicide Prevention Coalition for sharing this valuable information on Facebook. 

The post A Nurse Speaks: What They’re Not Telling Black Women About PrEP, Trust, and Risk appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

updated from June 9 2025

Weaponized Hypotheticals
Definition: When people—often men—create imagined stories about a woman’s love life (“She probably dates losers”) to mock, shame, or discredit her for making her own choices.

It sounds like:
“Bet she dates bums though.”
“She’s probably into toxic men.”
“She friend-zoned a good man and picked a project.”
“I’m sure she’ll regret this when she’s older.”

But let’s call it what it is:
A tactic.
A covert form of misogyny.
And a tool used to strip women of dignity and decision-making power—without ever knowing their actual story.

💢 Why it’s harmful:

• These made-up scenarios don’t come from facts.

• They come from resentment, rejection rage, and deep-seated entitlement.

• They publicly question a woman’s intelligence, judgment, and worth.

• They’re meant to punish her for daring to choose something—or someone—else.

⚠️ And make no mistake:

This behavior is not limited to one type of man.

• Men of all races, classes, religions, and sexual orientations engage in this.

• Many who claim to be allies still harbor the belief that a woman choosing differently is a personal offense.

• And yes—some women repeat these stories too.

  • They mock other women.

  • They support the ridicule.

  • They cheer on the shaming—sometimes to win approval, sometimes out of internalized misogyny.

📌 Let’s be honest:

None of this is meant to uplift women.
None of this is meant to support women.
None of this is about our well-being, our safety, our joy, or our freedom.

It’s about control.
Punishment.
And silencing.

🌀 Survivor Affirmation:

“They wrote fake stories about her to control the real one.
But she stopped listening to strangers who never loved her joy in the first place.
She’s writing this chapter herself—and it’s nothing like their fiction.”

📣 To all the women tired of being talked about like a cautionary tale:

Your life is not a morality play.
Your choices are not evidence in someone else’s ego battle.
You do not exist to prove a point.Create Link

You are not obligated to correct their fantasy.
You are allowed to live your truth boldly, joyfully, and on your own terms.

The post 🎯Weaponized Hypotheticals Are Not Harmless — They’re Punishment for a Woman’s Freedom appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

There is a scene in The Women of Brewster Place where the women get fed up with being cut off from all of the wonderful things on the on the other side of a brick wall. The final scene.

That brick wall also traps them in where there is a cycle of abuse, violence, poverty and bigotry. At the end of the television movie produced by Oprah (based on the novel written by Gloria Naylor) the women tear down the wall and vow to tear it down again if the city puts it back up.

There is something troubling happening in many conversations today.

Black Woman March

A new idea appears.
A new generation steps forward.
Energy rises. Passion rises. Critique rises.

All of that is natural.

Every generation questions the one before it. That is part of how societies grow.

But sometimes the critique goes further. It moves past learning, past reflection, past improvement. It turns into something else.

It turns into dismissal.

The suggestion becomes clear:

Push aside what came before.
Start fresh.
Act as if the earlier work holds little value and nothing was done for you.

That approach may sound bold. It may sound revolutionary.

But it is not wise.

Because the people who came before us were not simply speaking opinions. They were breaking through cement ……with their bare hands.

And cement is not easily broken.

And people who are criticizing them forget that you are doing it with the aid of wifi and on the latest digital technology. That’s something many around the globe, women and Black people are still unable to do. 

— The Cost of Breaking Through Cement
Many of the freedoms, opportunities, and conversations we see today exist because earlier generations fought for them under conditions far harsher than most people living today have experienced. 

They organized when the law was openly against them.

They spoke when speaking could cost them their jobs, their homes, or their safety.

They created art and culture even while their work was stolen or copied without recognition.

They built institutions while facing open hostility and constant barriers.

• Some lost employment.
• Some lost protection.
• Some lost their lives.

Still, they built.

They built language that named injustice.

They built strategies that shifted laws.

They built cultural movements that shaped the world.

They built spiritual frameworks that helped people survive suffering.

They built institutions that protected communities.

None of that was easy. None of it appeared overnight.

It was work done slowly, courageously, and often with very little recognition.

Even asking questions about why people like YOU don’t have what others have has made them instant pariahs. It put others on notice that they were not there to ‘go along to get along’.

 “The young walk faster, but the elder knows the road.”- African Proverb

They Were Not Perfect — And That Matters
Some voices today focus heavily on the imperfections of earlier generations.

Yes, they had flaws.

Yes, some ideas from the past need refinement.

But it is worth remembering something important.

Many of those elders were living through conditions far harsher than the ones we face today.

They lived under open segregation.

They lived under laws that limited where they could live, work, learn, or travel.

They faced violence that was often ignored by institutions.

They navigated systems that openly denied their humanity.

Under those conditions, perfection was never the standard.

Survival, courage, and persistence were.

And despite those harsh realities, they still managed to create pathways that changed the world.

That is not something to dismiss lightly.

“Don’t tear down a fence until you know why it was built.”

What Happens When Cultural Memory Is Ignored
When people forget what earlier generations built, something dangerous begins to happen.

Knowledge disappears.

Strategies that once worked are lost.

Communities begin solving the same problems over and over again, without realizing someone already left clues about how to move forward.

It slows progress.

It drains energy.

It leaves each generation feeling as though they must start from nothing.

That is not growth.

That is repetition.

Others See the Value Even When We Don’t
Across the world, people study the cultural, artistic, and political contributions that Black communities have created.

They study Black music.

They study Black organizing traditions.

They study Black rhetorical power.

They study Black community survival models.

Then they build on those ideas.

Meanwhile, within the very communities that created many of these breakthroughs, some voices are encouraged to treat them as outdated or embarrassing.

That is a painful contradiction.

Because when a people stop valuing their own cultural and intellectual inheritance, someone else will gladly carry it forward.

Critique Is Not the Problem
Critique is necessary.

No generation gets everything right.
No movement is perfect.

Critique helps refine ideas.
Critique helps correct mistakes.
Critique helps strengthen what is already strong.

But critique should lead to understanding and improvement, not erasure.

A healthy cultural rhythm often looks like this:

• Study what came before you.

• Honor the breakthroughs that made today possible.

• Learn the strategies behind those victories.

• Improve the parts that need strengthening.

• Then build something even better.

That is how wisdom grows across generations.

Celebrating Those Who Broke Through
The people who came before us were human beings navigating extremely difficult circumstances. Treacherous. A world that was not built for them to speak, live, or thrive.

They were not perfect.

But they were determined.

They opened doors that had been locked for generations.

They changed conversations that once seemed impossible to change.

They laid foundations that many people now walk across without realizing how hard the ground once was.

Their efforts deserve reflection.

They deserve study.

And yes, they deserve celebration.

Because celebrating those breakthroughs does not weaken new ideas.

It strengthens them.

“Critique can sharpen a legacy. But forgetting the people who broke

through cement only forces the next generation to start digging again.”

The Future Belongs to Builders

I worry that young people tend to overlook the struggles previous fighters have endured, believing that their own situation can’t worsen.

Movements grow stronger when each generation adds something meaningful to what already exists.

The elders broke through the concrete.

The next generation can widen the path.

The generation after that can build bridges.

And one day, the road becomes wide enough for many people to travel safely.

But that kind of progress only happens when people understand the value of the foundation beneath their feet.

History has taught us something simple.

When people forget the hands that broke the concrete, they often spend generations trying to dig through the same ground again.

The wiser path is different.

Remember the builders.

Learn from their work.

And then build something even stronger for those who will come after us.

“The elders broke through the cement. Our task is not to pretend the road began with us. Our task is to widen it.” -Tonya GJ Prince

By the way,

In many parts of the world:

• Wi-Fi is unreliable
• mobile data is expensive
• electricity can be inconsistent
• video streaming drains phones quickly

Reflection Questions: Remembering the People Beyond High-Speed Internet

• Who around the world depends on low-data spaces just to participate in conversations?

• Are we designing our messages only for people with strong internet access?

• What wisdom might we hear if we created more spaces for voice instead of polished media?

• How can audio conversations reach people who cannot stream video or download large files?

• Are we remembering that some of the most powerful traditions in human history were spoken, not posted?

• What would it look like to build movements that welcome people with simple phones and limited connectivity?

• How can we keep our work accessible to people in rural communities, developing nations, and working-class neighborhoods?

 “A river that forgets its source will soon run dry.”
— African proverb

P.S. Some of the resistance to listening to and studying previous generations and texts has people walking in wilderness circles. Nearly everyone has an opinion. What concrete are you breaking through to make it easier for others?

SEE THIS FILM! READ THE BOOK!!!

The post Why Forgetting the Wisdom of Elders Weakens Movements — And How Honoring Them Strengthens the Future appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

Why do some women have no friends, and what does it really say about them? In this video, we’re breaking down the 5 powerful personality traits women who don’t have friends often share, and why solitude is not always a weakness – it can be a sign of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and personal growth.

If you’ve ever felt alone, outgrown friendships, or struggled to find people who truly understand you, this video will help you understand the deeper psychological and emotional patterns behind it. Many women who spend time alone are not broken – they are evolving, setting boundaries, and developing a stronger relationship with themselves. This video is for women who are focused on becoming the best version of themselves, protecting their peace, and building meaningful connections instead of settling for surface-level friendships. If this resonates with you, you are not alone. You are becoming.

The post 5 traits women who don’t have friends share (featuring video by Tiffany Monday) appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

I was watching clips from Jesse Jackson’s homegoing service. Then all of a sudden, people who openly despised this man and ALL that he stood for pretended to care. Who even knew that they were paying attention? 

I have other things to do when they mourn the people among them who pass away. Or I find things to do. (I learned that as a girl. You would be getting on an elder’s nerves and they would tell you to find you something to do.)

I mentioned in another post that Jesse Jackson came to my church once. He was surrounded by security. Like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson did not live a life without critics and threats. 

People ask, “Why make everything about race?”

But for many of us, race was never optional.
It was never something we could turn on or off.

It shows up in how you are watched.
How you are questioned.
How your pain is doubted.
How your safety is negotiated.

So when people say, “Why bring race into it?”
what they are really asking is:

“Why won’t you pretend it isn’t happening?”

The truth is simple.

Many people in this country are allowed the luxury of ignoring race.
Others are forced to live inside its consequences every single day.

Silence does not protect you.
Quiet does not erase it.
Politeness does not dissolve it.

You may want peace.
But wanting peace does not mean you are granted it.

That is not bitterness.
That is observation.

And observation is where truth begins.

Reality does not become less real because someone is uncomfortable hearing it.

Survivors of violence and abuse know, reality does not care about your feelings.

The post The Neuroscience of Political Tribalism | Why You Can’t Think Straight appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

“You know good and well that a boundary never did a damn thing to you.

But a male has every potential to AND be excused for doing it.

Because he is a male.

Tale as old as time.”

Tonya GJ Prince

We are living through a time when children—especially girls—are being taught something deeply dangerous:

That having boundaries is “hate.”

That discomfort is “hate.”

That asking questions is “hate.”

And that girls should silence their instincts in order to prove they are “good” or “inclusive.”

That lesson is not kindness.
It is conditioning.

And it puts girls at risk.

Girls Are Being Told to Override Their Own Safety Instincts

Across schools, online spaces, and public conversations, many girls are receiving the same message:

If you feel uncomfortable, you are the problem.

If you question a situation that involves privacy, nudity, or personal space, you are hateful.

If you want to understand what is happening so you can assess your safety, you are intolerant.

In other words:

No questions allowed.
Just be quiet and deal with it.

For any child—especially a girl learning to navigate the world—this is an extremely dangerous lesson.

Safety begins with awareness.
Awareness begins with questions.

Discomfort Is Not Hate

Even in traditional spaces like locker rooms, many girls and women have never felt fully comfortable being partially or fully nude around others.

That reality has always existed.

Some women are modest.
Some have experienced past violations.
Some simply prefer privacy.

None of that is hatred.

The expectation that women and girls must feel comfortable being partially nude, fully nude, or emotionally exposed in front of another person—no questions asked— is not compassion.

It is coercion.

When someone demands your comfort without your consent, that is not inclusion.

That is pressure.

And pressure around bodies and boundaries has always been a warning sign.

This Pattern Is Not New

History is full of moments where girls were told:

• Don’t question authority

• Don’t make others uncomfortable

• Don’t create conflict

• Don’t embarrass anyone

In other words: don’t defend yourself.

Millions upon millions of women carry memories of what happened when their discomfort was ignored, dismissed, or mocked.

That is why teaching girls to trust their instincts matters so deeply.

Preparing Girls for Reality

When I posted about this topic online, another woman raised an important point:

There has always been resistance when girls begin to set boundaries.

Girls who say “no” are often labeled difficult.

Girls who ask questions are labeled rude.

Girls who protect themselves are labeled hateful.

This pattern has existed for generations.

Which means our responsibility is clear.

We must prepare girls for it.

What Girls Need to Know

Girls deserve to grow up knowing:

• Their safety instincts are valuable.

• Discomfort is information, not wrongdoing.

• Questions are part of protecting themselves.

• Boundaries are healthy.

• Their bodies belong to them.

Most importantly:

They must know that safe adults will stand with them when they say no.

Real Diversity Does Not Erase Boundaries

Authentic diversity does not require people to abandon their values, beliefs, or sense of safety.

Real diversity brings people with different beliefs and experiences into shared spaces with respect.

Harmony does not mean takeover.

And inclusion does not mean that girls must surrender their privacy, dignity, or bodily autonomy.

Women and girls are entitled to boundaries wherever they live their lives:

• In schools

• In locker rooms

• In doctor’s offices

• In workplaces

• In their homes

• In their communities

Health and safety are not negotiable privileges.

They are basic human rights.

A Difficult Truth

Some of the strongest enforcers of diminished boundaries for women and girls are sometimes other women.

That reality is painful.

But it is also understandable.

Many people have been taught for years that silence is kindness and that compliance is virtue.

Some have been conditioned so effectively that they now believe defending girls’ boundaries is wrong.

Even so, the responsibility remains the same.

Protect girls anyway.

Teach them anyway.

Stand with them anyway.

Because every generation of girls deserves to grow up knowing something simple and powerful:

Their safety matters.
Their dignity matters.
And their “no” is enough.

Am I Selfish for Setting Boundaries? (audio) | WE Survive Abuse

Sex-Based Bill of Rights for Women and Girls (FREE download) | WE Survive Abuse

18 Signs You May Not Be as Pro-Woman as You Believe You Are | WE Survive Abuse

How Male Violence Taught Women & Girls to Attack One Another (audio) | WE Survive Abuse

The post When Girls’ Boundaries Are Rebranded as “Hate” (featuring Boundary Setting video from Dr. Tracey Marks) appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

updated from May 4 2025

They will call it selfish.
They will call it rude.
They will call it unnecessary.
But you know better.

Boundaries are not walls to keep people out.
They are doorways to let truth in.

Boundaries build your personal power—brick by brick, truth by truth.
They are how you say:
“I know myself. I trust myself. I protect what is sacred within me.”

🌿 Boundaries Are Not Just Protection—They Are Power.

Every time you set a boundary, 

you are affirming that you are worth protecting.
That your time has value.
That your energy is not a public resource.
That your body, your heart, your peace—are yours.

Boundaries tell the world:
“I no longer participate in my own harm.”

🛑 Without Boundaries, Power Leaks Out

When you say yes while your soul screams no,
When you stay quiet to keep the peace but lose yourself in the process,
When you make space for people who drain, manipulate, or diminish you—
you chip away at your power, one silent compromise at a time.

The absence of boundaries is the open door that invites chaos.
It is how we are taught to disappear—slowly, politely, and completely.

But not anymore.

✊🏾 Boundaries Reclaim What Was Taken

For so many Survivors, boundaries were shattered before we knew how to build them.
We were taught to endure, to please, to stay small.
But healing invites us to unlearn survival at the cost of self.

With every boundary you build, you rebuild your sense of home within yourself.
You become safer. Stronger. Louder. More rooted. More you.

💜 Affirm This:

“Every time I set a boundary, I honor the version of me that once had none.
I am not here to be consumed.
I am here to be whole.”

Dear Survivor,
Boundaries are not a rejection of love.
They are a requirement for real love.
They are how you teach the world how to treat you—
And how you remind yourself that you are worth the respect you never received before.

Keep building.
Keep protecting.
Your power is rising.

The post Boundaries: The Blueprint of Personal Power (featuring video from Alonna Elaine) appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

updated from November 18 2025

If the harm is sex-specific, the language has to be sex-specific.
Especially for Black women.
Especially in maternal health.

Black women have always understood the power of naming. (My own mother adorned me with a name that has deep symbolic and guiding light meaning. We talked about it often throughout my childhood. Wings for the treacherous journey.)

We insist on saying Black because history taught us that if we don’t name ourselves, the world will not only erase us, they will keep harming us. And repeat. And repeat. And then act as if they did not know it was wrong to harm Black people because you do not like us. Work the cycle.

But when it comes to our womanhood, many of us still hesitate.
We soften.
We widen the circle.
We include everyone—because we were taught that if we didn’t, we were being selfish.

We learned to dim our truth so others would not call us divisive.
We learned to carry everyone else’s struggle on our backs, even when our own bodies were breaking.

But maternal health is not the place to practice self-erasure.
Not when Black women are dying.
Not when our pregnancies, our pain, our losses, and our victories happen inside female bodies, shaped by biology and scarred by history.

Sex-based language is not exclusion.
It is not a lack of generosity.
It is not a failure of solidarity.

It is survival.

It is the clarity we need to protect Black women’s lives.

Why Black Women Must Speak Plainly About Our Womanhood

Our maternal crisis is not random.
It is not generic.
It is not “for everyone.”

It targets us because we are Black and because we are women.

Every single injustice—dismissed pain, misdiagnosis, preventable death, disrespect in labor, unnecessary surgeries—falls at the intersection of our race and our sex.

If we blur either part—Blackness or womanhood—we lose the truth.
And when the truth becomes blurred, the danger becomes invisible.

Black women cannot afford that. 

We Think We Are Being Kind. But Often, We Are Being Conditioned…Again

Black women are trained from girlhood to be caretakers of the whole:

to make room

to soften demands

to never center ourselves

to never speak too specifically about our needs

to never inconvenience anyone

to never be “too Black,” “too female,” or “too particular”

We’ve been shaped to believe that advocating for ourselves is selfish.

But real self-care—the kind Audre Lorde spoke of—is not selfish.
It is self-preservation.
It is political warfare.
It is the courage to say:

I am a Black woman.
My life matters.
My womanhood matters.
My survival matters.
And I do not have to dilute my language to be worthy of care.

This Is Why Sex-Based Language Matters

Pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, postpartum crisis—these are not abstract human experiences.
They are biological events that happen to female bodies.

If we do not name the body, we cannot protect the body.

If we do not say “Black women,” the system defaults to being allegedly “colorblind”—which has never protected us.

If we do not say “maternal health,” the data disappears.

Clear language is not harm.
Clear language is the lifeline.

A Teaching Moment for Anyone Who Truly Wants to Stand With Us

Use the words “Black women.”

Use the words “maternal health.”

Use “girl child marriage“. Who is out here marrying little boys? Boys are being assaulted and harmed and WE are disgusted enough to write and speak about it on the internet that is forever and in person too. BUT who is marrying them, entrapping them, impregnating them, jacking their innocence? Name the harm. Name the harmer.

Use the words “female human bodies” “girl” and “women” when you mean pregnancy. Even when they gasp and call you hateful. The hate is what is happening to women. The hate is the fact that too often grown men are impregnating girls. But all the reasons that we can’t say true words center men’s feelings. 

Don’t replace our reality with vagueness. Refuse.

Don’t make our crisis unsearchable or un-trackable. 

Don’t make our womanhood disappear to be polite.

If you want to help us, name us.

We are not concepts.
We are not footnotes.
We are not categories inside categories.

We are Black women.
And the world must finally learn to care for us as Black women. That’s a beautiful thing. Not something to hide or dilute. Not something unsayable. 

Black women are a divine creation. 

A Rallying Cry for Our Own Souls

This is the self-care Audre Lorde meant:

The moment when a Black woman finally says,
“I deserve to speak plainly about what happens to my body.”

The moment we stop performing softness for others.
The moment we choose clarity over comfort.
The moment we choose survival over silence.

Naming ourselves is not selfish.
It is sacred.

It is protective.

It is how we make sure every Black mother comes home with her baby.

We name us clearly so we can protect us fully.

*** People can name themselves whatever they choose (see how we love), but what we cannot afford to do is allow others to un-name Black women…and then DEMAND and REQUIRE that we do the same.

The post Does Naming Ourselves Hurt Anyone? No. Erasing Us Does. appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

Rousing! Theatrical one-sheet for Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am

updated from July 11, 2025

— Especially When We’re Still Doing Most of the Work for Less Pay

This piece honors the fact that women perform approximately 76.2% of total hours of unpaid care work globally—three times more than men—according to the International Labour Organization (ILO). And despite this, the global gender pay gap remains at roughly 20%, with even wider gaps for Black, Indigenous, and disabled women.

1. Other People’s Comfort With Injustice

Sometimes people would rather stay comfortable than face hard truths. But it’s not on us to make injustice feel gentle. Truth is how healing begins, even if it stings at first.

2. Every Emotion in the Room

We’ve been taught to smooth things over, calm things down, keep the peace. But it’s okay to step back. It’s not your job to carry every feeling but your own.

3. The Broken Pieces We Didn’t Break

Whether it’s a workplace, a family, or a relationship—if it was built without care or respect, we don’t have to be the glue that keeps it going. Especially if it’s hurting us.

4. Making Everyone Else Look Good

Women have long been expected to “take the high road” for the sake of community, family, or reputation. But we matter too. Being silent to keep others comfortable is not the same as being strong.

5. Someone Else’s Healing They Won’t Choose

You can love someone and still realize you can’t heal them. Especially if they don’t want to change. That’s not failure—that’s wisdom.

6. Outdated Ideas of What a “Good Woman” Should Be

Gentle doesn’t mean silent. Kind doesn’t mean boundary-less. It’s okay to grow out of roles that shrink you.

7. Guilt That Was Passed Down Like an Heirloom

Maybe you were taught to carry too much. Maybe the women before you had to survive by staying quiet. You get to choose something different—and still honor their survival.

8. Fixing People Who Keep Breaking You

It’s not your job to explain basic respect. If someone keeps crossing your line, it’s okay to walk away—quietly or loudly.

9. Being “the Strong One” All the Time

Strength is not about always holding it together. Real strength is asking for help, falling apart sometimes, and still choosing to keep going. You deserve to rest, too.

10. The Emotional Gaps Left by Absent Fathers, Leaders, or Partners

Women often step in where others step out. But some of those gaps were never meant to be filled by us in the first place. Let that be their work.

11. The Harm That’s Done in the Name of Love

Love should never ask you to shrink, suffer, or stay silent. If it does, that’s not love. That’s control dressed up in sweet words.

12. Proving That You Matter

You don’t need to explain, over-perform, or prove your worth. You being here is proof enough.

💗 Gentle Reminder:
If no one told you today—your job was never to fix the whole world. Your only job is to live your truth, protect your peace, and love yourself like someone worth saving.

1. 🛑 I will not silence myself to make injustice feel more comfortable to others.

Boundary: “I speak the truth with love—and I don’t shrink to make room for what’s wrong.”

2. 🧘🏾 I’m allowed to step back from emotional overload.

Boundary: “I can care without carrying it all. My peace matters too.”

3. 🧩 I am not the fixer of things I didn’t break.

Boundary: “I choose not to take responsibility for problems I did not create.”

4. 🎭 I no longer sacrifice my well-being to protect someone else’s image.

Boundary: “I won’t wear a mask to make others look better. My truth stands as it is.”

5. 🕊️ I release the need to heal people who refuse to heal themselves.

Boundary: “I can love you without losing myself. Your healing is your path.”

6. 🌱 I don’t have to be boxed into outdated roles to be worthy.

Boundary: “I give myself permission to evolve—even if others don’t understand it.”

7. 🧺 I set down the guilt that doesn’t belong to me.

Boundary: “I no longer carry emotional weight passed down through generations.”

8. 🚪 I don’t stay in spaces where I’m repeatedly harmed.

Boundary: “If it hurts me, I have the right to leave—even if they don’t think I should.”

9. 🛏️ I deserve rest. I do not have to be strong every moment of the day.

Boundary: “I can be soft, tired, and human. My strength does not require exhaustion.”

10. 🧩 I am not a replacement for what others refuse to be or become.

Boundary: “I am not filling in for absent effort. I’m choosing to preserve my energy.”

11. 💔 Love should never require me to hurt myself.

Boundary: “I do not accept pain as proof of love. Love does not leave bruises on the soul.”

12. 🕯️ I do not have to prove my worth to deserve respect.

Boundary: “I am not here to earn dignity. It is already mine.”

💬 Reflection Prompt:
Which one of these boundaries do you most need today? Write it down. Speak it aloud. Place it somewhere visible. Your boundaries are not walls—they are doors with locks and keys, and you hold the key.

✊🏾 Womanist Wisdom Says:
“Our sacred labor deserves sacred rest. Let the world learn to carry what we’ve been forced to hold alone.”
— Tonya GJ Prince

💡 Women do more than 76% of the world’s unpaid care work—cooking, caregiving, cleaning, emotional labor—and still earn around 20% less than men globally.
(Source: International Labour Organization)

The post 12 Things It Is Not Women’s Job to Fix appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.

We are not just Black.
We are not just women….or girls
We are Black women and Black girls
and we need care, health, and safety.

You don’t get to claim you care about justice
if disabled children, silenced girls, and war-torn mothers
don’t count because their healing would cost you comfort. 

Or a male you have taken a liking to. 

You don’t get to use our magic,
our music,
our memes,
our voices—
but ignore our cries when the harm comes. AND assist us in trying to prevent harm.

Some people call themselves allies.
But their “support” vanishes when we name male violence.

🕯️ For the Silenced Ones:

• For the Black woman or girl who told her story and lost her friends.

• For the disabled girl who was taught not to fight back or speak up.

• For the woman in Sudan, Haiti, Congo,—who buried her child and still had to cook for others the next day.

• For the girl in the group home who wasn’t believed.

• For the woman in the church who dared to say, “My husband hurt me,” and was told to “pray harder.”

We see you.
We believe you.
We speak for you if you are unable, even when others refuse to.

⚠️ If You Only See Our Value in What We Do for You…

You do not love us.
You do not see us.
You are not safe.

Love that refuses to protect is not love.
Love that refuses to listen is not love.
Love that demands we keep serving while wounded—is not love. It’s exploitation.

🔥 Call to Action:

Stop asking Black women and Black girls to carry everything and everyone—including our abusers.
Start building systems where safety doesn’t require us to be silent.
Start believing that WE deserve to rest, rage, and rise.

We will not beg to be seen anymore.
We will not water down the truth to keep your comfort.

We are done being mirrors for everyone else’s greatness—
while being denied the right to our own healing.

Our silence ends here.

Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs.
And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.

[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]

The post You See Our Blackness, But Not Our Bruises appeared first on WESurviveAbuse.