Many believe the 1980s to early 2000s were a time of racial harmony in America, especially within the women's movement to end violence. But for Black,
Many believe the 1980s to early 2000s were a time of racial harmony in America, especially within the women’s movement to end violence. But for Black, Indigenous, and other marginalized people, the silence around colonialism, slavery, systemic racism, and generational trauma told a very different story.
đĽ The Myth: âIt Was Peaceful, Post-Racial, and Unifiedâ
âThe Cosby Showâ was on TV. A Different World came on right after.Â
Oprah was rising through the stratosphere.
VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) became law in 1994.
People pointed to Black celebrities, interracial friendships, or high-profile political appointments as proof that things were âbetter.â That âwe were past all that.â Racism was as out of style as low waist bell bottoms.Â
But thatâs not what many of us lived through. Not at all. Because this was when our communities were demonized for substance dependence. Little did we know empathy and compassion for substance dependence would all of the sudden be standard when addiction to pain pills swept through white suburbs like it had hit Black communities decades earlier.
Only we were jailed, imprisoned, abused by judges, treatment staff, taken from our children……
đŻ The Reality: Racial Silence, Suppression, and Tokenism
Inside the mainstream movement to end violence against women, many of us experienced:
1. Representation Without Respect
The handful who were hired too often left quicklyâdriven out by isolation, erasure, and hostility to our truths.
2. Hostility to Historical Truths
We were told:
âDonât make this about race.â
âThatâs divisive.â
âWeâre all women here.â
âThis is a class issue, not a race issue.â (Oh? Please tell that to the racists who are acting out of some unreasonable and dangerous contempt for people who look like me. Inform them. Please. )Â
Any attempt to speak about:
Colonialism
The epidemic of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women
Generational trauma or systemic poverty
âŚwas often met with accusations of being racist, angry, or off-topic. You could attend a âdiversityâ panel, but not name the root causes. Every Survivor knows that people will have the nerve. The gall. The audacity to look you in the eye and throw a tantrum because your history of suffering made them feel un-cozy. Non-plush. Uneasy.Â
Can you imagine the insanity of sitting in a room with people who have high level expertise in violence, rape, abuse, and assault are uncomfortable discussing violence, rape, abuse, and assault?
And it was all because your colleague boldly said, “Well, we’re going to have to discuss the impact of slavery and how families are impacted.”Â
3. Solutions Demanded, But Truths Denied
We were asked to:
âHelp reach your community.â
âBring them in.â
âTranslate and build trust.â
But when we spoke plainly about whyyyyyy trust was brokenâ
when we named the medical neglect, police violence, unconfronted bias, lack of genuine empathy and compassion, family court failures, or language access barriersâ
We were subtly punished for being ânegative.â Some women’s issues and grievances were considered valid while other groups were not.Â
Some people want access to you but don’t want to do the work to understand you. Such people think that they will make you understand once they achieve the access they desire. Happens all the time.Â
đş âBut There Were Black People on TVâŚâ
This line was used like a weapon:
âI donât get what you mean. There are Black people on TV. There is Oprah!â
As if TV presence erased real-world inequity.
True enough. The Black television shows, the Black models, the Black music was firing hot.
Meanwhile:
Black women were still dying at the hands of partners at disproportionate rates.Â
Indigenous and Black women were still going missing without a trace.
Women of color advocates were being undermined, silenced, or tokenized.
Television didnât protect us. Visibility is not the same as justice.
đ Why This Myth Still Hurts Us Today
This revisionist memory keeps us stuck.
It allows people to say:
âWhy are you bringing up race again?â
âThings were better before everyone got so divided.â
But hereâs the truth:
There was no true harmony. There was just enforced silence. Just like in a dysfunctional household where people have to pretend a bit to keep the peace.Â
đĽ Letâs Tell the Whole Story
If we are serious about ending violence against women, we must be serious about telling the truth:
Yes, there was limited progress.
Yes, some brave spaces were carved by brave people and on the backs of even braver people.
But Black, Indigenous, and other marginalized voices were sidelined, especially when we spoke about the deeper, harder truths.
đą The Path Forward: Legacy and Correction
We are still here.
We didnât vanishâwe built parallel movements, found each other, and kept the fire lit.
We survived being silenced.
We survived being sidelined.
Now we are telling the whole storyâand itâs still being written.
đ§ Call to Action
If you care about ending violence, ask yourself:
Whose voices were left out then?
Who is being asked to stay silent now?
Are you listening to Survivorsâor just the story that feels comfortable?
Letâs build truth-based movements.
Letâs honor the wisdom of those who were thereâeven when the room wasnât ready for them.
* Listen, I did not last as long as I have in this work without genuine allies, accomplices, and real friendships that cross the bridge of all differences to women like me. Just knowing them enriched my life and I’m told that I enriched theirs. (I smiled and typed that slowly because I got lost in those beautiful memories)
Nevertheless, there still are far too few to make things universally better for the all of the girls and young ladies coming behind us.Â