Reality: Women Are Only as Safe as the Boundaries and Protections We Demand One of the most misleading and harmful ideas about women’s safety is the
Reality: Women Are Only as Safe as the Boundaries and Protections We Demand
One of the most misleading and harmful ideas about women’s safety is the belief that “women are safe as long as there are good men around.” This myth lulls people into thinking that the presence of well-intentioned men is enough to deter violence, coercion, or abuse. But history, statistics, and the lived experiences of Survivors tell a different story.
Why This Myth Is Dangerous
At its core, this argument shifts responsibility for women’s safety away from systems, policies, and individual boundaries and onto the hope that “good men” will intervene. But here’s the truth:
- Most acts of violence against women happen in private spaces, away from witnesses. Good men can’t intervene if they don’t know what’s happening.
- Many “good men” remain silent or neutral out of fear of social consequences. They don’t want to upset friendships, damage their reputations, or challenge other men in positions of power.
- Some men who appear “good” in public are dangerous in private. Abusers often craft a respectable, friendly, or even charming persona to avoid suspicion.
A woman’s safety cannot depend on whether a good man happens to be nearby, willing, or aware enough to intervene. It must be rooted in her own ability to set boundaries, enforce them, and have those boundaries respected by society at large.
History Shows That Good Men Are Not Enough
If “good men” were all it took to protect women, we would not have:
- Centuries of legalized oppression, where men in power created, enforced, and upheld laws that treated women as property.
- Endless reports of sexual abuse in institutions, from churches to schools to the military—many of which had plenty of “good men” who failed to stop it.
- Generations of women begging to be believed, while their abusers moved freely in society, often enabled by the silence of “good men.”
If history has taught us anything, it is that the silence, complacency, or hesitation of men—no matter how “good” they are—has allowed harm against women to continue.
Women’s Safety Must Be Built on Structural Protection, Not Luck
Relying on men’s goodwill is not a strategy—it’s a gamble. True safety comes from:
✔ Strong safeguarding policies that protect women’s spaces from male intrusion, coercion, or exploitation.
✔ Legal protections that recognize the unique vulnerabilities of women and girls in a society still shaped by male dominance.
✔ A culture that teaches women to trust their instincts, set boundaries, and enforce them—without being shamed for it.
✔ Education that dismantles the idea that men are natural protectors and women are passive recipients of their protection.
Safety Should Not Depend on Who Happens to Be in the Room
If women’s safety depends on “good men being around,” then it disappears the moment they leave. This is unacceptable. Women should be safe because society upholds their boundaries, protects their spaces, and refuses to make excuses for those who violate them.
The next time someone says, “Women are safe as long as there are good men around,” remind them: Women deserve to be safe because we demand it, not because we hope for the kindness of men.
