She Would Not Submit

A mother of two was killed. Joyce Quaweay.

In front of children.
By two men.
Both police officers.
Both trained, armed, and protected by a system that too often refuses to protect women.

Their reason?
She would not submit.

Let that sit with you.
Because it echoes louder than we want to believe.

Too often, society romanticizes submission when it’s demanded from women.
We’re told it’s just tradition.
Just femininity.
Just how relationships work.

But what happens when “submission” is enforced with threats?
What happens when “submission” is demanded by men with badges and guns?
What happens when “submission” means erasing your voice, your boundaries, your very self?

That’s not love.
That’s not respect.
That’s violence waiting to happen.

We must stop minimizing the red flags.

“She didn’t listen.” “She talked back.” “She challenged him.” “She didn’t do what he said.”

These are not harmless comments.
They are justifications used by abusers.
They are rationalizations offered by systems that fail to protect women.
They are warning signs we need to take seriously.

This mother should be here.
Laughing with her children.
Living her life freely and fully.
Her life was not a lesson—but we must learn from what was done to her.

Because submission should never be a requirement for safety.

No woman or girl should have to make herself small, silent, or scared just to survive.
Not at home.
Not in the workplace.
Not in relationships.
And never in front of law enforcement.

Let’s be clear:

✨ Submission is not the same as safety.
✨ Submission is not the same as love.
✨ Submission is not protection—it is often the prelude to control, coercion, and violence.

As we honor her memory, we must speak the truth:

Submission is not a virtue when demanded through fear.
It is a warning. And it is deadly.

To every woman reading this:
You do not owe submission to anyone.
You deserve freedom.
You deserve safety.
You deserve to live.