If Any of Your Relationships Run on Silence and Lies, It’s Time to Reclaim Your Voice

I need to speak to you plain today.

There comes a time in healing when you must take a long, hard look around you and ask:
Who benefits from my silence?

Not just the people who harmed you.

But the ones who gently, quietly, or even lovingly persuaded you not to speak on it.
Not to “make waves.”
Not to “drag up old stuff.”
Not to “ruin reputations.”

Not to “hurt feelings.”

The same people who were never concerned about the little girl who was hurting.
Or the grown woman trying to hold herself together with breath, prayers, and a mustard seed of faith.

Let’s talk about the kind of people who don’t physically harm you, but every time you open your mouth to speak truth, they flinch or cast a side eye. 

Or worse—they correct you.

Many of us who were abused in childhood know this too well.

We remember being told that what we saw, we didn’t see.
That what we felt, we shouldn’t feel.
That the people who made us uncomfortable were just “being nice.”
That our bodies didn’t belong to us.
That being silent was safer than being honest.

And for many of us, silence was survival.
For a time.

But now?
We’re no longer children.
We’re no longer at their mercy.
We’re no longer confused.

And we are no longer calling people “good” when what they did was harm.

We know the difference between comfort and control.
We know that gaslighting is not love.
We know that silence is not peace.
We know that pretending not to see it won’t make it disappear.

And we are no longer entertaining connections with people who only stay close to keep us from walking in truth.

You see, the stronger we got, the more clearly we saw them.
Their smiles didn’t fool us anymore.
Their “love” stopped sounding like love and started sounding like manipulation.

And we began to realize:
Some people only stay close so you’ll stay quiet.

Because hear me:

Truth tellers will always be “too much” for people who rely on confusion to stay in control.

But confusion is not your calling.

Your silence does not make the world safer.
It makes it easier for harm to keep walking around in daylight, unchallenged.

Your clarity is not “mean.”
It is not “too much.”
It is holy.

So I ask you, in love and truth:
Who in your life flinches when you start telling the truth?
Who needs you to stay confused so they can stay comfortable?
Who do you keep calling “family,” “friend,” “ally”, “partner” or “leader,” when deep down you know—they do not honor the truth of who you are?

Your voice is not a liability. It is a lifeline.

And you are allowed to break every unholy agreement that ever told you to dim your light to protect someone else’s shadow.

This ain’t about revenge.
It’s about returning to yourself.

🕯️ Final Word:
Reconsider those connections.
Not out of hate—but out of healing.

Reclaim your voice.
Not to make noise—but to make room.

Because when Survivors rise in truth, the whole earth shifts.

🕯️ Permission slip:

• Reconsider your closeness to people who require your silence to stay comfortable.

• Reconsider your alliances with people who love you better when you’re confused.

• Reconsider your loyalty to people who resent your clarity, your healing, your truth.

✨ Reflection Question:
Who in your life seems allergic to your truth? Why are they still that close?

📖 Affirmation:
I speak the truth—even if my voice trembles. Even if the crowd thins. Even if the only amen I hear is from my own spirit.

💜

• You are not wrong for remembering.

• You are not bitter for speaking.

• You are not divisive for choosing clarity.

• You are not difficult for refusing to lie to yourself anymore.