When someone dismisses violence, mocks Survivors, or excuses abuse, they’re not neutral. They’re signaling the kind of safety they intend to build—on
When someone dismisses violence, mocks Survivors, or excuses abuse, they’re not neutral.
They’re signaling the kind of safety they intend to build—one where harm is tolerated and truth is silenced.
Leaders who excuse abuse don’t bring peace; they bring danger.
They build environments where predators are protected, where victims are questioned, and where silence becomes policy.
They call it “balance” or “grace.”
But for Survivors, it feels like betrayal. Because it IS.
True safety starts with accountability.
It begins when a community says, “We don’t look away from harm. We name it.”
That’s where healing and wisdom live—in the clarity to see patterns and the courage to break them.
If someone’s record shows that they protect abusers, discredit victims, or turn empathy into a performance, that’s not a leader
creating safety—that’s someone rehearsing control.
And for women, especially, the challenge is to notice the emotional pull that asks us to forgive the inexcusable.
To believe that harm-doers can guide us simply because they appear powerful or polished.
That illusion has cost too many of us too much.
The truth is, our healing begins when we no longer confuse charm with character.
When we remember that protection isn’t something handed down—it’s something we build, together, from discernment, honesty, and courage.
Bullies and Cowards: A Natural Alliance in the Abuse of Women and Vulnerable Adults