So you were “right.”You “saw the signs.”You “told her he wasn’t good.”You “would’ve left sooner.”You “would never let that happen to you.” But here’s
So you were “right.”
You “saw the signs.”
You “told her he wasn’t good.”
You “would’ve left sooner.”
You “would never let that happen to you.”
But here’s the truth:
Your self-righteousness will not protect her.
Your judgment will not change the system.
And your attitude will not save the next woman.
While you’re busy being “right,” here are 25 things still hurting victims of domestic violence every single day—long after the relationship ends.
💥 25 Things Your Self-Righteousness Will NOT Fix:
The lack of safe female only, available shelter beds for women fleeing abuse with children.
The waitlist for trauma-informed therapy—especially for low-income or uninsured Survivors.
The hoops a Survivor must jump through just to get a protective order.
The “proof” Survivors are expected to provide before being believed.
The light sentences and weak consequences for abusers—even after serious harm.
The fact that many police officers dismiss, mock, or arrest the victim.
Family courts that grant custody to known abusers.
Workplaces that fire or penalize women who miss work due to violence.
Lack of culturally competent support for Black women, immigrants, non English speaking, rural residing, faith-based, Survivors, and disabled Survivors.
The fact that many victims are still financially trapped due to economic abuse.
The victim-blaming embedded in media, church sermons, and school health classes.
The lack of free legal representation for victims who can’t afford a lawyer.
Healthcare professionals who don’t screen for abuse—or dismiss it when they hear it.
The fear of being shamed or doubted by your own family or community.
The fact that some Survivors stay quiet because they already know no one will help.
Abusers who continue stalking, threatening, and controlling long after the relationship ends.
The thousands of women murdered each year after trying to leave.
Judges who allow abuse to continue under the disguise of “shared parenting.”
The lack of emergency housing that lets a woman leave immediately.
The “he said, she said” excuses that let abusers walk free.
The silence of bystanders who knew but said nothing.
The trauma that shows up in future relationships, pregnancies, and parenting.
The way Survivors are interrogated when they finally speak out.
A system that still demands perfection from the victim and none from the abuser.
The shame that still silences girls and women across every background, zip code, and culture.
If your only contribution is:
“She should’ve known better,”
then you are not helping.
You’re upholding the same system she’s trying to survive.
You’re doing the work of the abuser—just without raising your hand.
💬 So what will help?
💬 So what will help?Listening.
Believing.
Giving.
Learning.
Voting.
Advocating.
Showing up without judgment.
Changing policy.
Asking Survivors what they need—and respecting their answers.
Healing takes time.
Safety takes resources.
And change takes more than pointing fingers.
Be the kind of person who makes it easier to leave, not harder to heal.
* You “I told you so” and “she should have known better” people will likely never hear from Survivors. They make a mental note not to go to you all.
#WeSurviveAbuse
#StopVictimBlaming
#SupportSurvivors
#DomesticViolenceAwareness
#SelfRighteousnessWontSaveHer
#CenterTheSurvivor
#ChangeTheSystemNotTheStory
