✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com In courtroom after courtroom, from high-profile celebrity trials to quietly buried local cases, a deeply disturbing pattern
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✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
In courtroom after courtroom, from high-profile celebrity trials to quietly buried local cases, a deeply disturbing pattern emerges:
Abusers and traffickers often demand to be called certain names.
Not just casually.
Not playfully.
But as a rule.
As a requirement.
As a form of domination.
Whether it’s “Daddy,” “Boss,” “Sir,” “King,” “Master,” or even a pet name that masks harm with sweetness, this is not about intimacy. This is about control.
🧠 It’s Psychological Warfare Disguised as Affection
At first glance, it might sound harmless or even romantic—until you hear it from a Survivor’s perspective. In many cases, the trafficker or abuser demands to be called a specific name at all times, in all situations, no matter how the Survivor feels.
This isn’t about preference.
It’s about erasing identity.
It’s about rewriting reality.
It’s about conditioning compliance.
🔐 The Purpose Behind the Name
These name demands serve several sinister purposes:
Power Reinforcement:
The abuser defines the dynamic. You don’t get to call them by their real name—because the real name implies they are human, fallible, accountable. They prefer a title of authority, fantasy, or reverence.Control of Language = Control of Thought:
If the trafficker controls what you call them, they start to control how you think about them. This is a tactic used in cults, domestic violence, trafficking, and totalitarian regimes alike.Erasure of Self:
Victims may not be allowed to use their own names either. In some trafficking situations, Survivors report being renamed, rebranded, and referred to by nicknames or numbers.Attachment Through Grooming:
Names like “Daddy” are especially chilling when the abuser exploits a Survivor’s history of abandonment or early trauma. It’s manufactured intimacy that traps Survivors in emotional confusion.
🧾 Seen in the Courts
In the lawsuit filed by Cassie Ventura against Sean “Diddy” Combs, and in similar cases involving R. Kelly, Jeffrey Epstein, and other traffickers, Survivors consistently describe rules, routines, and required names:
“I wasn’t allowed to call him by his name.”
“He told me to only call him ‘Daddy.’”
“He said I was disrespecting him if I didn’t say it right.”
These testimonies are not anecdotes. They are patterns—patterns of coercive control, used to strip people of voice, identity, and will.
🚨 Why This Matters
Language is power.
When someone controls your ability to name them—or yourself—they are seizing your autonomy. Survivors describe how exhausting it is to constantly monitor their words, fearing punishment or emotional backlash if they “slip up.”
This dynamic is not a game. It is a red flag.
When a person insists on a name that elevates them and diminishes you,
When they make that name a condition of care, sex, or safety—
You are no longer in a relationship.
You are under rule.
🔍 How to Recognize This Tactic in Real Life
Do they require you to call them something that makes them feel powerful?
Do they punish or shame you if you don’t say it?
Do they prohibit you from calling them by their real name?
Do they refuse to let you choose how you’re addressed?
If the answer is yes, you may be looking at coercive control—not love.
💬 For Survivors: Reclaiming Language
If you’ve been forced to call someone a name that made you feel small, confused, or dehumanized, know this:
🕯 You are not crazy.
🕯 You are not alone.
🕯 That was not love.
🕯 You have every right to use your own words, your own voice, your own name.
You get to define your world now.
✊🏾 Final Word
This is why we must listen when Survivors speak.
Not just to the visible wounds—but to the ways language was stolen, twisted, and used against them.
So the next time you hear someone say:
“He told me I had to call him…”
Don’t dismiss it.
Don’t laugh it off.
Don’t romanticize it.
Hear the alarm bell.
Because names are never just names in systems of abuse.
They’re tools of power.
🟣 WeSurviveAbuse.com | #LanguageIsPower #WeSurviveAbuse #CoerciveControl #NameItToEndIt #SurvivorVoicesMatter
