I am interested in the men who are willing to challenge male violence with the same confidence they use to challenge women's refusal.It's
It’s interesting to watch entire panels of men gather to discuss women, our boundaries, our language, and whether we should be allowed to define ourselves.
Some cannot even get through the discussion without calling women names. Women who disagree are labeled hateful, ignorant, fearful, or worse. Apparently, a woman knowing who she is and what she needs to feel safe is a problem that requires an entire panel of men to address.
But I have a question.
Where are all these panels of men gathering to confront male sexual violence with the same energy?
Where are the lectures about males respecting other people’s bodies, privacy, and boundaries? Where are the public conversations about men who sexually assault vulnerable people, including people who identify as male?
Because we have a serious problem, and it is not women’s unwillingness to accommodate males.
A Female Patient Went Looking for Medical Care. A Man Raped Her.
In April 2022, a female patient who identified as a transgender man was placed on an all-male psychiatric ward at Lambeth Hospital in London.
She was raped shortly after arriving.
Davointe Thomas was subsequently convicted of rape. Reporting on the case also raised serious concerns about the hospital’s handling of evidence and the investigation.
Think about that for a moment.
This was someone courageously seeking psychiatric medical care. Someone who needed treatment, supervision, and protection. Instead, she experienced sexual violence in an institution responsible for her well-being.
Her identification as male did not protect her from sexual assault.
And the question we ought to be asking is why a vulnerable female patient was exposed to that danger without adequate safeguards. But it also affirms that where there are male human beings, female human beings require safeguards.
Women Have Been Warning About Access and Proximity for Generations
Women have been saying something very straightforward for a very long time.
Female human beings face a disproportionate risk of sexual violence, and access and proximity can create opportunities for males who choose to harm them.
This does not mean every male is dangerous. It means we understand that sexual violence has recognizable patterns, and those patterns should inform how institutions protect vulnerable people.
There is research behind these concerns.
- The Office for National Statistics reported that in England and Wales, 3.0% of females experienced sexual assault, including attempts, in the year ending March 2025, compared with 0.7% of males.
- A 2024 study published in the Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine examined sexual safety in English psychiatric hospitals. Researchers found increasing reports of sexual safety incidents and breaches of mixed-sex accommodation rules, along with poor adherence to national sexual safety standards.
- Research published in The British Journal of Psychiatry also examined women’s experiences in mixed-sex and women-only secure psychiatric units. Women in mixed-sex units described threats, assaults, unwanted sexual behavior, and the strain of anticipating danger.
- Another study of acute psychiatric wards found that male patients were more likely to engage in nonconsensual sexual touching, although overall rates of challenging sexual behavior did not differ between mixed-sex and single-gender wards.
Women did not invent these dangers, and women should not be expected to pretend they do not exist. A female person does not become immune to male sexual violence by identifying as male. Safety policy should be capable of recognizing that.
Females Who Identify as Men Are Experiencing Sexual Violence, Too
Here is something else that deserves far more public attention.
The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey found that 51% of respondents who identified as transgender men reported experiencing sexual assault during their lifetime, compared with 37% of respondents who identified as transgender women.
The survey was voluntary, so those figures should not be treated as nationally representative rates. But they are significant findings from a large survey.
Why aren’t these experiences prompting more conversations about protecting females who identify as men?
Why aren’t male advocates asking whether these females are receiving appropriate medical care, whether institutions are responding to their disclosures, and whether safeguarding policies are accounting for their vulnerabilities?
Why does the conversation keep returning to what women must accept?
Females who identify as men deserve protection from sexual violence. Their experiences should not become invisible because acknowledging their vulnerability complicates somebody’s political argument.
And women who do not identify as men should not have to surrender their own safeguards to demonstrate concern for them.
We can care about both without pretending that sex is irrelevant to safety.
If You Have a Platform, Challenge Male Behavior
I would like to see some of these male panels devote an entire discussion to the behavior of males who sexually harass, intimidate, assault, and rape other people.
Discuss the men who exploit access to vulnerable patients. Discuss what happens when institutions fail to intervene. Discuss why victims struggle to be heard and why perpetrators are sometimes allowed repeated opportunities to harm.
And while you’re at it, discuss the difference between someone’s desire for access and another person’s right to safety.
Nobody needs to be insulted for raising that distinction.
Women are not confused about what we are asking for. We understand that privacy, boundaries, supervision, and appropriate separation can be important safeguards. We also understand that no safeguard is perfect.
But ending sexual violence requires confronting perpetrator behavior, holding offenders accountable, and building institutions that protect people before they are harmed. Before you ask women to reconsider their boundaries, tell us what you have done to reduce the danger those boundaries address.
You cannot end male sexual violence by continually negotiating female boundaries.
I would welcome seeing men use their platforms to challenge other men with the same determination they bring to challenging women.
Because a female patient who goes into a hospital for help should not have to worry about being sexually assaulted.
And women should not have to defend the very idea of taking that risk seriously.
If you can organize an entire panel of men to lecture women about access, surely you can organize one to discuss why so many females need protection from male violence in the first place.
A room full of men discussing what women should permit is not the same as a room full of men discussing what men must stop doing.
And I am far more interested in the second conversation.
Research and Sources
1. Office for National Statistics (2025). Sexual offences victim characteristics, England and Wales: year ending March 2025.
2. Brooker, C., and Tocque, K. (2024). Sexual Safety in English mental health in-patient beds: has nothing been learned? Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine, 105, 102709.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38936180/
3. Safety of women in mixed-sex and single-sex medium secure units: staff and patient perceptions. The British Journal of Psychiatry.
4. Sexual behaviours on acute inpatient psychiatric units. King’s College London research publication.
5. National Center for Transgender Equality (2016). The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey.
https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/usts/USTS-Full-Report-Dec17.pdf
6. Daily Mail. Court reporting concerning the rape of a female patient on a male psychiatric ward at Lambeth Hospital.
“Say the Right Words and Walk Right In” Was Always Stupid AF – WE Survive Abuse
The Exception Man: New Vocabulary Does Not Change the Reality of Male Violence – WE Survive Abuse
“Why Are Women Still Cleaning Up the Violence Men Refuse to Name?” – WE Survive Abuse