Sisterhood Can’t Be Real If It Skips Over Racism

Sisterhood can’t be real if it skips over racism.

There are women who carry racist beliefs, jokes, or habits in their daily lives — yet they still expect trust, solidarity, and access to other women’s most sacred spaces. That is not safety. That is not love.

Trust is earned, not demanded. And when you dismiss or deny the harm of racism, you are asking other women to put down their guard while you hold onto your bias. That is not equality. That is not healing.

If the word “woman” were replaced with any other group of people, the insult would be glaring. So why do we tolerate it when it’s aimed at Black women, Indigenous women, immigrant women, or darker-skinned women?

And no — I will not come into a space and erase myself just to keep from upsetting your biases.

I get to live exactly as I was created.

“I know we ask women to trust one another — but trust doesn’t erase the work we have to do. You can carry the language of sisterhood and still have the blind spots of racism. I believe in calling for accountability and radical grace. But trust is earned, especially when biases are present.”

You cannot carry racism in one hand and demand sisterhood with the other.

🔍 Why It’s Real & Painful

1. Mismatched expectations.
   You might expect solidarity, understanding, mutual care from other women — but if someone holds unexamined racism, their support can feel conditional, hollow, or harmful.

2. Emotional labor and risk.
   Trusting someone means you’re vulnerable. If that person holds bias, your pain might be minimized, dismissed, or retraumatizing.

3. Hidden betrayal.
   The fact that a woman is part of your “team” doesn’t mean she’s safe. Seeing her behavior shift when race, culture, or difference is involved can feel like betrayal from within.

4. Structural patterns in micro form.
   The broader structures of white supremacy, anti-Blackness, colorism, etc., are often mirrored in interpersonal dynamics — even among women. So the hurt we feel is not just personal — it echoes systemic wounds.

If we are serious about sisterhood, then we must be serious about truth. Keep confronting your biases. Do the work. Listen when women tell you where the cracks are. Trust is not built on silence or erasure — it’s built on courage, accountability, and love that refuses to leave anyone behind.

Let us create spaces where no woman has to shrink, explain away her existence, or trade her dignity for belonging. That is the sisterhood worth fighting for.