A woman named Poinsettia Grant-Parks was preparing to move in with her sister—just two days away from escaping a stalker and abusive ex-boyfriend
Photo by Charlotte Cowell
A woman named Poinsettia Grant-Parks was preparing to move in with her sister—just two days away from escaping a stalker and abusive ex-boyfriend. She worked as a security guard. She was doing what so many Survivors do: planning, hoping, reaching for safety.
But she never made it.
Her ex-boyfriend, already on parole, killed her after she threatened to tell his parole officer about his stalking. He could have walked away. He could have chosen freedom. Instead, he chose violence. He killed her—then lost his own freedom anyway when he was sentenced to 85 years.
How many times does this same story have to repeat before we realize that we are going the wrong way? It comes in every male color, belief, region, religion, wallet size, and educational level? And since they’ve recently started adding this new solution delayer, I’ll play along this time -sexual identity too.
Male Pain and Violence Is Not a Mystery
Male pain and violence are not unsolvable riddles. We know the patterns. We know the warning signs. Yet, rather than addressing these realities, too often male pain is exploited:
- For political gain.
- For public visibility.
- For money.
The result? More violence against women and children.
Who Benefits from Male Pain?
The truth is, only a few.
- Male influencers profit by selling anger, misogyny, and rage.
- Systems profit by feeding prisons instead of investing in genuine treatment and healing.
- Leaders gain attention by exploiting violence, not by ending it.
- People who represent and sell weapons
But everyday men, women, and children? They are left less safe.
The Cost of Exploiting Male Pain
Instead of promoting healing, we see:
Lower tolerance for women and children speaking about boundaries from friends, associates, colleagues, political leaders. “Be kind” is everywhere and yet, is it me, or kindness hasn’t exactly been on the rise?
Hostility toward diversity, inclusion, and equality—especially when it does not center men.
Everywhere, women are pressured to shrink, to stay silent, to protect male egos at the cost of their own lives. Telling us we don’t see what we see or hear what we hear.
A Different Way Forward
It does not have to be this way. Male pain can be met with accountability, healing, and transformation. But this requires systems and leaders who care more about saving lives than about profiting from destruction.
Women like Poinsettia should not have to lose their lives for male pain to be taken seriously. Her story reminds us: when we ignore the roots of male violence, women and children pay with their safety, their futures, their lives.
✨ Reflection Question for Readers:
Whose safety is prioritized in the systems around you—women’s, children’s, or men’s?
And what would it look like if women’s safety finally came first?
What would it look like if children’s safety finally came first?
What would it look like if all men’s safety finally came first?