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🤲🏽 What Is Self-Trust? (And Why Is It So Hard After Abuse?)

Self-trust is the sacred belief that your own voice is worth listening to.It’s the quiet knowing inside that says:“I believe myself. I can rely

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A woman practicing a headstand yoga pose on a rooftop terrace with city buildings in the background.Self-trust is the sacred belief that your own voice is worth listening to.
It’s the quiet knowing inside that says:

“I believe myself. I can rely on myself. I will protect myself.”

But for many Survivors, that voice gets silenced, questioned, or even punished.
Not just once. Over and over.

🌫️ Why Self-Trust Breaks After Abuse

Abuse—whether emotional, physical, spiritual, sexual, or psychological—is not just about harm.
It’s about manipulation and control.

Abusers often teach Survivors:

  • “You’re overreacting.”

  • “That didn’t happen the way you think.”

  • “You’re too sensitive.”

  • “If you’d just done ____, I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

  • “No one else will believe you.”

Over time, that toxic repetition becomes internalized.
You start second-guessing your feelings.
You replay your decisions.
You wonder: Am I the problem? Am I broken?

This is not a character flaw.
It’s a survival adaptation.
You did what you had to do in a world where your truth wasn’t safe.

🪞A Metaphor: The Shattered Mirror

Imagine that your inner voice—your self-trust—is like a mirror.

Before abuse, it may have reflected your thoughts, feelings, and instincts clearly.

But after repeated harm, manipulation, and gaslighting, that mirror begins to crack.

Each time someone tells you you’re wrong, selfish, or imagining things—
Another crack.

Until one day, you can barely see yourself clearly at all.

Now, when you try to make a decision or listen to your gut, it feels like navigating through shattered glass.

But here’s the sacred truth:

The mirror can be repaired.

It takes time. Tenderness. Care.
And most of all—it takes your permission to start listening to yourself again.

✨ Signs You’re Rebuilding Self-Trust

  • You pause and ask, “What do I really feel?”

  • You stop apologizing for your boundaries.

  • You walk away even when people say you’re “overreacting.”

  • You no longer need others to co-sign your choices.

  • You begin believing your memories—even the painful ones.

  • You show up for yourself, especially when it’s hard.

🕊 Gentle Reminders for the Journey

  • Self-trust isn’t loud. It whispers. Learn to hear it again.

  • You may need to try, wobble, and try again. That’s healing.

  • You are not dramatic. You are a person with deep wisdom.

  • Even if you were lied to, your inner voice still lives.

  • You can rebuild what was broken—piece by sacred piece.

🌿 Affirmations for Reclaiming Self-Trust

  • I am learning to believe myself again.

  • My body, my feelings, and my spirit carry wisdom.

  • I deserve to make decisions that honor my peace.

  • I don’t need permission to know my own truth.

  • I trust myself to protect, care for, and lead myself forward.

You are not too far gone.
You are not broken beyond repair.
Your mirror can be whole again.
And you—yourself—are worthy of your own trust.

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