There’s no secret clubhouse.No annual meeting.No formal initiation or online group chat. And yet—somehow—they just know. They know what to say.They
There’s no secret clubhouse.
No annual meeting.
No formal initiation or online group chat.
And yet—somehow—they just know.
They know what to say.
They know when to say it.
They know which truths to deny, and which lies to dress up in respectability.
They know how to discredit Survivors without ever having met them.
They know how to twist the narrative until harm looks like love, and silence looks like peace.
Abusers follow the same unwritten rulebook.
Not because they planned it together.
But because systems of power taught them the same steps to the same destructive dance.
1. Silence is Sacred (But Only for Them)
Abusers don’t need to be told—they already believe that silence protects power.
Speaking out is betrayal.
Telling the truth becomes a sin.
They expect the world to look away, and sadly, many do.
2. Victims Must Prove They’re Worth Believing
Survivors are instantly put on trial.
Their clothes. Their tone. Their past. Their reactions.
Meanwhile, abusers?
They are offered empathy, second chances, and infinite “benefits of the doubt.”
3. Blame Is a Game—And Survivors Are Always ‘It’
“She was asking for it.”
“He was just misunderstood.”
“They stayed, so it couldn’t have been that bad.”
Different voices, different regions, different backgrounds.
But the excuses? Practically identical.
It’s like they’re reading from the same teleprompter.
4. They’re Unified by Ego, Not Empathy
What brings them together isn’t compassion.
It’s power.
Image.
Control.
A desperate need to preserve their place in a world that rewards dominance and punishes truth-telling.
5. Systems Reward Their Unity
Workplaces. Courts. Families. Schools. Movements. Political Parties. Faith Communities.
Too many of our systems enable abuse by punishing Survivors and protecting perpetrators.
It’s not just individual behavior—it’s a pattern supported by structures.
Survivors, You Are Not Crazy.
You are not imagining the eerie consistency.
You are not wrong for noticing that abuse has a rhythm, a tone, a script.
You are not bitter for naming it.
You’re awake.
You’re telling the truth.
And your voice matters more than ever.
🌻 Let’s Break the Agreement
At WESurviveAbuse.com, we believe in disrupting this cycle—one truth, one boundary, one bold voice at a time.
We say what they fear most:
“I remember.”
“It wasn’t okay.”
“And I deserve safety, dignity, and peace.”
Let’s write new agreements—ones built on healing, protection, and unshakable truth.
