Let’s stop lying to Survivors. Let’s stop telling people who have lived through violation, abandonment, abuse, and neglect to just “push the plate aw
Let’s stop lying to Survivors.
Let’s stop telling people who have lived through violation, abandonment, abuse, and neglect to just “push the plate away” like food is the problem—when safety was the thing stolen from us all along.
You can’t portion-control your way back into a body that doesn’t feel safe.
You can’t shame yourself thin when the weight is tied to wounds that haven’t been witnessed.
🧠 This Is Biology, Not Brokenness
After trauma—especially chronic trauma—your nervous system rewires itself for protection.
Here’s what your smart, sacred body may do to keep you alive:
🍽️ Increase your hunger hormones (like ghrelin)
🛑 Slow your metabolism (because your body thinks danger is near)
🧱 Store fat for survival (especially around the belly for hormone regulation)
😶 Shut down digestion (your body doesn’t “digest” well in danger mode)
🔄 Repeat cycles of binge/restrict—not from weakness, but from alarm
This is not failure.
This is adaptation.
😔 For Many of Us, Food Was the First Safe Place
Some of us grew up in homes where touch was not safe.
Where “love” came with strings, secrets, and surveillance.
Where our rooms were not respected.
Where uncles stared too long.
Where someone opened the door when we were changing.
Where no was ignored.
So we found refuge in the one place no one could take from us without force:
a warm bowl.
a midnight snack.
a locked bathroom with a spoonful of sweetness.
Food didn’t violate us.
Food didn’t judge us.
Food didn’t lie.
And so our body, in her loyalty, said:
“Let me build some armor.
Let me keep her soft so no one sees her as a target.
Let me give her something she can control.
Let me try to keep her here.”
🔥 This Is Not Just Emotional—It’s Somatic
Trauma lives in the body.
And healing from trauma must include the nervous system.
That means before we talk about calorie counting or gym memberships, we must talk about:
Regulating cortisol through breath and rest
Calming the vagus nerve through cold exposure or humming
Moving for pleasure, not punishment
Creating safe, boundaried spaces in our lives so the body can finally stop bracing
Because once the body believes,
“We are not in danger anymore,”
the healing begins.
And yes—sometimes the weight releases.
But other times it stays, like a wise elder sitting at the door saying:
“I remember what we survived.”
💬 Say This With Me:
I am not ashamed of how I survived.
My body responded to danger exactly as she was designed to.
I give my body permission to feel safe again—slowly, fully, without shame.
I do not owe anyone smallness.
I owe myself softness.
🌱 When the Body Feels Safe, She Lets Go—Of What’s No Longer Needed
Not on a deadline.
Not on demand.
Not for acceptance.
But because she no longer needs to carry it all.
So if your healing looks like more weight before it looks like less—you are not failing.
You are processing.
You are de-armoring.
You are returning.
And returning home to yourself is the most powerful transformation there is.
Note: This is not meant to speak for everyone.
