Why Boundaried Spaces Matter for Women and Girls

Spaces Are Never Neutral

Every room, circle, or gathering carries intention. A healing circle, a classroom, a women’s group—it’s not just walls and chairs. It’s purpose, energy, and protection. When boundaries are blurred or ignored, outside forces—predators, biases, cultural myths—bend the original intention until harm takes root.

Boundaries Are Survival

For women and girls, boundaried spaces are not luxuries. They are lifelines.

They guarantee:

• Dignity – No one reduces women to objects or afterthoughts.

• Privacy – Restrooms, shelters, hospitals, and healing rooms free from intrusion.

• Voice – The right to speak and be heard without correction, dismissal, or intimidation.

Enietra Washington, the only known Survivor of the Grim Sleeper (Lonnie Franklin Jr.).

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Myth: “If Women Just Spoke Up Sooner, They Could Have Stopped the Abuse”

Her story is chilling because it shows exactly how predators weaponize stereotypes about Black women’s kindness and “meanness.” This tactic could have been used against any woman, but Lonnie was a Black man and he knew that it would hit Enietra differently coming from him.

Washington testified that she initially refused Franklin’s offer of a ride. She had her guard up. But then he mocked her, saying something like: “Oh, you Black women are always so mean.” That guilt-laden jab—playing on racist and sexist stereotypes that Black women hear constantly—made her feel pressured to prove she wasn’t “mean.” She got into the car.

That choice almost cost her life. He shot her in the chest, sexually assaulted her, and pushed her out of his car, leaving her for dead. But she survived and later gave powerful testimony that helped bring him to justice.

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When Boundaries Are Violated

When women’s boundaries are dismissed, harm multiplies:

• Girls are told that “kindness” means sacrificing their safety and they carry this lesson throughout their lifetime. 

• Survivors are silenced in rooms that also harbor sympathizers of abuse.
• Elders are labeled “bitter” for requesting female carers, though their safety depends on it.
• Disabled women are made to feel hateful for setting limits, even when they are among the most vulnerable to violence.

Our Responsibility

Boundaried spaces don’t appear by accident. They must be:

• Intentionally created – with women’s safety at the center.
• Fiercely defended – even when culture pressures us to compromise.
• Honored across generations – so girls grow up knowing they are worth protecting.

A Call to Remember

Boundaries are not rejection. They are devotion. They are love. They are the altars where women and girls can rest, heal, and rise without interruption.

Because women and girls deserve more than survival—
They deserve to dream, to rest, and to live in fullness.