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When Your Strength Makes Them Angry

Some people will try to make you feel like you did something wrong just for standing in your own power. You say no.You speak up.You leave.You choos

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Some people will try to make you feel like you did something wrong just for standing in your own power.

You say no.
You speak up.
You leave.
You choose peace.
You protect yourself.

And suddenly, they’re angry.

Why?

Because some people—especially abusers—don’t want you to have power over your own life.
They don’t want partnership, truth, or healing.
They want control.

So when you walk in your truth, when you start setting boundaries, when you stop shrinking to keep the peace—they feel provoked. Not because you’re wrong. But because you’re not playing the role they wanted for you.

They may lash out, guilt-trip, stalk, lie, or even become violent.

For example:

  • A woman says she’s not ready to have sex. The man gets angry—not hurt, angry—because he sees her choice as defiance.

  • A girl tells a teacher about abuse at home. The parent feels exposed and retaliates—not because she lied, but because she spoke up.

  • A Black woman rises in leadership. A colleague tries to sabotage her—not because she’s unqualified, but because her confidence makes him uncomfortable.

Here’s the truth:
🟪 Autonomy doesn’t cause abuse.
🟪 Abusers cause abuse.
🟪 Your voice, your confidence, your choices—those are not the problem.
🟪 Their need for control is the problem.

So if someone is angry just because you’re taking care of yourself, just because you’re growing, just because you’re not bowing down to them anymore—believe what they’re showing you.

That anger has nothing to do with love.
That’s control.

And you?
You’re still worthy of safety.
Still worthy of love.
Still worthy of peace.

Let the world make room for your voice. Not just your silence.


🟣 Visit WeSurviveAbuse.com for more survivor-centered truth and healing.

Autonomy Is Not Teflon

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