Hollywood movies and the biased media have taught us well. Too well. One of the most dangerous myths we carry is the belief that men who are unkind,
Hollywood movies and the biased media have taught us well. Too well. 
One of the most dangerous myths we carry is the belief that men who are unkind, rude, or harsh somehow make better protectors. We confuse domination with strength, and cruelty with safety. But this is not protection—it’s just another form of control.
Here are some of the myths that feed this false belief, and why we must let them go:
Myth 1: “Bad boys” only exist among poor or low-income men.
We often imagine that cruelty, rudeness, or lack of empathy comes only from men without money or power. But men with wealth, status, and influence can be just as unkind—and often their resources make their abuse harder to challenge or escape.
Myth 2: Bad boys only come in one or two skin tones.
Some women are taught to expect rudeness, arrogance, or cruelty only from men of a certain race. When harm shows up in another skin tone, it can be harder to identify or name it. Even the people around them get confused because this happens to “other women” who are in relationships with “those men”. Abuse does not belong to one community, one culture, or one race—it can come in any package. Believing otherwise leaves women unprepared and vulnerable.
Myth 3: Harshness equals strength.
We’re told that a man who talks rough, mocks others, or shows no empathy must be “tough enough” to protect. All women should stand behind him to be shielded. He will protect us.
In reality, harshness is weakness disguised as strength. More often than not, these men aren’t interested in protecting women. They are more likely to demand total and complete submission and compliance from women.
Real strength is found in compassion, patience, and the courage to protect without demeaning.
Myth 4: Control looks like protection.
When a man dictates what you wear, who you talk to, or where you go, it can be framed as “caring.” But control is not care—it is ownership. Control is not the same as covering.
Myth 5: Anger is passion.
We’re told an angry, explosive man is simply “passionate.” But anger is not love, and fury is not proof of protection. A man who is not disciplined enough to control his temper cannot be trusted to safeguard the peace of others.
Myth 6: Cruelty is a sign of leadership.
Too often, cruel men in leadership are excused because people say, “He gets results” or “That’s just how strong men lead.” But leadership that relies on fear is not leadership—it’s tyranny.
Where This Myth Comes From
This dangerous idea is centuries old. In many cultures, women have been taught that enduring unkindness is safer than facing the world alone. Stories glorify the “bad boy” as the one who can keep women safe from other men, as if only cruelty can shield us from cruelty.
But history and lived experience show the truth: men who belittle, control, and harm women rarely transform into genuine protectors.
Final Word
Protection does not come from intimidation. Safety does not come from cruelty. The men who truly protect are those who stand in love, empathy, and justice. Anything less is just domination dressed up as strength.