Women and children are often told—explicitly and implicitly—that their boundaries don’t matter. That they should bend, break, or erase them altogeth
Women and children are often told—explicitly and implicitly—that their boundaries don’t matter. That they should bend, break, or erase them altogether for the comfort of others. That they should make exceptions based on relationships, identities, or circumstances.
No.
Boundaries protect. Boundaries safeguard. Boundaries are a right.
Here’s a list of who you never owe access to your body, your space, or your trust just because others think you should:
1️⃣ Men Who Others Say Are “Good Men”
I don’t care how beloved, charming, or “safe” people claim he is—your boundaries are yours to set. Women are too often pressured to let their guard down around men who “seem nice.” The worst betrayals have come from those deemed trustworthy.
2️⃣ Family Members
Blood does not entitle anyone to physical or emotional access. “But that’s your uncle/cousin/grandfather/brother” is not a valid reason to override discomfort, fear, or past harm. Protecting your peace and your safety is more important than upholding toxic family loyalty.
3️⃣ Spouses & Romantic Partners
Love is not control. Love is not forced access. Love respects boundaries. If a partner disregards or guilts you into dropping your boundaries, that is not love.
4️⃣ Men With Disabilities
Disability does not make someone inherently good or safe. Women and girls are often told they are cruel for maintaining boundaries with disabled men, as if their right to safety should be secondary. It is not.
5️⃣ Religious or Spiritual Leaders
A title does not make someone above scrutiny. No pastor, imam, priest, elder, guru, or spiritual teacher has the right to demand access to your body, mind, or spirit. Be wary of any doctrine that tells you your boundaries are an act of disobedience.
6️⃣ Younger Boys & Men
A younger age does not mean harmless. Women and girls should not be expected to tolerate inappropriate behavior from younger boys because they “don’t know any better.” Teaching respect goes both ways—your boundaries matter regardless of their age.
7️⃣ Authority Figures & “Mentors”
Bosses, coaches, professors, political leaders—titles do not erase a woman’s right to say no. Power does not equal permission.
8️⃣ People Who Assert Their Gender Identity Overrides Your Boundaries
No one, regardless of their gender identity, has the right to demand women and children lower their boundaries. A claim to an identity does not erase patterns of predatory behavior, nor does it obligate women and girls to give up their spaces, safety, or instincts.
9️⃣ Friends of Friends
Just because someone is trusted by someone you trust does not mean they are trustworthy. Too many women and girls have been harmed by someone introduced as “a friend of the family” or “someone I’ve known forever.” Keep your discernment sharp.
🔟 “Nice” Strangers & “Helpful” Men
Kindness is not proof of safety. Many women and girls are conditioned to feel guilty for setting boundaries with someone being “nice.” But the world is full of men who are kind until you say no. Keep your boundaries intact.
You Never Owe Anyone the Lowering of Your Boundaries. Ever.
If you take nothing else from this, let it be this: Your safety is more important than anyone’s hurt feelings.
And if someone is offended by your boundaries? That’s a them problem, not a you problem.
Keep your boundaries strong. Keep your peace protected. Keep yourself safe.
