updated from original post on 12/15/2015So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows. A true crime show. You c
updated from original post on 12/15/2015
So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows.
A true crime show.
You can read about the story here:
What I want to talk about is the reaction on
Myths about Teen Boys and Sexual Abuse
Well, here were some of the comments from Twitter. Same myths different day. Folks broke out the pictures, rhymes, old sayings and everything.
Here is the gist:
Here is the gist:
Myth:
“Terance (assaulted/groomed/raped victim) was gay and didn’t want to deal with it.”When a young male is assaulted by an assailant who happens to be male that does not mean that the male victim is gay.
Sexual orientation is complicated and personal.
Male-on-male sexual violence is nothing like that. At all.
Male-on-male sexual violence is complex, isolating, and violent.
Like other forms of sexual violence, it is about the enforcement of power and control. Sugar Ray Leonard and Mike Tyson have both shared that they were sexually assaulted as children. While neither has stated that they are gay, both were once vulnerable children.
Myth:
“Terance (assaulted/manipulated/raped victim) could have stopped the abuse if he had wanted to.”Terance was groomed. In
He offered young boys a place to come and hang out. They could come play video games and drink alcohol. Once the young people were drunk and vulnerable, the perpetrator would attack them.
Myth:
“This wasn’t a situation of abuse at all.”At some point we have to get people to understand that teenagers are not nearly as savvy as adults.
They are not even as savvy as someone a few years older than them. They are still developing.
If you want your children to grow some patience, might I suggest teaching them to cook.
When my son learned to cook, his patience for everything involving food grew instantly.
Rather than rushing for food to hit his plate, he had newfound wisdom.
“Mom, I’m just saying just because it looks done and you want it to be done doesn’t mean it is done
People are like that.
Kids may look like adults. And, when adults commit crimes against
This is wrong and counteractive to our growth as a society.
“Well the kids from the mean streets of XYZ are older because….”
“Well, in Germany you can drink by this age….”
“Well, she is a teen mom so…..”
“Well, he could make babies so…..”
“Well, she is an honor student so…..”
My hands are clasped, and I am patiently waiting for you to stop talking nonsense. These are kids, teenagers.
“Well, in Germany you can drink by this age….”
“Well, she is a teen mom so…..”
“Well, he could make babies so…..”
“Well, she is an honor student so…..”
My hands are clasped, and I am patiently waiting for you to stop talking nonsense. These are kids, teenagers.
Myth:
“Terance was a football player/male so he should have been.Just because a child is physically strong doesn’t mean that they can fight off an abuser. Acquaintance child sexual abuse/rape doesn’t usually rely solely upon physical strength anyway.
What happens is this. The perpetrator gains the trust of the young person over a period of time.
They make the young person feel that their “relationship” is “special” and “different” and “unique”.
The perpetrator creates a false fantasy world in which only the two of them exist. If you are an adult who has ever been in a consensual relationship only to discover that it was all one big lie…. you know this feeling.
All the perpetrator does is recreate this, only against an unsuspecting naïve teenager who isn’t even looking for it. And remember, teenagers, are usually friends with other teenagers who also aren’t yet experienced enough to see this coming or know what to do about it.
This is grooming.
The Real Adults in the Room
Look, we must start with the real adults in the room. We must protect the children.
Do our actions and laws demonstrate that we care about them?
Do our actions and laws protect them?
Are we making sure that lawmakers are addressing these issues to include male victims?
Two sites I like that address male sexual violence:
If you know of a male blogger, vlogger, podcaster or professional who assists/supports ending sexual violence against males (while simultaneously respecting women & girls)…please let us know. WE like to support.
info@wesurviveabuse.com
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Further Reading
COMMENTS