Survivor, you’ve carried so much. You’ve fought for healing, for hope, for wholeness—not just for yourself, but for others too. You’ve tried to pour
Survivor, you’ve carried so much.
You’ve fought for healing, for hope, for wholeness—not just for yourself, but for others too. You’ve tried to pour love into places that had no room for it. You’ve tried to speak life into people who chose silence over truth, distance over depth.
But let me say this plainly:
Their emotional unavailability is not your fault.
You are tenacious—sometimes to a fault. You know how to hold on. You know how to work things out. You’ve made magic out of very little. You’ve been the glue, the bridge, the balm.
But here’s the hard truth:
That same strength can sometimes be used against us—by others, and even by ourselves. We try to “understand them.” We try to “meet them where they are.” We give time. We give grace. We give chances.
And we lose ourselves.
You are not to blame for their brokenness.
You are not the cause of their stunted growth.
You did not create their walls.
You are not responsible for their refusal to show up, grow up, or heal.
We have to learn to put ourselves first.
It may feel foreign. It may feel wrong at first—especially for those of us who were taught to survive by anticipating the needs of others.
But the truth is, you are all you have.
And you deserve a life that honors you back.
You deserve connections rooted in truth, not performance.
You deserve people who show up with full hearts, not half-closed doors.
You deserve reciprocity. Clarity. Peace.
It’s not selfish to stop carrying people who refuse to walk.
It’s not heartless to stop begging someone to care.
It’s not unkind to say, “I deserve more than this.”
It’s holy. It’s healing.
It’s you, finally choosing you.
